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I think I may have ADHD/ADD... Can anyone give me some advice?

I'm not sure where to post this as I've just made an account but I'd be grateful if someone could give me some advice!!

Okay so I'm a 19 year old female, currently studying at college (UK) and I think I may have ADHD-PI/ADD.
I've done some research and discovered that a lot of girls go undiagnosed because they lack the hyperactivity that is usually found when dealing with people with ADHD.

My reasons for this being:
(I'm not very good at explaining myself so bare with me, please!)

I'm sorry if I go off topic at all...

1. I find it very difficult to concentrate on one thing for longer than say 2-5 minutes - I often have homework that would normally take someone 30 mins - 1 hr to do , yet takes me atleast 3-4 hrs as I'm pretty much distracted by anything and everything, OR I leave it til last minute and ask my friends if they can give me some help. In class, I'm quick to get distracted and I often start talking to other people about the most pointless things which then they and my teacher get annoyed.. Even looking out a window is enough to distract me.

2. I'm constantly tapping/slapping my hands or clapping. I'm always doing something, when I'm eating or sitting at a table I catch myself 'wiggling' and my lecturer in one of my classes is constantly asking me to stop tapping my foot against my chair, loosly waving my pen around or clicking the top of my pens. A lot of people find it annoying, yet I'm usually unaware that I'm doing it until someone makes a point of telling me. I always seem to be clapping/tapping in a sort of rhythm. I also get like a weird "excited" feeling which is like a urge to rub my hands together and my heart then beats faster as a result, and feel kind of stiff.

3. A lot of people tell me that I talk so fast and enthusiastically that it stresses them out or they misunderstand me, and they often pick up and tell me that i'm interrupting them, even though I don't mean to do this! And I go off topic and then back and forth too without meaning to. Sometimes, when I'm speaking, my words or sentences come out wrong, or I have to stop in the middle of my sentences and think again what word I'm trying to say, even though I know it in a sentence in my head (sorry if that makes no sense...) and I stutter quite a lot, however, some people say they don't notice, but I often do and get slightly embarrassed.
I look both ways at road crossings but sometimes I just walk or try to run across before the cars come and my friends often joke about how "daring" I am or that one day I'm gonna get knocked over lol.

4. I struggle to understand basic things in class. - No matter how much I enjoy the class, I struggle to take pretty much everything in completely unless it's repeated numerous times. I'm quite slow with my writing and usually last to finish and then my teacher and the class have to wait longer.
But I literally cannot seem to grasp anything straight away. I've had problems with Mathematics for as long as I can remember, I'm not stupid and I'm not "lazy", I mentally cannot do maths. I ended up getting a G in my Maths GCSE exam and I was often teased since about the age of 7/8 until I left school (even my year 10/11 maths teacher made fun of me..) I'm still wary when it comes to telling analogue time, clocks confuse me, and I have a really bad perception of how long tasks will take. I often set an alarm on my phone, and debate which time is best and then underestimate how much time I have, then having to miss out things i'd planned to do.. I discussed this with one of my old school teachers and she suggested that maybe I suffered from Dyscalculia but when mentioned to my mother she just said something like "Oh, maybe." and said nothing of it, and didn't really seem to care.
It's not only maths though, it's every subject, but some I find easier than others.
(I also played violin for around 4 years and at the end of it, I still couldn't read music notes and could only play very basic music...and I used to pretend I was playing when in a concert and held my strings so nobody noticed)

5. I'm always tired, and by 7pm, i'm usually yawning non-stop. (I read it's common for ADD sufferers to feel fatigued)
When I was about 14 I got tested for anaemia because I was so tired and it came back negative, wasn't diabetes etc..
I cannot watch a film without falling asleep.. ughhh and books are so boring I just cannot concentrate at all! I read like half a page, to one whole page and then get distracted or bored.

6. I avoid mental effort and I'm petrified of being asked questions in class as I feel under pressure when asked questions on the spot. I mentally cannot do it!
I always put off things like studying because no matter how much I try do it, I fail anyway..and it just puts me off then. I feel really stupid. Like a failure.

7. I forget little things, like if i've locked the door, where i've put my keys (occaisonally). I just recently lost my college bus pass, and I literally panicked! I searched and moved through like everything and after about 15 minute of wracking my brain to remember where I left it, I simply just remembered "Oh, it's probably in the pocket of my shorts" and there it was (sigh) also, if people tell me things I often forget, or I forget what I'm about to do and therefore don't do it or wait for it to come back to me. My sociology lecturer was helping me with my key skills a few weeks ago, and she was dictating a sentence to me, and I litterally forgot most of it within 30 seconds, and she got annoyed.. I was so embarrased but I couldn't help it. She said I wasn't listening but I was honestly trying my hardest to remember what she said. She also showed me someone elses work as an example, and as soon as she left the room i'd forgotten, and had to wait for her to come back to show me again...
I always plan to watch a show at 7:30/8 (depending on day) and completely forget until it's like 5 minutes from finishing, and then plan to watch it when it's repeated at 10:30 and forget that too! It's so frustrating

8. I avoid eye contact 99.9% of the time. I'd say i'm only 100% with making eye contact with ONE person I know, maybe SOME family too. But only one person outside of family. I don't know why and I'm worried people may think i'm being rude but I just don't do it on perpous, and when I try, I feel as though they may think I'm staring at them. I'm a little social, but not very, a lot of people think I'm weird but I don't know why. People that I'm am pretty friendly with think i'm really funny, but I don't see it myself. I think I may have a slight social anxiety too, I'm terrified of talking on the phone, I don't like to answer calls to people I don't know and sometimes even when I know them I don't answer because I feel so uncomfortable talking..

9. I don't like change, it really makes me feel anxious. If a layout in a shop i'm used to has changed, I'll leave because it stresses me out. Or if a timetable for my bus changes I'll panic because it's different than what i'm used to. It just frustrates me.

10. My emotions are everywhere! I don't know if this is hormones or what, probably but might be worth mentioning. - I get annoyed at the smallest things, people telling me that they're gonna be late is one example, like it's stupid, and if someone has moved something I get annoyed. I'm very emotional and feel judged easily, I get angry at stupid stuff, or I get upset over stupid stuff. I feel depressed sometimes but don't really feel like I have reason too.. I'm pretty clingy too and can often feel jealous over pretty much nothing
I feel really guilty about stuff when I get angry, and I'm aware of it, but at the same time I don't know how to stop being angry/upset/frustrated and then I feel angry at myself and more guilty for taking it out on someone, and then I just feel so guilty that I get upset and a depressed feeling.. Also, If I argue with my other half I often feel so angry at myself that I feel I should be punished. I've cut myself in the past, which I see now was the wrong thing to do. I promised my other half I wouldn't do it, and I haven't - but I feel so angry that I think someone else should hurt me or I should punish myself, but I'm really, really terrified of veins and stuff that I'd never cut myself again (It was never on my wrist or anywhere like that) but I just feel like I should somehow be punished by someone or myself, however, I just sit there angry and crying and find it hard to calm myself down.

11. Mixed handed - I write with my left, and do mostly everything that I can think of with my right hand. Maybe one or two things I do with my left but mostly right handed. I heard that's a factor but I'm not too sure.

12. I'm so un-organised... my room is always a mess. I try hard to keep it tidy but always fail and I just give up! And I always plan to keep my school work organised in a file yet that never happens and then I'm in a constant fluster! ARGH

13. I feel pretty OCD with some stuff - Like, my bedsheets! If I see it come loose it just HAS to be fixed back so I can't see the mattress. It grills me so much and I feel anxious if I don't sort it out. And when I lock the door, I panic i've forgotten it, every time (my friend says its OCD but I don't think so, but mentioning incase!) and my TV has to be at a certain angle or it's "not right". I'm really fussy and I don't like to eat things I'm unfamiliar with, I'm not very adventurous and I don't like spicy food so I won't try different things. I just seem to "know" that I don't like them without trying. (I read that many are fussy eaters with ADHD but could be wrong)
I also bite my nails, and pull my hair out. I have a minor bald patch around my parting from when I pull my hair out. When I was about 8, I used to pull my eyelashes out, but I got caught after I had gaps in my top eyelashes then I switched to pulling my hair! I used to chew my hair too but stopped after I read about a little girl got some sort of hairball. :/

I don't know if this is relevant but it's quite embarrassing but for as long as I can remember i've sometimes pretended that I'm someone else, and that there are imaginary people around me (I still do this :/) but at the same time I AM AWARE that i'm doing it... but I read that people with ADHD have very active imaginations.

I'm also not sure whether it's worth mentioning but I was a twin - My twin died in the womb so I'm unable to provide information as to if it was identical to me!

I can't remember everything that I have to put in here.. there could be more, I'm not sure.
If I remember I'll add it!

I don't know whether I should go to the doctors about this. I'm embarrassed because of my age and it's usually a childhood thing. If it is ADHD, how could someone miss such obvious signs?

My parent's were often pre-occupied worring about or looking after my brother (he has a heart condition) and I hate to say this, but they often overlooked stuff when it came to my health as well as my other brothers too. I suffered seziures (luckily both times in medical workplaces) and a doctor once told my mother that they should take me for an epilepsy test but my parent's thought it was stupid and that I didn't have epilepsy so they never took me.
They also thought I was lazy in school and didn't really try to help me as much as I'd like to hope :-/

I feel like it's my fault that i'm bad at school/college but it's like I KNOW that something is not right. Just one of those "when you know, you know" type feelings, I want to go to the doctors but I'm scared that I won't be taken serious because my parent's didn't take me seriously and because of my age.

Any advice?
(p.s sorry for the long description)
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replied December 25th, 2018
Thank you for asking at Ehealth forum!

I read your question and i understand your concern. you need a complete psychiatric evaluation. Some obsessive patterns and depressive illness is noted in your history. Work up for thyroid and other hormones is needed too. Need complete clinical correlation to find out the possible cause for it.

I hope it helps. Stay in touch with your healthcare provider for further guidance as our answers are just for education and counselling purposes and cannot be an alternative to actual visit to a doctor.
Take care
Khan
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