I would like to confront my boyfriend about being abusive, but sometimes I doubt that what he does actually constitutes abuse. We have been together for about a year. In the past, I have been emotionally abusive toward him, manipulating him and degrading his body (even the most important part) in order to push him away. We broke up for 4 months and since then I have realized my ultimate stupidity and repented my ways, he has even said so himself. But it seems since then, he wants to punish me. Even after I have stopped being abusive, in fits of rage he has called me very hurtful names and repeatedly calls me stupid and tells me that I am just some girl he is sleeping with. He will deny that he feels that way later and tell me that he loves me after he has had a moment to cool down. He pushed me down once and has admitted to kissing another girl during our hard times, but promises he won't do either again even though he has a solid history of cheating on his past girlfriends. I have done stupid things in the past, so sometimes I feel like I deserve these reactions. For example, I have in the past been a ditz and forgot to introduce him in social situations. This has really hurt his feelings. The last time I spaced out and forgot to introduce him, he threatened me and told me that when I meet his friends and his family, he will purposefully not introduce me to show me how it feels. That is very hurtful as well, but sometimes I think I deserve it to learn my lesson. Am I crazy?
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replied September 18th, 2010
Community Volunteer
Hi Penelope89,

Both of you cut your losses and depart ways. He has told you in so many ways he doesn't love, respect or want you. The only reason he allows you to hang around is for sex. At what point will the "light" come on? If you think you deserve this kind of abuse then that is exactly what you will continue to get, not only in this relationship, but in any furture ones you may find yourself in. Look in the mirror and say, "I'm not perfect but I am important, therefore, I deserve respect."

Good Luck,

Faded Rose
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replied January 27th, 2011
nooo u doont deserve to be treated like crap no matter how many silly mistakes uve done ,,and once a cheat always a cheat if u think its right for him to do this cuz of the past its not playing games isnt going to get your realationship anywer ,,you need trust respect and to be happy so if nither of u want to lose each other u really need to sort this mess owt xx
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