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losing erection at time of penetration

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i am just turned 33. been married now for almost 8 years, had a second baby in november 2009.
during my wife's pregnancy and even after the baby, we have had little sex.
now in the past 4 weeks, we have hardly had sex. we tried 3 times in 4 weeks, but each time i lost my hardness after foreplay.

i used to masturbate once daily or every second day earlier. for the past 2 weeks i have not done that. yet i am losing my erection at the time of penetration.

one feeling i have is that i am finding my wife unattractive because of the weight she gained during the pregnancy. and in my mind, maybe i am comparing her with other girls who are slim and fit and hotly attractive.

i will really appreciate your advice.

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replied March 27th, 2010
Hi there, thank you for posting your question on Ehealthforum. This is not intended as a substitute to visiting your own doctor.

Have your blood sugar and fasting cholesterol checked. After that I'm not sure. I'll assume your problem is simple performance anxiety because that is the commonest cause of erectile dysfunction in your age group. Basically, watching yourself trying to get an erection.
For the moment then lets assume that you have developed a degree of erectile dysfunction brought on by Performance Anxiety or watching yourself trying to get an erection. You have three choices now. You can do any one or all of them.

(1) Do nothing and wait for it to right itself. Remember, most erectile dysfunction goes away of its own accord eventually.
(2) Go to a doctor and get a prescription for something like Cialis 20mg. This should kick-start the system for you such that you quickly regain your confidence.
(3) Go to a Sex Councillor and learn how to get round Performance Anxiety through behavioural techniques. These typically involve stop/start erection management and eventually having intercourse with the lady on top doing all the work while you just lie there doing nothing. If you are not expected to perform then you cannot have any performance anxiety. A sense of humour too of course always helps.

I hope you found this of some help. Feel free to post again if you think I'm wrong here.

Dr Andrew Rynne.

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replied March 28th, 2010
just try browsing "losing sexual power" and you will find interesting stuff
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