I really need help with this, my head has been all over the place recently i feel like i can't move on.

Here is how it started 4 years ago i was in my last year at uni and i met this sweet kind girl she was a lot younger than i was which freaked me out at first because she was only 16 and i was 22. But i liked her.. however we didn't start going out officially for about 2 years after we first met. I was bad to her and always kind of stringed her a long even tho i really liked her. I had so much going on graduation and all this work stuff. Theres no excuse for the way i was but i think deep down i just liked her too much to let her go.

Il always feel bad for the way i treated her at the beginning she should have told me to get lost after a few weeks.. but we seemed to have this connection that has lasted till recently.

fast forward 4 years to present, we ened up going out seriously and it was great but she had lots of problems, a eating disorder, she would get outbursts of pain in her right arm, depression lots of stuff.. that i know i didn't help with at the begginning but i tried my best to understand when we got closer.

However it seems that our relationship has come to an end, she doesn't want to talk to me anymore, she feels like we can't be friends. At first i thought maybe she's right we have to move on, a few months went by and suddenly it hit me like a ten tone truck iv lost this girl who i really do love, she made me so happy.

Our relationship wasn't smooth but when things were good they really were... what do i do? do i leave her alone? iv wrote her a letter telling her how much i love her but i feel like she will just dis regard it as some more emotional crap. She's also told me she's met a new guy? this really has screwed me up, i can't sleep and i can't seem to eat much.

I also feel like i never satasified her in bed, over the whole time i never made her orgasam once... she said it might be something to do with the antidepressants she was taking or the medication for her arm, but now its over i keep playing this in my head why couldn't i satisfy her?!! i feel so low thinking about it. We had a lot of sex but it never seemed to happen she told me it nearly did but i can't help thinking im crap or something.

All i want to do is have the chance to explain how much she means to me.. i really do miss her.

hope someone can help me.
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replied April 16th, 2011
I made a lot of mistakes while we were getting close, id always make an excuse why i didn't want to officially go out with her!!! for some stupid reason i thought i wasn't ready for a serious relationship so i would sleep with other girls and it just totally runied me.. i regret it so much. I had friends around me always saying we are too young for a serious realtionship but i should have been thinking about here feelings not my own stupid reason why i didn't want to get close.

And i know deep down this effected her greatly she was already depressed and this couldn't have helped i know i was bad and i can't do anything about it now. Apart from learn from it and never do it again.

When she broke things off completely a few weeks went by and i felt ok in fact i thought i started to feel something for a new girl but i started to her.. it seems like a black out to me right now.. like somesort of delayed effect why would this be?

I know she's the only girl i want but iv found out the hard way.. she doesn't want anything to do with me. And it hurts like hell..
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