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I am 38 years old. At 9 weeks with an unplanned pregnancy. Am I depressed, and is what I'm feeling normal?

The father is someone whom I met only 4 months ago. He is supportive and looks forward to the baby (so he says).

Initially relieved that I could even get pregnant (first time), but now pregnant, I regret being so. I am not ready for this pregnancy.

I am hating everything about this pregnancy. I hate having to think about the pregnancy constantly, feeling fat, changing my lifestyle, worried about my future. I don't want to wake up in the mornings. I have no interest in anything. Am I depressed? Do I have dysthemia?

I am lucky to to have a first time pregnancy at 38. Why am I feeling this way? Am I a candidate for Post Partum??
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First Helper User Profile yogahoneybunny
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replied May 17th, 2009
An unplanned pregnancy is a lot to accept sometimes. It is good that your guy is supportive. Remember everything happens for a reason. Kids are beautiful things, think of the wonderful chance of a family you have now. You cant really turn back time, try to stay positive about the whole situation. It will make things easier for both you and your man.
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replied May 28th, 2009
Experienced User
I am about 10 weeks pregnant and can relate to how you feel. I feel down and out, with no real enthusiasm for anything. I think that it is part of the process, though. And have heard from other women that after months 3-4, you start to feel back to your former self. At least that's what Im hoping for.
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replied August 2nd, 2009
SBL... how did you do... can you update us? I'm looking for hope.. thanks!
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replied August 11th, 2009
Active User, very eHealthy
The low feelings for me went away during the second trimester. Just hold on and wait it out. Or, if you need to, talk to a counselor and/or your primary physician about alternatives.
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replied November 11th, 2009
Similar Situation
SBL,

How are you doing? I am in a similar situation and have an unplanned pregnancy with someone I've been with on and off for four years. He said he wanted a baby many times and now he says he's not ready. He is 34 and I am 38 so our circumstances are different.

I am devastated and don't know what to do. I'm scared and feel misled.

How did everthing work out for you? I hope you are well.
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replied September 19th, 2010
My son's girlfriend is pregnant, my son is extremely happy and supportive and really wants to have the baby. She is 4 weeks pregnant and is feeling extremely sad. She cancelled her Dr's appointment for next week and is considering to abort. My son said he would go to counseling with her anything she wants. He does not know what to do or have the answers. He knows he has no rights or say if she does abort. What advice can you suggest for him. He is willing to raise the baby on his own.
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replied October 21st, 2012
These feelings are not normal! Moodiness comes with the territory, but "down and out" "hopeless, worthless, empty" do not. Speak with your doctors, ladies! There are safe medications and many alternative therapies.
When I spoke with my doctor it was hard, but the therapy has turned my life back around. There is nothing to ashamed or afraid of. Depression in pregnancy is more understood than it used to be and your doctor will be glad to help you out (if not, find a new one!)
It certainly doesn't hurt to ask and you'll feel so much better that you did. Good luck!
Xo
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replied November 24th, 2012
I am glad to see that I am not alone, even though it makes me sad knowing that someone else is experiencing the same issues as myself. I am 9 weeks along and feel empty, no motivation, and see a bleak future. This child was not planned but we were going to start trying next year after I had found a different job, since the one I have is poorly managed and is high stress.
I am someone that should not have a lot of estrogen and I am sure this has a lot to do with it, but it was good to hear that maybe this will start to lesson in the 2nd trimester. I feel horrible for my husband, he is so excited and I am now just starting to get a little better, day by day. I wish there was some sort of advice I could give others going through issues early on, but there really isn't other than in time it will start to lessen, hopefully.
I had my first child 11 years ago, and was put on Zoloft, my child is a Zoloft baby, he is very sensitive and is constantly paranoid as if he needs to be on the actual medication. I would never want to go back on anything else since they told me at the time it was safe.
Also for anyone out there that is trying to help someone get through this, if you cannot think of anything to say, please do not result in saying oh just be positive or think positive, its not that easy and if anything you will end up insulting them and making them feel like they are less of a person. I turned to a very close friend and she tried telling me that I just need to be positive and that I should just be happy. It made me very angry and I now know that I will not want to talk to this person about my issues again since it just made me feel worse.
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