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Is my boyfriend gay?

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I have known my boyfriend for a long time but we just recently got together. He always seemed really nice and getalmen like. I just found out that he is addicted to porn. He also watches gay porn and has been on gay chat sites. He also told me he has experimented with men but isnt gay? I dont understand and am confussed on whether or not I should still be with him.
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replied October 25th, 2011
Community Volunteer
Hi jade321 and welcome to ehealth: The fact that he likes gay porn means nothing...Many women love to watch women too...This does not make us gay....Also many women have sexually experimented with women and this does not make them lesbians...

IMO, if you love him, then stay with him...Hopefully in time and from your sexual experiences with him, you will be able to answer this question...Take care...

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replied October 31st, 2011
I have to disagree. I have Gay friends and a former Gay roommate who would all agree with me: if it walks like a duck and talks like a duck, it's usually a duck. No straight male is into Gay porn. That makes no sense.
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replied November 4th, 2011
Experienced User
Giving another man's opinion I would tend to agree with Afriend72. He could be bi sexual. I certainly dont mean that is bad, since he could still be a wonderful boyfriend and future husband if you are ok with it.
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replied December 9th, 2011
Is your b/f getting therapy for his porn addiction? Are you OK with being with someone who is addicted to porn? Would you marry someone who is an alcoholic?

Do yourself a favour and get some info on porn addiction and the consequences it holds - not only for the individual, but also for his partner and their relationship. You could google the words "Porn addiction" and also read a book titled "The Porn Trap" excellent book on the subject by Wendy Maltz and Larry Maltz. You could also read Pamela Paul's book "Pornified".

To break an addiction to porn is very, very hard and could take years! People who are addicted to porn are very often not open and honest with their partners about their you wouldn't really know exactly how bad his problem is.

In my opinion you shouldn't marry this guy until you know for SURE his problem with porn is solved.

Are you OK with the fact that he's been with other men? Is this what you want for your future? How sure are you that he is not going to continue in his old ways?

I'm sorry..but sometimes it is necessary to be cruel to be kind. This person is going to cause you a lot of pain and sorrow.There is also a health risk involved for you if he doesn't practice safe sex when he is with another man!

My husband has been into porn for many years. Please..don't do this to yourself! Porn wrecks relationships and marriages.

Take care!

PS: My husband never watched gay porn in all those years when he was into porn. IMO your b/f has a problem and it's going to affect your relationship with him (sexually as well as emotionally)in a very negative way. Please get professional advice if you are not sure what to do.
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