Medical Questions > Womens Health > Menopause Forum

Menopause and my outlook

Dear Doctors,

Thank you for listening, even though perhaps your tired of questions from woman on this subject.

I turned 47 today, and last month, (May 2009) was the first month I skipped a period since I was 35. (Prior to that age, from age 12-35, I could go a year or so without periods, but it did not inhibit my ability to get pregnant and have three children from '83-'87) Although I was irregular throughout my younger days, I never worried about it and actually was glad not to deal with periods. However, when my GYN put me on birth control pills (progesterone only)at age 35 to regulate my period, I developed high blood pressure. I stopped the pills but my periods remained regular from age 35-one month ago, age 46) I still have the high blood pressure controlled by Diovan.

My question is this. Do you suggest I see someone for my mental status on my feelings about menopause? Lately all I think about is how I am suddenly an old woman and now wonder if the lack of periods will cause me to be less than a woman. I almost feel like its the beginning of death because with death, organs begin to shut down. With the shut down of my ovary's beginning, I dread the idea that I am no longer a "viable" woman. I am more of an empty shell and with the loss of my ovary's, next will be other body parts, eventually leading to my death.

I seem to be obsessing over it, and even worry that every symptom of a cold or whatever is now the beginning stages of some hormonal disease, like ovarian cancer, breast cancer, etc...even though my exam in January and the tests he ran reveal nothing wrong. I am pretty healthy for my age and have been told I "look" younger than my age, but I am so worried that I will age quickly now that I am seeing a stop in my periods. I was suppose to get it again today, and so far, no period.

Is it normal for woman to feel like me? I never thought I would feel this way, ever. Its not abnormal for me to be lacking a period since I started my womanhood like that...yet, now I feel like since I know its permanent, I am dying. I look at my body and I am seeing an OLD woman, from my hands to my face to all over.

I don't feel depressed, but I do feel obsessed with menopause and its symptoms. I feel like that's all I think about, which is why I need to know if I need to see someone. Neither parent of mine is still alive, as mom died in '96 from diabetes at age 60,and dad just two years ago at age 76 from emphysema. I watched both die and take their last breath.

Anyway, I am sorry I am asking...perhaps I just need to focus on something positive about menopause, but I cant seem to find anything that is positive about it. I hear the lack of hormones causes brittle bones, cancer, memory loss,, what IS positive about it?

Kelly in San Diego
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replied June 9th, 2009
hello again and your welcome to ask questions. You know i guess i asked myself the same questions as you have asked and menopause is something you have to think positive on.
I asked my doctor about what the next step was and when do i start HRT? His reply was you are doing fine as seemingly some sail through it and others need the hormone replacement therapy.
Basically until you ask for help they prefer to let mother nature take her course and hopefully things settle down.
I once asked the same question on this forum and i was advised that as long as i entered with positive attitude i had won the hardest battle.

I don,t feel less a women as i was blessed with three now grown kids and think more of the unfortunate that have had medical conditions and had to lose their womb and ovaries very young and no chance of a family.

if it makes you feel better then do speak to someone like your octor and explain you are having difficulty accepting the change in your life.
I maybe wrongly assumed because i had prepared for it and feel content that all other women need is re-assurance.
You don,t look old and do look young for your age going by your photo and also both my parents are passed on so couldn,t ask motherly advise on it.
I have never asked about the brittle bones or other factors but shall research and maybe put a post on regards it.
Maybe like me in some way you need to try loving you again for the woman you are.
beautiful hair and all your good qualities and take things from there.
I would hate to think that you will become depressed through negative thought so try give yourself a boost.
We are all the woman we are ever going to be now and if your partner is supportive you have a good start.
hope this helps you in some way.
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replied June 9th, 2009
Community Volunteer
I am sorry, but you will have to address this to the Doctors...This is at the top of the page....This is in the general Menopause Forum...However, I do have a few comments on your post....

Seeing I am well past this point in life, why would you consider me less than a woman after this period of my life has passed?...My organs are still working fine even though I had a full Hysterectomy at age 47 and I consider myself complete...I had never been told that I would age faster because I didn't have my periods any longer.. and as far as wrinkles go, I am doing pretty darn good...Heck, a man even tried to pick me up at a grocery store less than 10 years ago...As for the dying thing...We are each dying every day...Started when we were born....Neither of us can starve off this situation in life...As far as memory loss....You have got to be kidding...I am at the top of my game...

I have children?...I grew up with mine..Had them at 22, 23 and 28....I can't believe both the joy and sorrow of life that they have given me...I have not had time to worry about aging and life...Oh, and no brittle bones or cancer...

Somewhere in life you have picked up this "wrong impression of aging"...It is not only Menopause, it is loss of beauty and life...Where I have grown from this point on, you have fear...Unless you can change your thinking on life, you can "self destruct" all by yourself with this dread of facing these years ahead...

I wish I could let you read my stories of life and love after Menopause, but I can't...Each stage of my life has been wonderful....However this chapter where I now rest my body, has been the most puzzling and wonderful time in my life...I wish you the best....

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replied June 9th, 2009
Active User, very eHealthy
Caroline is right! I can't believe that you are fretting over this stage in your life! You are finally going to be FREE! Free of that monthly monster, the cramps, the mood swings, the mess, and everything else that goes with menstruation. You are just starting the best years of your life! Though sometimes it takes years to go through menopause, once it is over you can relax and begin to enjoy yourself! I can see someone who wants more children feeling apprehensive about it, but if you are done having yours, then it can truly be a wonderful thing. I know also, that some women have a hard time with menopause, but you can control alot of that with medication IF it should be the case for you. The key is NOT to anticipate it! I was lucky... I started at 35, was totally finished by 45, and just thrilled to see that last one go! I sailed through with very minor aggrivations...
alittle dry skin, alittle hair thinning, but NO wrinkles...I can still pass for my daughter's age, who is turning 34! So you just need to shed the negative thinking, and look forward to all that life holds in this next chapter of yours. Sex will still be great, even better! You don't have to worry about that little visitor making a sudden stop! Believe me, you are still a woman every inch of the way! Bleeding does not make you a woman. You are not going to die from this, or suddenly turn old. It's all in how you look at it, and there are plenty of things you can do to make this an easier transition for you, starting with changing your way of thinking. Go forth, be free and enjoy!
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