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Lost All My Hope (Alone and Depressed)

Everyday, I just try to get up and make it through. More and more, I have to fight myself just to get out of bed. What's the point? I have no one who really wants to see me.
I'm 19, I live alone with my Mother. She works full time... long hours, for no money. I'm homeschooled, I work at my church, volunteering for a Program to teach kids how to read. It's easy to hide everything from them, But more and more... I'm lonely. I've tried to go out and make friends... But It never works.
I'm Over weight, Morbidly obese to be technical. I can still walk, and run for a little. I like walking... but with someone. I tried my hardest to find a friend, I'm not looking for anything special really. Just someone I can hang out with, not be so lonely.

A few years ago, I was depressed and at my highschool someone planted a note in another person's locker saying I wanted to kill them. The school wouldn't even show my Mother's lawyer the note. And they stuck me in a 72 hour hold. Since then, I've gone farther down hill. Now I'm still in 11th grade... But Passing with a's and B's. My school is going well... and I guess my weight is getting better... But I'm lonely. What's the point of doing all this stuff to make me feel better if it's not working. Having good grades won't get me friends, I'm homeschooled online. There's no one around. Losing weight? It really only get me shallow friends.

Like I said... I'm not looking for something special. Like the love of my life. Or a best friend Forever. Just... Someone. But no one's come... I'm ready to just fade away. I really wish, God would just take me, Since he's not helping with the friend thing. I don't expect him to do everything, But a hint or a sign that I will have someone will be nice.

Nothing's coming... I'm lonely, and ready to just end it all. I honestly don't know why I'm still even here... Some pathetic hope that someone will reach out and let me know that I'll be okay sooner or later?
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replied February 25th, 2019
Thank you for asking at Ehealth forum!

I read your question and I understand your concern.
You would need psychotherapy sessions. Join support group. Avoid loneliness. Keep yourself busy.
I hope it helps. Stay in touch with your healthcare provider for further guidance as our answers are just for education and counselling purposes and cannot be an alternative to actual visit to a doctor.
Take care
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