Medical Questions > Relationships > Ending a Relationship Forum

Is he taking advantage of me? Or am I being illogical?

I don't even know where to start. My boyfriend and I have a 2 year old. It's been real tough since our baby has had a lot of medical issues that the doctors still have not figured out.

He was in graduate school and I work full time. So my boyfriend stays up all night doing projects and he also helps out with the baby. I am working and paying all the bills-- house, food, clothes, daycare etc etc and our baby's gigantic medical bill

I feel real stress out all the time. But I figured I'll just stick it out because my BF is suppose to graduate in May 2009. He's not exactly what I would call a responsible student and he doesn't use his time wisely. I get real mad when I find out he's been playing video games or watching sports when I feel like there's so much for us to do. I pay everything and I don't expect him to get a job while he's in school but he can help out around the house. And I guess he does once in a while but I feel like there's always more he can do... I'm a workaholic and I clean up in a hour what he takes a whole week to do. Not sure if he's just lazy, slow, or knows I will end up doing it.

Well anyways I haven't really been happy in our relationship. He ended up not graduating. He didn't pass. So now his new date of graduation would be December. Well now its the summer and he's just free. I'm working my full time job, a second contract job on the weekend, and going to school now. I'm so stressed out. He is doing NOTHING b/c my baby is still in daycare that I'm paying for. I have to pay no matter if he goes or not. So my boyfriend is just at home doing nothing all summer long. So I made him a to do list... which he does when he feels like it and real slow at it. I told him one day that it really makes me bad that I come home from school, two jobs, and then there's a bigger mess for me to clean up. If he was a female, people would expect him to take care of a baby, clean the house, and make food! But here I am just wanting him to NOT make a mess and make food or clean up. He doesnt have to watch the baby. I'm PAYING for someone else to do that.

I'm rambling. Let me try to get to the point. My BF decides to go on this "guy trip" for 10 days with his friends. We got in a big fight about it. He claims he told me. He did but I didn't know the date. I don' t mind actually him going on the trip BUT not this week where I am working two jobs and have school!! Like next week, my school and one of the job is done. So if it just wasnt this week, it would be fine. He said his friends already put a down on their beach house etc. So he has to go. I am somehow suppose to do two jobs, go to school, and take my baby from and to daycare each day (BTW school is in a different city... so to drop him off daycare and then go to school, its over an hours drive... and remember I drive back to work after school... and then work my other job at home). O yah and something I didnt mention is that my baby wakes up crying every 3-4 hours at night (this was part of his medical issues). So its real stressful to be on my own and I almost can't stay away at work or school with the lack of sleep. So we get in this big fight about it. Finally I gave up. So he's going.

well since he doesn't work and has no money, he decided to do these "side" jobs with his friend on the weekend. They sold food at a fair. So the last two weekends he went 1.5 hrs drive to another city to do this job so he can get money to go on his guy trip. I was real mad b/c I had to do my contract work on the weekend. So here I am dealing with a baby and doing my contract job at home TO PAY FOR OUR BILLS while he goes to do his side job to get money for his trip. I don't know if I'm wrong but this really pissed me off.

So yesterday, its time for him to go on his trip. His dad promised him some money for his trip since he didnt have enough. Well at the last minute his dad decides not to give him money. His mom didnt even know about the trip so she's going off on how he shouldnt be on a trip when he has a baby and didnt even graduate from school yet, etc. etc. My boyfriend is so mad, so he says hes not going anymore and goes in the other room to "sleep". Well I know he's crying b/c he so wanted to go on this trip. I felt real bad for him so I offered to just give him the money to go. He said hes doesnt think he will. I told him I'm not going to convince him of anything since I didn't want him to go to start with. But I know he's sad. And since I care about him, I offered it. I just felt bad for him like I always do. I got my hopes up thinking he's going to make the choice to not go. In the end, he went.

I guess I can't be mad b/c I offered him the money. I am hurt and disappointed though that he's so selfish. That not only does he know this will cause me stress this week (figuring out how to juggle 4 commitments) but the fact that he can take money from me to have his fun and leave me with the stress. I've been paying for everything... for all three of us to live well... and now I'm paying for his fun with his boys. It's just a slap in the face to me. I just I thought he would make the self-less choice...

I think that maybe its time this relationship ends. I think that he's made it clear to me that he's selfish inconsiderate and will not change. It's just so hard trying to figure out what to do since we have a baby involved that has issues.

Am I being unreasonable? Am I overreacting? Or have I just been letting him take advantage of me too long?
Did you find this post helpful?
Quick Reply