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im new and need support with anxiety

Hello All,
My name is Alyce and i am 21 and from the UK, i am suffering quite badly right now with my anxiety and struggling to be able to control my panic attacks. i have quite a decent amount of support from my partner but not sure he fully understands. i am trying desperately to see a doctor but its proving quite difficult to get an apointment which is at a good time for me. I went to see a dr before but i was pregnant at the time and they couldnt prescribe me anything.

briefly- i have and had issues as a child, i was a very angry teen- not so much with the drinking or smoking etc, i felt like i wasnt listened to and i had a lot of anger stuck inside. im positive i have issues dating back to my father who left us for a younger model when i was only 5, i dont think my mother coped as well as she thinks and i felt a certain parental responisbility towards my younger siblings. When i was 19 i fell pregnant with my daughter, everything was fine although there were some complications in the pregnancy resulting in an induction of labour. this is really the start of my problems. labour was not progressing well and the baby was in a high mount of distress, so we had to go for a c section, however upon arrival in theatre i was told my partner couldnt come in with me and that i would be under general anaesthetic as the baby needed to be born. i came round and went to recovery and met my beautiful baby. i ended up having a major haemorrhage and loosing 3 litres of blood- went back into theatre not before signing forms of consent for a hyssterectomy, they didnt have to do it in the end but the thought scared me. i had 6 blood transfusions and then was in intensive treatment for a day.

once i was home from the hospital i began to struggle and burst into tears a lot. i was very angry started throwing things smashing things up- just like i did in my teens. i took medical advice and was diagnosed with post natal depression. i eventually saw a psychologist who said considering what i had been through it was no surprise, and he concluded i had post traumatic stress disorder.

my counselling ended in august 2010, and soon after i found out i was pregnant again. i have coped just fine since then and the birth of my second daughter in may 2011 was excellent, apart from some anxiety which with advice from my doctor managed to keep under control (breathing excercises and the like). however, the last 2 or so months i have been really struggling, i also cant stop thinking about my awful birth - which seems stupid- that was december 2009!!

im so sorry for the massive post, i use other forums but i dont think i can get what i need for this fom there. im not even sure this is the right place, and if it isnt i am so sorry, and thanks for reading if you got this far.
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replied November 23rd, 2011
Im New And In Need Of support With Anxiety (Answer)
Hi Alyce, I notice that no-one has responded to your post as yet so thought I would and hopefully be of some help.

My name is Janice, I experienced depression for many years and during that time felt a lot of anger too. In order to deal with it I trained as a therapist and now that I fully understand how our emotions affect us, I want to help those who suffer emotional pain.

You certainly have had so much to deal with in your life and all at such a young age. Being a Mum so young will demand a lot from you too and especially as you are learning to understand your self.

It doesn't really matter what label you give to your feelings, everything you're experiencing is due to your mind not yet having resolved those things that happened to you as a young child and your mind is trying to make some sense of it all (albeit on an unconscious level).

When this happens you over think things and those thoughts trigger a natural response in our brain known as the flight or fight response. The hormones associated with it (adrenalin and cortisol) keep you on 'high alert'. This response is fine when the body can calm down again but when it doesn't we start thinking more worry thoughts which keeps the hormones elevated.

Anger is actually a bi-product of fear and the fear is driven from those worry thoughts that never get resolved (all of course tied up with your life's experiences). Actually talking over and over those things of the past isn't always helpful as it merely triggers the anxiety more!

Of course it's important that you find a place to resolve all that you have had to deal with but a more pro-active approach is to start changing how you think right now. After all you cannot change anything that has already happened but you do have control over your future). Changing old thought patterns is of course easier said than done but you can start by just being aware of the thoughts and observing them. Instead of reacting to those thoughts just be curious about them. Try to focus upon more of the good things in your life such as your children and your partner who sounds wonderfully supportive.

He will find it difficult to understand what is happening without background knowledge of how our mind works.

One thing that will start to help you right away is to try to do things that calm you. Listen to some peaceful music, a good hypnosis audio, some massage therapy. Attract some laughter into your life, it's wonderfully healing and therapeutic.

If you start to feel panic rising stop what you are doing sit down and breath! Breathe out for longer than you breathe in - so count to 3 for the in-breath and count to 6 or 7 for the out breath. As you breathe out repeat the words 'I am calmer now' or similar.

These are just some tiny steps you can take to start to feel better. Let me know how you get on with them.

You will get better, even though it may not feel like it just now, but everything changes with time.
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