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Male Borderline Personality Disorder

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Hey Guys,

I am a 33 year old guy who has recenly been diagnosed with BPD.

My BDP dates back many many years but I have managed to supress the symptoms. Seems they have exploded out like a volcano the last six months causing me to self harm nearly daily now.

I know theere are many woman out there with BPD and I would love to here from you to....but if there is another guy out there around my age with BPD please let me know as I would like to just go over it with someone that understands....maybe get some perspective.


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First Helper Rayofhope
Users who thank Phocks for this post: cheekymonkeyboy 

replied March 17th, 2009
i dont know but if there was a way for you to be healed would you take the healing, or would you say no thanks. jesus came to not only to give us life but to give it to us abundantly. he came to set us free from bondage of sin and death and sickness, he came to heal the broken hearted, to set free those who are in captivity in other words to set us free from physical and spiritual problems. he brang us his kingdom and in that kingdom has healing provision of daily needs, comforting, guiding, counseloring peace and more. he died to sickness disease sin and death and by his wounds you are healed. to receive all this and more we must receive the healer jesus christ . godbless and all the best.
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replied March 20th, 2009
Experienced User
That is rubbish, religion has nothing to do with boarderline personailtiy.

It is a problem, that ended my first marriage. I was cutting myself, and still to this day hate myself and fail to properly take care of myself.

I have Boarderline Personality, Bipolar, PSTD, ADHD, and OCD.

I would like to talk to you further about this, I send you an e-mail please get back ahold of me, it is nice to have firends with the same problem.

By the way my name is Pammila and I am 37 been living with borderline personality most of my life.

The funny thing about it, is that some relationships it was a problem, and others it was not. Thankfully I am remarried and now it is not currently a problem, but I would still like to help you out with this problem.

I can't remember the name of the book, but there is a training book for borderline personality. That you should get, I got a copy here and will try to find it and get back to you with a name. But it is training on how to act normal around others.
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replied March 21st, 2009
What makes it 'borderline'
I was recently diagnosed with dissociative identity disorder, (formerly known as multiple personality disorder) after hearing voices and having black out periods. I had different symptoms that went way back as well, but like you they just sorta exploded more recently. I only know my alters by the what they say to my fiance and other close family members. They lie and pretend they are me to other people although they have different names. I havent met anyone else dealing with this crap and think it would just be nice to talk to someone else that sorta gets it, you know, the day to day crap.
Good luck finding what/who your looking for.
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replied March 21st, 2009
Experienced User
We don't have multiple personalities, just a problem with relating to loved ones. It is a balancing act between upset and angry. Trouble with hating ourselves. And sometimes cutting ourselves.

I feel for you though, dissociative identity disorder. That sounds horrible. I don't know what to say for your situation, other then keep up counseling and seeing your perscribing doctor.

With borderline personality, we need to take classes to learn how to fit in with others.
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replied September 19th, 2009
Males with BPD
I am responding to this because I suspect that my 19 year old son may have BPD. He has the current diagnosis of ADHD, anxiety disorder and complex partial seizure disorder, but in the last 6 months, other symptoms have started to emerge and they are leading me to think of BPD. Impulsivity, which of course can be ADHD has increased. He has started abusing alcohol and is currently on house arrest for drinking and ending up inside another persons home. But probably the most distressing symptom is his odd relationship with girls. Literally jumping from girl to girl, stating he is in love after even just a few conversations (since he is on house arrest, he is doing internet dating only), but even by phone calls and talking on computer, he is very controlling and ends up pushing the girl away. When this happens he gets very, very angry - that is untl he finds another girl within a day or so... For any of you with BPD, does this sound familiar???
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replied April 7th, 2010
I think my son has BPD as well. He will be 17 soon. We began taking him first to our family Dr. aroung age 7. The Dr. said he was not Add or ADHD, but prescribed ritalin for him anyway and then sent him to a child psychiatrist. The psychiatrist said he was just bored and too smart for his class and this was why he was disruptive and had a problem with authority.
Most recently, he has manifested other symptoms like cutting himself, 3 suicide attempts by OD, manipulating others by threatening suicide, distances himself from his emotions at times or has extreme emotions like innapropriate anger, shopplifting (currently on informal probation for that), blames other for his actions, easily bored, he makes friends easily, but always has new group of friends, every few months it''s like he forgets about his friends and finds new ones and is always with them. He has a girlfriend, they have been together for over 2 years, but it''s an on-off again relationship and unfortunately she acts in a similar way to him. So if we are not at the hospital for him, we may be at the hospital for her. He also sees others girls, I am not sure if his girlfriend is aware or if it''s only while they are "off" part of their relationship. He also tells me what a horrible mother I am, yet he not only always wants to stay with me, he tells me that I should make his brother stay with me and not their dad (we are divorced and share custody) because their dad lets his brother do whatever he wants and will call in for him if he''s late to school. So he says I''m a horrible mom, but at the same time, knows I will take care of him and his brother and try to make them act in a responible, discipline manner. He is currently in ''independant study" for the last year, because he was expelled from the school district for bringing alcohol in a water bottle for some girl who got drunk during lunch and sick in the following class. This has only made things worse.
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replied June 23rd, 2010
I started this blog. Might help to see a fellow male's perspective. The reason I started the blog was two-fold:

1. To help myself work through my recovery
2. To provide support for other males with BPD

I'm a 37 year old male who has been seeking answers for nearly 20 years (after my first serious relationship ended and I "lost it" and ended up a in Psychiatric hospital. This was the first of three admissions.

Any feedback is welcome.
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replied September 7th, 2010
A Spiritual Response
I want to respond on two fronts.

First: I have been diagnosed with BPD by a licensed psychiatrist, and have all the symptoms necessary for the diagnosis contained in the DSM IV. The reason I say that is that while it may or may not be because of an imbalance of chemicals within my brain, it is a very real, frustrating and difficult diagnosis. And it is one that I struggle with on a daily basis.

The second reason I wanted to respond is that I am a practicing evangelical Christian pastor. I am sorry for the post earlier talking about Jesus and the healing that he offers. I can't stand the self-righteous drivel that seems to be put out there by people that have no idea what it feels like to live with this condition, or others like it. I do believe that Jesus offers healing for things like this, but I don't think it's like asking to be happy, or to be more joyful. When I pray for healing, I am asking for God to do something like heal a broken leg, or a spine affected by multiple sclerosis, I am not just asking for a change in mood. I am sorry for the offence that this individual caused to those of you that are struggling, like me, on a daily basis to ignore the things our brains are telling us about ourselves.

It's not easy being us, and most people will have no idea the heroes we are just for getting up in the morning, and I wanted to say something to honour that effort. Thank you for being you.

Nathan Barnes
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Users who thank ndbarnes for this post: InfinityPlus24 

replied December 26th, 2010
Recovery from BPD IS possible
I am a female who was diagnosed BPD at 19 my father had the same diagnosis, sadly he never recovered and he died when I was 10. I did recover and stopped severe self harming at 25. I'm 33 now. I believe from what I remember of my father that he was over medicated with heavy duty drugs Valium and Largactil to name a few and he was never offered therapy. I do think the diagnosis is often misused by clinicians when they cannot place the person into any other disorder. Recovery is possible through therapy and I believe this disorder occurs via trauma and it would perhaps be more appropriate to use PTSD as a diagnoses. I had to identify the emotions I was feeling in order to recover. The problem was an overwhelming sensation that I thought would make me go crazy and so I would cut to distance and ground myself from this sensation. Learning to recognize emotions, ie anger, sadness, was the key to my recovery. Once I could feel these feelings and realized that they wouldn't drive me crazy, though they were unpleasant, I had to learn that it was o.k to 'feel'. I also began to learn that these intense feelings would pass. When in these states it felt like I would always 'feel' this way, that there was no escape, I had no sense of the future be it in years, hours, or minutes. Now if I feel down it is not nice but I know it will pass. I never get into the deep depressing zones I used to. I was once told by a psychologist I would never recover. I am glad I never internalized this because I want you and anyone who has this diagnoses to know that recovery IS possible. It is a painful journey, I won't sugar coat this but it is ultimately rewarding. I have terrible scars physically and those I can live with because the emotional wounds have been healed.
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Users who thank Rayofhope for this post: InfinityPlus24 

replied April 30th, 2011
healthy choices
Hi Brad,

Your best bet would be to try to find a healthy person for support rather than form a relationship with someone who has been diagnosed with BPD. Whether the condition arises from a chemical imbalance or trauma, the symptoms are overwhelming and create problems for the sufferer and others. On a practical level, symptoms and problems will decrease once you learn to act responsibly and adopt new behaviour. Anger management, assertiveness training, mindfulness and adopting healthy forms of stress relief are crucial. Learn how to recognise your triggers and either avoid them or work out a way not to react without first pausing and then thinking clearly about the consequences. Instead of focussing on past wounds or hurts, try to realise the impact of your choices and behaviour on yourself and others. Get clean and set challenging goals to help focus on something positive and productive and break the negative ruminations. The danger of befriending someone else who has not healed from BPD is that the two of you might share your painful symptoms without making much gain. Bottom line, I believe BPD is a manifestation of a reaction to abuse and there is a grave risk that you will respond with similar violence to yourself and others. Breaking the cycle of violence is what needs to be addressed. How can you deal with rising tension without losing self control and injuring yourself or others?
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Tags: male, symptoms, woman
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