Medical Questions > Mental Health > Bipolar Relationships Forum

Is it possible to be in relationship with somebody who's bipolar

Hi, I am a 38 year old male who is bipolar I. Every relationship I have been in has eventually ended because of my symptoms. I have been on meds for years, but they never take the symptoms totally away. Last year the love of my life left me because of my disorder. We had been together 4 years and I had told her from the start that I was bipolar. She did lots of research on the subject and understood my symptoms and the fact that I had little control over them.When she left she said that she could not handle me anymore. Since then I have become increasingly depressed to the point that I am barley able to function anymore. I have been in several multi-year relationships but they always fall apart because of my disorder. Is it possible for a relationship to last for me? I feel like just giving up on life because I can not handle anymore loss.
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replied July 17th, 2012
Well what are you doing exactly? Are you seeing other women while being with them? If so? Then you are destroying them slowly. Most will not except that. Are you always leaving and then coming back? Eventually people get fed up with that and can't take it anymore.
Are you taking the right medication now? Are you calm? Mad? Depressed? Are you seeing a psychiatrist?
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replied July 19th, 2012
BP BF in hiding...
Rbarr.I have the same question. I am not the one bipolar, my absentee boyfriend is. We have been together 5 years. We are both in our late 40s. The first 2.5 years were awesome. A few minor problems, but for the most part the best years of my life. Then May of 2010 everything came crashing down. I got a text one evening out of the blue that stated, he could no longer do this, he was no longer in love with me. It broke my heart. I had no idea where this was coming from. Ever since then, we have been estranged. His behavior towards me is wishy washy, for a couple days he is so in love, then he backs off, texts mean things and I don't see him for awhile. When it first started I was so shocked and tried so hard to communicate with him. He wouldn't answer my calls or texts. Although he claims to be ADHD, I suspect bipolar. Who really knows for sure, just a hunch. Anyway to make a long story short, things have been rough ever since. My deliema is whether to hang in or stop all contact and move on with my life. We had big plans for the weekend (this happens a lot) and he ruined them yet again with one of his moods. Saturday started beautifully, movies and lunch. He came over for dinner and then we went out to listen to some music. The chit hit the fan and he was again in another bad mood. Of course it was all my fault. He dropped me off at my place and sped off. I haven't heard from him since. I phoned him once and text him once just to say hello and hope he was fine. I got no response. Rbarr, what is this? We don't talk about salvaging our relationship and he seems to be fine with the way things are. I am lonely and depressed. He can be such a decent loving man, but that guy is fading away. Is there any chance he'll return? Should I give up? I am not bashing bp people. I'd like to understand. If this is the life I have in store, I need to end it before it destroys me too. It is so very sad. Rbarr, I think you can have a relationship with someone if you stay on top of your illness. I know my bf loves me, but his bipolar has taken over and is running the show. I only see glimpses of the man he used to be.
How did you behave in your relationships? Does my scenerio sound like what you did?
I wish the best for you and hope you find stability and someone to love.
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replied July 19th, 2012
It's amazing how it usually does happen around April, may to August. Looking back at her emails I notice the patern now. She wasn't this bad though the first 3 years. I guess she was Hippo-manic and now full blown manic depression. Off meds did all of this, but it was her choice. Hopefully your man can wake up one day and try medication. I doubt he's taking it every day, sleeping early, not drinking or doing drugs... I notice it's usually worst for guys, they enjoy being manic more then woman I think. Eventually when the women realize they are not ok, they get help but only if they were diagnosed.
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replied November 7th, 2012
Need some advice about Bipolar 2 in a relationship
Hi Oasis ,

I'm obviously on this site for a reason. Here is the deal I broke up w my boyfriend about 2 months ago. My Grandma was dieing, at the beginning my bf he was totally there for me. But when his job got so demanding and beyond stressful. He started closing himself off. He told me he was bipolar 2 so if was my choice from the start to be in a relationship. He was seriously the most even keeled person. He was responsible didn't drink,smoke or do drugs. Took his meds on a regular basis, you would never know he was BP, but I noticed when stress came of his job. He was really easily irritated and set off easily. We never got to talk what he's feeling if and when he is having an episode ,I seriously believed he had it under control. I lost my Grandma and he wasn't there for me at all, he told me he had so much going on his life and he's got to be selfish. It broke my heart as you can imagaine. In anger and hurt I broke up with him. He has contacted me told me hes getting a more stable and reasonable hour job now. He doesn't know how I feel but he's hoping we can be in each other lives. He also sends his condolences to me and my family.. I love him so much and trusted him. The thing is I'm hurt still and have some reservations of giving him another chance. Will he act like this again under stress? Can he handle difficult times or will he just shut me out again do to him being BP? Like I said he's taking his meds and is very serious to getting good rest,exercising and eating right. We have so many things in common and see life very similarly and our relationship was just easy. I have been in many relationships and I know noone is perfect. Everyone has issues but is this too big to deal with? I need him to be there for me through thick and thin as we have both talked about marriage. Our families have met and his actions showed me this is serious and he never felt this in love before. I can forgive him for not being there when my Grandma passed away. At the same time am I expecting too much when I think under a ton of stress he won't dissappear again? I am Giving myself some time to think how I want to go about this as I have a ton of unanswered questions. Any advice?
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replied November 7th, 2012
He will leave again and again... Especially if he goes off meds or doesn't take any. Trying to help them will make them kick you out of their lives forever. For me, it's been 8 months and no contact, so I'm moving on with my life. 5 wonderful years that most would dream of having to like we never existed. She's obviously still not ok, but that was her choice to go off her medication. I know you care for this person but you deserve someone who can be there for you 100% of the time and there's plenty of people out there. Stress is what causes this and will always come back. I can't tell you what to do, but if he doesn't get help, or at least try to get better then you should leave. Remember if it doesn't make sense to you how he acts half of the time, just tell yourself it's a mental illness... So in the end nothing will make sense. Don't try to help him, or tell him he needs to take meds, cuz that won't work. Good Luck. If you have any more questions don't be afraid to ask.
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