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Just looking for hope%u2026. Do I just wait for him

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Hey guys, if you've read my other posts you probably know the situation. I had a sudden breakup with my bipolar boyfriend the day after I decided to stick with him no matter what. I was suddenly a burden, a tumor. He wanted to "be free" and not attached to anyone. He asked me to text him a while ago and deleted his Facebook. I have sent him 3 texts with no reply. I am in contact with one of his friends and they say he doesn't talk about me. How can I go from being best friend, love of his life, to absolutely nothing? I cry almost everyday, I miss him so much. He could tell me anything and would always tell me how I was different and he loved me more than any of his past girlfriends. I still love him and i'm willing to learn and work with his disorder. But I don't know how to break through his walls again. Do I just wait for him to come around? Will he come back to me? I'm having a really tough time with all the questioning and uncertainty. Can anyone give me some words of hope that he will come back? Thanks for reading.
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First Helper Brokentwice
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replied January 16th, 2014
He will contact you at his convenience...when he's feeling down..when things aren't quite going according to plan...the 'me alone time' gets old and realizes that working on himself alone is not going to change anything because he's bipolar and it's cyclical behavior he obviously has no control over. He will when he starts feeling lonely...the one-nighters/month-longers are not fulfilling anymore and starts picking at little things about the new people and getting irritated...and he starts going over old photos and remembers the beautiful things about the relationship that he was drawn to in the first place.
I woke up this morning to see in my Facebook feed that he has just re-friended and old acquaintance..who he was not friends with after he decided to be committed to our relationship.. I haven't even been out of the house a week yet..still moving things..and he's putting himself out there. I'm disgusted right now. This chick seems to be an ambitious conquest for him (I don't think he realizes he is not the rockstar he thinks he is). He may be able to get in a night or two, but guaranteed, he will not be able to be himself...he has to put on an act to lure these ones in. He did this before during a major episode..dumped me for greener pasture that obviously wasn't greener and came running back. He is drawn to longer-distance hook-ups because he doesn't have to have much physical contact and can keep things under control and hidden easier...thrives/gets a rise out of the texting/facebook/facechat relationship because he struggles with emotions and REAL communication on a personal face to face level...that's why they never work out.

They don't realize that the reasons we lasted so long with these people is because of our unconditionally, forgiving nature and willingness to weather the storms (unfortunately we're not worth the same effort on their side). Most people, would kick them to the curb after certain behaviors and see the weirdness we tend to push to the side. Not us...that's why we are on the forum.
You'll be faced with the same question I will when or IF they even come back...do we want them back after they've been out hooking up with other women and not making any committments?
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replied January 16th, 2014
Well we were only together for 6 months.. Maybe i'm one of those "one month" girlfriends? I know we belong together, it was obvious from when we first met, I just don't understand how that all disappeared. It's baffling, I suppose there's no way for me to understand. I'm not bipolar. I want to stay with him, but I know this will happen again. I know there is no cure, and i'm ready for that. If he would just come back I know we could be happy again. This whole thing is just nonsensical. Heehhhhhhhh, well, I guess I just have to wait for him to feel like I'm not the enemy anymore.
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replied January 16th, 2014
6 months is a long time for anyone, let alone a bipolar relationship. Keep the hope up..try to stay strong Smile I have no hope..once he crosses that line and starts sleeping around...well.. He wants nothing ever to do with me again..not attracted..not in love..too many options here for him...like an adult playground. I'm just a normal, middle-class, no trust-fund, no supermodel yoga, head CEO anything. That's what he wants...one night stands..excitement. According to him...our relationship had 'run it's course'. I'm pulling for you!! Hugs
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replied January 17th, 2014
Thank you.. he texted me back tonight, acting like we were "old friends" and nothing had ever happened. It doesn't make it hurt any less. I don't know. He's only thinking about himself, I'm not even in the picture, I'm a sideline right now. Should I still hope he'll come back? Is it good that he is talking to me? He's a person who doesn't believe in friends after relationships.. but maybe I'm grasping at straws. He told one of my friends "I broke up with her a month ago, the story is over" but I have a feeling he was just trying to get her to stop talking about it.

I'm sorry you went through that with him, just know that this is his choice. He's making the decision to give in to his urges.
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replied January 21st, 2014
My BF fimally admitted that he is BiPPolar We have been together since June 2012. Everything was going well until his brother( 12 yrs.younger) suddenly passed away in Jan. of 2013. Everything from then on seemed to go down hill. We went days /weeks without any communication. I love him very much and although I will never know what he is going through or is feeling I will support and help him in any way that I can. Now my question is: He has travelled out of the country 3 times since Sept 2013. He is supposed to return at the end of Feb.I would hardly call what has been going on between us a " relationship" I would like to start fresh when he gets back. I feel that if he wants a "relationship" with me I need it to be based on trust, honesty and most of all good communication. Under the circumstances would that be expecting too much of him? I feel that those things mentioned are the basis for any lasting relationship, either that or maybe it is time to move on. Please any advice would be greatly appreciated.
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replied February 14th, 2014
Well here I am again...My BF has been going back and forth to Manila since Sept. 2013. He told me that he was going to Costa Rica and bought a business but I just found out from his mother that he had been going to Manila, met a woman and got married 2 weeks ago. I am devestated. I wonder how long he would have kept stringing me along until he actually told me what he was really doing? He has only known this woman for 6 mos. at the most and has only been with her for 3 due to his travelling back and forth.He will be back in March for a week to get some things settled and then he will return to the Phillipines.I will probably never see him again after that. I plan on seeing him when he gets back in March as I have some things that belong to him and I need to see him one more time, I need some closure and that is the only way that I can move on. I would appreciate any suggestions that anyone can offer to get me through this horrible experience.
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replied January 22nd, 2014
The exact same thing happened to me! He would always say those things to me too, and I was a mess when we broke up. I felt miserable, and honestly I still feel miserable even though we broke up a few weeks ago. To be candid, it will be so much better for you in the long run if you treat the situation like you're not going to get back together. After we broke up, we were still friends and he still gave me hope because he kept telling me he loved me and that the breakup was only temporary, but a couple days ago, he just told me he didn't love me anymore.
I was absolutely heartbroken.
If you need to, take some time off from talking to him for awhile. It's such a hard thing to cope with, but it would be absolutely horrible for you to remain friends when you still had feelings for him. Trust me, it sucks.
I left for about a week until my emotional connection with him was broken. It was the most grueling and long week of my entire life, and it's really painful, but you can't just keep dangling yourself by a thread for him.
I felt really bitter, like almost angry at everything that was going on. We had dated for 9 months, and I felt like I was one of those "one-month" girls too. It's not great, but no breakup ever is.
Let him go, you can still be friends, but I wouldn't keep your hopes up because it would hurt even more to have them crushed.
Good luck with everything, I wish you the best. Just know that it'll be okay in the end, that I can promise. Stay positive
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replied June 13th, 2015
I really wish I had read these posts two and a half years ago when I had a happy heart , destroyed by being shut out overnight broken hearted
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replied June 17th, 2015
I fell in love with my BP very quickly too. Charming and charismatic to a tee. 20 years later...I am married to someone else and he wants to come back. Same lines as I remember them before.
I figured out those first few weeks to months are an illusion of the dillusional thinking going on in his head.
Nothing is real it is crazy and then when the mania disappears do does his illusion.
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