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Life? panic attacks at night, just thinking about dying

Okay so recently, I have been genuinely questioning the point of my life.
I know it sounds like a ridiculous thing to say at 17, but I get to the point where I'm having mini panic attacks at night, just thinking about dying. I have this insistent, nagging...obsession with the fact that I won't make it to the age of 50. Cancer will snatch my life away or something stupid and trivial and easy and common will end it all. It's kind of a raw panic and fear about the end of my life. I have this outlook on life being lonely and pointless and that the only way to escape is death? And then what? Nothing. Because I'm dead. I find myself staring at the lines in an underground station and genuinely not caring if someone pushes me.
I don't know why I have started to think about this. I know it's only been within the last year - since starting my A Levels - that I've been thinking about how much the idea of uni scares me and growing up is frankly terrifying.
My parents don't know or even suspect my inside struggle and it's weird because my childhood has been good - really good. My parents aren't divorced, nobody has died (yet) that has had a massive impact on my life and I'm financially okay.
Even though people say that the point of life is love and it will all fall into place and blah blah blah - I know that one of us will die before the other, not to mention all the times I've cried myself to sleep over the fact that one day my parents will die.
I'm really, really at a loss as to what to do and how to motivate myself to want to...live? Please help me :'(
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replied April 22nd, 2014
Dying is a part of life. Everyone was born and everyone will die. Dont think about it. Smile
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