I need advice. My husband is constantly being secretive. I just want to hear from anyone with bipolar to know if I am crazy or being too insecure or is it reasonable that I am concerned about this. There is a lot of background to why I have had trouble trusting him. I won't go into that right now, but I will ask what I am worried about.

My husband hides his cell phone and continually deletes messages as soon as he sends or receives them. It's driving me crazy. I can't argue with him about it, or he will lose it. I worry there is something going on with a woman or something. He gets so mad because he says he doesn't want me to see or hold his phone because I should trust him like it is a moral issue. Then, he makes me feel guilty for not trusting him. I have been hurt over and over again when I did trust him.

I have never had evidence that he has cheated one me with another woman, but I have stumbled upon suggestive emails and messages to other women. He always has a reason and goes off on me for being jealous or over-protective or smothering. It is insane how he can take a situation when I catch him doing something and I end up being the one to apologize for it. I really want to believe that he would never have an affair and cheat on me. But, on the other hand, I do not want to be blinded woman sitting at home loving her husband while he is out doing God-knows-what. He is very distant with me at home hasn't touched or kissed me in 2 months. That makes me worry even more.

Has this ever happened to anyone? Please help and offer any advice, any stories similar to mine, etc.! I am the end of my rope.
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replied November 1st, 2009
Experienced User
There was actually a notice about this on yahoo one day that I read. I don't mean to be the bearer of bad news but it sounds like he is cheating. Any woman/man who loves someone should always be able to give comfort to their significant other to make them feel secure in the relationship. If he's yelling at you over you accusing him of cheating then he might be feeling guilty and is taking it out on you. The biggest sign is that he is not being intimate with you, if your sex life has changed then there is a big problem. Try to catch his phone while he is in the shower, or doing something where he is out of the house, that's how my friend caught her husband cheating. Or, if you really want to catch him, check his cell phone bill, the numbers he's calling should be on there, then if you notice a number that doesn't look familiar you can call it.
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replied November 1st, 2009
Hi, Yeah. Sorry, I agree. My bp husband didn't even try hiding it. I take care of the bills. I don't usually look at the phone numbers on the bill but did this last time and wow! Many, Many calls. Several hours per day. I asked him. His first response was that he needed to get a phone with more hours and yelled at me for calling that number and how many times have I called numbers that he has called. He says, I don't talk to him so he moved on with his life. Come to find out it is an old girlfriend. Isn't the BP life grand!
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replied November 2nd, 2009
bipolar dishonesty and separation
The evasive communication seems to occur as a result of not wanting to hurt the others and also loose them. Its really self protection and it really hurts to be on the receiving end of the lies. I am separated from my bipolar wife, I left because I couldn't take caring for an abusive person who would not life a finger to help with any aspect of life. I still Love my wife deeply and have informed myself about bipolar hoping to return one day soon. I cannot even talk to her now she went from wanting to die becuz we are separated to now not wanting to talk. I know its her illness but still I feel scared.All I can do is take care of my life and let her know she is Loved and hope one day we will reunite. She called me yesterday first time in a month. It was Halloween, I felt happy just to hear from her. This is a hard person to cope with.
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