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i want to know if feeling this bad about myself is normal

Ever since I was 8 I've always felt extremely ugly and less then everyone else around me. Currently I am 16 and still feel the same way and I wonder if I'll always think like this. I'm so disguisted with the way I look and feel that I'm being homeschooled just so I won't have to deal with people's judgement as well as mine. I know I seem ludicrous but I just want to know if feeling this bad about myself is normal and will it ever change?
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First Helper verne01
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replied November 17th, 2012
Extremely eHealthy
Hello,

I think the first question has to be is there any justification for you feeling ugly?

Lots of people of all ages "feel" unattractive for all sorts of reasons even though few of them actually are. Strangely, lots of people who really are unattractive tend to be more enlightened about themselves and their physical appearance doesn't bother them much - they know fashion and popularity are merely unimportant passing fancies in the lives of others and they are happier to be judged on the merits of personality, humour and abilities...

I feel your biggest problem is you have yet to discover who you are - because homeschooling deprives you of the competitive world of contact with your peers you haven't had the chance to build your character in the way others do - by sharpening your brain and your wits on others in your age/social group and discovering first hand your strengths and weaknesses and building defences and compensations...

I think feeling bad about yourself has more to do with your fears and doubts about how you would fare in the wide world outside and how others will accept and relate to you than anything you see in the mirror?

At 16 you are probably still having your brain rewired by mother nature. The process is part of puberty which isn't only about breasts, pubic hair, periods and developing strange bodily odours - it is also about changing the thought processes from those of childhood into those of an adult.
I can assure you what you feel is real but the reasons you feel that way are probably false.

In a couple of years you will be better equipped to see yourself more clearly and to analyse your character and to compare yourself with others and hopefully become both enlightened about who you are and accepting of the fact.
Good friends are an invaluable aid to that sort of enlightenment.

I strongly suggest you obtain a copy of a short verse called Desiderata. It contains more wisdom than can be found anywhere.
It has been a great help and reassurance to countless others and I hope you it will also help you accept who you are when you eventually find out.

Good luck and don't hesitate to come back again if you need more reassurance...
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