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Lost my mom to liver cancer. Don't know how to cope.

I recently lost my mom to liver cancer. She fought bravely for 5 years and held us all together till the end. She finally passed away at just 58 years old beginning of June 2011. I have been simply devastated. It was horrible to see her suffer at the ending couple of months and I cannot erase those images from my mind as I held in my arms and she coughed up blood and was in so much pain. I was there when she took her last breath and I still get nightmares about everything. I try to think of the good times but I simply keep seeing the bad end. I have been struggling with these feelings and never tried to search for anything online. I finally searched for something to help me and found this website and read other peoples posts who have gone through the same thing. I thought I would share my feelings as well so maybe if something else goes through the same thing they know they are not alone. I feel robbed of my time with her. Just when my life was taking a turn when I could start doing things for her, rather than her taking care of me, I lost her. I am just 23 and I had so many wishes to fulfill her dreams which will now go unfulfilled. She was my best friend and I loved her the most in the world. I don't know how to deal with it at all yet even though 4 months have passed. I cannot even look at her pictures as it makes me cry myself till my eyes hurt and I can't cry anymore. It has been 4 months and I thought it would get better but it doesn't. If you have some advice regarding how I can cope that would be so good, or simply share your thoughts if you have gone through something similar.
My prayers and sympathies with everyone who is going through what I have gone through.
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First Helper echogirl
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replied September 16th, 2011
Hello Lost and Alone,

I lost my mom nearly four weeks ago suddenly and unexpectedly. I understand all of the pain and agony you are feeling. The things you are feeling are not at all uncommon. I too have those same feelings. My mom was my best friend, my everything. I have tried a grief support group and one on one grief counseling. They have both been helpful as I can talk with people that help to share my pain and I know I am not alone. There is a website called Griefshare.com you can go to and find a grief support group near you. I pray a lot for comfort too. I am on this site a lot so please feel free if you need someone to share your feelings with I am on nearly every day. It helps me a lot to read the posts and chat with others that are feeling the same as me.
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Users who thank echogirl for this post: lostandalonenow 

replied November 8th, 2011
cancer sucks
my mother was diagnosed with liver cancer on september 12 , the day this post was made...she passed away october 23...she was only 61..im barely coping but i keep my head up for my ma..knowing that she gave me the strength to make it through this life ..and i live each day trying to be happy because thats what she would want ...but its a constant battle..at times tougher then others...when my dad passed away 29 years ago...my mom must have felt the way i do now..yet she carried on with smile on her face for me..and thats what i will do for her..live life full to make her proud...remember your mother would want you to know that you are allowed to be happy and to seek the good in the world so that you can make the best of each day...and not to feel sad for her..because she is definately happy now...remember, its not dieing thats hard...it living thats hard.
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replied November 16th, 2011
I can relate
My heart goes out to you. On September 17, 2011, my mother took her last breath with my two sisters right there. We are finding it hard to deal with our lost of mom, but we know that God don't make know mistakes. Please press forward and trust in God to pull you through. I'm a teacher, and my students can tell that I miss my mother so much, that they comfort me at times with words. My mother and I were like best friends..Talking on the phone four or more times a day, so I know how you feel. I've been told that I will never get over my mom's death, but that I will learn over time how to deal with her being gone. I told my sisters I'll rather have my mother at peace, then lieing in a bed suffering,because she's holding on for me. God bless.... Keep yourself busy and in constant prayer for peace and serenity.
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