Medical Questions > Abortion > Abortion Pro Choice Forum

Logic vs Heart

I'm 19 years old and i am 5 weeks pregnant with my fiance's baby (he was me fiance prior to being pregnant). I am really having a hard time debating whether or not I want to abort it (and which type of abortion to have) or if i want to keep it. I know that the more 'right' and LOGICAL thing to do is to have an abortion. My fiance just moved here from the east coast, was previously unemployed (but now makes $100,000 a year at his brand new job) and we're basically just getting started, haven't had time to save up any money or pay off some of the credit card debt he has. I dropped out of college with no real intention of going to it in the first place, as the only thing i wanted to do with my life was to get married and have a family. Now that it's been given to me i'm not sure if it is the right time. I haven't had time to set up a proper home for the child. My fiance feels the same way-- he wants to be able to fully provide for me and his family giving us the best things we deserve. My parents are close and are supportive and would be willing completely to help, but i think for my fiance and his ego and just his overall man-ness he needs to feel like he can support his family by him self and he would not like to accept the help of my family. Completely something i need to consider. I know he would prefer me to have an abortion but I know that he would support me if I decide to keep it. And that's the thing-- my heart honestly wants to keep it. I've always wanted a baby since i was 16 and my biological clock fast forwarded way too fast. Now it's here, but I don't know what to do because logic kind of outweighs what's in my heart. Also it's very very scary to actually imagine going through with the pregnancy because then I am stuck with a baby and my entire life changes. If i have an abortion i feel like there is less room for regret, but who knows what is in store in the future, what the future of my fertility is, nothing is predictable. I really am torn about what to do.
If i were to have an abortion at first i thought i would have the medical kind, because it seemed more natural-- however now i know it's far more painful (and i think mentally more painful as well because it's being dragged on) However i'd totally want to be knocked out for the surgery because i can't handle pain or any of that stuff. And i also wonder about how that would affect my future ability to conceive. Ugh. I REALLY don't know what to do. I've talked to so many close friends and relatives and at the end of the day it really is my decision, nobody wants to influence me, but they give me their ideas. It sort of helps, but i STILL do not know what I truly truly want to do. Because I don't know if in this situation you are supposed to go with logic of heart....
Any suggestions opinions and personal experiences would be greatly appreciated. Thanks!
Did you find this post helpful?

replied April 10th, 2011
Extremely eHealthy
Did you find this post helpful?

replied June 9th, 2011
there is help!
Hi buceybee

I'm going through the same experience right now. I'm not sure whether or not you've made your decision yet, as you must be well along into your second trimester by now if not having opted to end the pregnancy, but there are SO many support resources at Planned Parenthood. Find the closest one next to you. Whatever you've decided, there are resources to help you either way in the warmest, safest, most confidential and respectful environment. I am 8 weeks along and will be ending my pregnancy next Tuesday, and I spend probably an hour crying it out every morning since that EPT test came up positive. But Planned Parenthood has got all kinds of resources for women who kept their babies, ended pregnancies... I wish you the best of luck.

Warmest regards,
Did you find this post helpful?