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In it for all the wrong reasons, can't seem to leave

I have been with my wonderful partner for near on 8 years now. As much as I love spending time with him, I don't think it is in the same way as it once was. What we have feels much more platonic than romantic to me, and not just in the 'we're comfortable with each other' sense. I have no plans to marry him and we never have sex. Last time we made love I instigated it but I had to really force myself to do it. I feel like I stay with him because he is my best friend, he takes care of me, he supports me (emotionally, not financially) and of course, he loves me. But each day we are together I feel guilty knowing that even though I don't want to lose him from my life (which I can assure you would happen if we split up), my feelings aren't the same as his are. I can't pinpoint exactly what happened, maybe I just changed. I was very very young and a much different person than I am now when we started dating. He is exactly the same person (he is much older than me and already knew who he was way before he met me!!) How can I explain this to him without being too awful? Comfortable and happy as I am, I know this can't go on, it's not fair and I need to get the strength to finish it. Sad
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replied February 11th, 2010
really, no answers?? Sad
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replied February 19th, 2010
Time will only make it worse, the longer left the more of a chance you have of loosing not only the relationship but the friendship as well. couples break up, married couples get devorced, you might find it as a surprise that alot of those ex-couples actually stay good friends. a relationship is hard when the two people in that relationship are at different levels of relationship maturaty (not actual maturaty) what i mean is (and i may be wrong) that it sounds like you got into a relationship that you were not fully ready for and he is after something much more or it may be that he feels close to what your feeling all you can do is talk to him let him know how you feel and that he IS your best friend. You never know maybe the two of you will get back together down the track
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replied February 20th, 2010
Extremely eHealthy
You love one another, support each other, you seem to delight in each others company and you work together well as partners. It sounds really good. Are you just concerned that your relationship should be more sexual? Has he expressed concern about the sex? Are you feeling a need for sex but not sexually attracted to him?
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