Medical Questions > Mental Health > PTSD Forum

Letting go of someone with PTSD.

A few weeks ago, my live-in boyfriend of three years left me. He had been pulling away and escaping, so I suppose I saw it coming. When we had our final one-on-one, he told me that he thinks something's wrong with him -- he's not happy with me, but he doesn't think he ever has been happy in his whole life.

I went through the stages of angry texts, begging for him back, etc. He always responded with an "I'm truly sorry but I need space. I don't know what will happen in the future."

Later on, I found out that he started seeing a psychiatrist for the first time. He has been diagnosed with post-traumatic stress syndrome from his time in the military and with a possible case of borderline personality as well. He has told me that he is a mess right now.

In researching these disorders, I understand his actions so much more and realize that he really DOES need space and I shouldn't fear for the future anymore. I love him enough to let him go and I love myself enough to want to heal whether it be with him or without him.

Here's what I'm doing. I wrote him a letter -- a paragraph long -- telling him how I feel. Basically, that "I think he is an amazing person and that I love him very much and want him to be happy. I told that I will give him all the space he needs. I said that I will always be here for him if he ever needs me because I don't turn my back on the people I care about. Then I wish him the best."

Is this too much? Will it be too much for him? Should I just cut off all contact with no reason? Is the letter a good idea? Should I amend it? Please advise.

Thanks!
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replied October 20th, 2008
Experienced User
DO NOT cut off contacts unless that's what he wants. be friends for now. he needs the help first. trust me. i am talking from experience. i am married to an iraqi combat vet. they need more love and understanding than anything else
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replied February 28th, 2009
my boyfriend has ptsd
hi im new to this i have been wiv my partner 4 12 years he had an accident wiv his lorry and a women sadly past away this was over a year ago.but he hasnt seen a cpn becouse the court case i still not over and done wiv.2 weeks ago he said to me that he didnt think he loved me any more and we tryed to work things out but ended up deciding it would b better 4 out 3 year old daughter if we broke up.he was verry upset about the fact that he didnt know y he is feeling this way about me and he hated himself as a person for hurting me as he still cares about me.he wants to stay friends for now.and he says he is really sorry for breaking my heart.i love him so much and its killing me knowing that this is only becouse of the ptsd that i and my daughter dont get the chance to live a happy life.i would give my life 4 this man but i cant help him.he has also got verry pally with a female he used to work with so i might even have to wach how he eventually starts a new life and im left with a broken heart and soul.but i cant b angry at him as i know it is not his fault.and i will always b there 4 him and will always love him
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replied February 28th, 2009
hi im new to this i have been wiv my partner 4 12 years he had an accident wiv his lorry and a women sadly past away this was over a year ago.but he hasnt seen a cpn becouse the court case i still not over and done wiv.2 weeks ago he said to me that he didnt think he loved me any more and we tryed to work things out but ended up deciding it would b better 4 out 3 year old daughter if we broke up.he was verry upset about the fact that he didnt know y he is feeling this way about me and he hated himself as a person for hurting me as he still cares about me.he wants to stay friends for now.and he says he is really sorry for breaking my heart.i love him so much and its killing me knowing that this is only becouse of the ptsd that i and my daughter dont get the chance to live a happy life.i would give my life 4 this man but i cant help him.he has also got verry pally with a female he used to work with so i might even have to wach how he eventually starts a new life and im left with a broken heart and soul.but i cant b angry at him as i know it is not his fault.and i will always b there 4 him and will always love him
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replied April 30th, 2012
Want my PTSD see I care do much for him
PTSd whom I cared for deeply,, just told me it over.
I questioned him on his where abouts,
And that cause his anger and he cannot trust
Me anymore ,feels I will upset him again
How do I get one more chance from him.
I miss him , my feeling for him are
Caring and being there for him.
And want him back
|
Did you find this post helpful?

replied April 30th, 2012
Want my PTSD see I care do much for him
PTSd whom I cared for deeply,, just told me it over.
I questioned him on his where abouts,
And that cause his anger and he cannot trust
Me anymore ,feels I will upset him again
How do I get one more chance from him.
I miss him , my feeling for him are
Caring and being there for him.
And want him back
|
Did you find this post helpful?
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