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I Really Am In Need Of Some Help, My Mom Is Bipolar and Im 16

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hi, my name is kailey and my mom is going through bi polar disease. My mom just got diagnosed with bipolar a couple months ago... and since she found out my life has drastically changed.. now im only 16 years old so this is all very new to me, i always thought my mom was normal, up until a couple weeks before she was diagnosed! she was lying to my family and talking to men on websites... i always got angry at her for this, but she always told me it was just a old friend. One day a Iron Maiden concert was in Montreal and i asked if i could go .. now normally my mom would say no but this time she didnt i thought it was awesome at the time but the only reason she wanted to go was to see this guy she was talking to on the internet for a while... weeks later my mom told me her and my dad were finished of course i was very upset by this, i puked while i was at school just thinking about it. later that day my mom told me that she cheated on my dad... i hated her i hated everything i just wanted to leave and never look back but i couldn't do that, i had to suffer through the negativity in my household involving my mothers depression. My mom is depressed so she gets a lot of attention leaing me and my brothers with almost none all my mom and dad talk about is how they love each otehr... if my mo is hurting my dad comforts her if me or my brothers are hurting they tell us to suck it up and that my mom is more important right now... its hurtfull. Now June 28th 2010... life is pretty hard i am a teenager and i have to watch everything i do in order to keep my mother happy so i don't get in trouble. i watch around everything i do so that nobody is effected by my actions. and lately i haven't been able to take it.. i dont know what im going to do im feeling rather depressed lately... i know this is silly but i just needed to get it out maybe others can relate you know? sorry this was a waste of time... just help me
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replied June 28th, 2010
HI Kailey,

I am a littled confused, your Mom and Dad are still together? Does your Dad know that your Mom cheated. Bi-polar disorder is a chemical imbalance of the brain. When someones suffers from this they will get severely depressed, for no specific reason. When they have a manic episode they will do many things that are inappropriate, sometimes they will become extremely agitated for know reason, they may become overly happy, go on spending sprees, feel like they are invincalbe. It is a good thing your Mom was finally diagnosed, once she is on the right medications, she will be a better Mother. I dont know if in the past you noticed that she had a lot of mood swings. Like one week she was really happy, the next week angry at everything. If you grew up with this than you really dont no what normal is. Your Dad loves your Mom, she is weak right now, and that is why he is focusing all his attention on her. Try to look at it this way if you had to take care of 3 puppies, one was very tiny and weak and sick, which one would you pay the most attention too. I think you should talk to your Dad, when he is ready to listen and tell him that you feel like you are being ignored and it makes you feel really sad. If you dont feel comfortable doing that write him a letter, express yourself, dont put anyone down, just let him know how you feel. I have bi-polar disorder so I understand how it makes a person feel. This is probably why your Mom made such a poor choice when she cheated on your Dad. It is not your fault at all that your Mom is depressed, hopefully with the proper meds she will start to feel better. It is unfair that you have to walk on eggshells because of this. I dont think you are being silly at all. I was a middle child, so I always got ignored. My older sister had a mental illness, my babysister was born deaf so it was natural for my parents to help the weaker siblings and I was left dangling. You need to go out with your friends and have fun if you are allowed. Your Dad probably thinks that your Mom is fragile and no one should cause her any stress. In a way she is, try not to do anything to upset her, stay away from her as much as possible, but if you can, let her know you love her, it may help her with her depression. Just if you can try to have fun with your friends this summer. If you have chores to do, get them done in the morning and then go out and have fun. Let your parents work on that situation. Okay
Just remember your Mom needs to adjust to the medication they are giving her. The sad part is it may take awhile before her doctors can find the right ones. Things will get better, just be patient. Maybe you should google bi-polar disorder and learn as much as you can about it. At least you will beable to understand more about it.

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replied July 14th, 2010
I'm 19, my dad has been bipolar for as long as i can remember, he says and does a lot of things when he is in an episode that he normally wouldn't. When he is in an episode I also have to tiptoe around him, I just wanted to let you know you're not alone and i can understand completely what you are going through. If you need someone to talk to about anything write me. Just remember your mom does love you, she's trying her best, but her brain isn't working the same as everyone else's, although she thinks it is. Not everything she says is truth and sometimes you will get too much truth, beleive me, I do know. I don't know if she's on medication but that helps my dad, as long as he takes it. I hope things get better for you but she will always have ups and downs, resulting in you having ups and downs, or at least thats been my experience/
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replied September 19th, 2010
Bi-polar disease
hi. can you please tell me something ? I don't know if it is bi-polar disease, but maybe you could help me out with, my mom...she is always angry, always negative, watching TV sooo much, not heart to heart talking....I am 27 now, and my sister is 32 we both are living with mom, my father died when I was 7, heart disease...ever since she lived only with us. she used to have moments of clearly when you could talk to her, she was so sweet and nice and after, just like that, very nervous, negative, angry, yelling, calling us names....very ugly ones. Me and my sister we are good daughters, we never caused her problems. My sister she runs her own business and me I am employed in a big company, working as director...we always succeed everything...why is she like that ? and she always has and had an obsession about drugs...whenever we were laughing or she saw someone a friend of us laughing first question is: is he/ are you drugged ? another obsession is about persons that wants to still her house papers...from times she searches all the papers and if she doesn't find one, she comes calling us all kinds of names, accusing us of stealing them....she never liked our bf-s...never...whatever if he's blonde or dark hair, she says it is gypsy...very rarely lately are moments when she is like waking up from a bad dream...but lately is very very rarely...the problem is it is very hard to live with her in the same house. All relatives stopped searching her because she got fight with all of them, she always says all people around us are bad ones, no one cares, they want to damage us ( but in fact she is the only one doing it ). we tried talking to her, but she just can'not see or understand it. it is impossible that we rationally explain things to her...I am afraid that when she is like this, so gone away, she could do whatever...she could grab a knife and throw it in us or something...she just doesn't seem to care if she hurts us. I love the image of her that I still have and will always keep in my heart...but she is transformed in a monster now...I don't know her anymore...not me, not my sister...please, tell this bi-polar disease ?
thank you,
God Bless you.
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replied October 5th, 2010
Take care of yourself
I am so sorry to hear this. I am 39 years old and my bi-polar mother lives with us (my husband and my two kids). I can relate to how you feel as a teenager - I remember those days and how my dad always told us that my mom was normal and that my sister and I were to emotional and would put the blame of my moms emotional ups and downs on us. It is so hard on you especially if you are the oldest and the burden is put on you to fill in the gaps of your mother. I don't know if its at all possible, but trying to see a therapist (so that YOU can get support through this) would be my best suggestion.
Another one is to do your best to emotionally distance yourself from her. The past 2 years I have worked on this and although it does'nt make it perfect, at least it will allow you to survive till you are older and move out.
Good Luck!! I will be thinking of you as YOU go through this.
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replied October 5th, 2011
My mum has Bipolar Disorder.
My mum suffers from Bi-polar disorder. She first got diagnosed when I was 10 years old, a couple of years after my parents got divorced. Due to her suffering from Bipolar I have been moved around a lot, started many different schools but each year she slips back into an episode and it as if we can't do anything to prevent it. I am now 17 and she is currently having an episode. This time I am finding it really hard as I am in the last year of my ALevels and having to balance worrying about her and getting my work in on time, its a real struggle. This time feels like the hardest because my sister has moved out so it is just me and my step-dad and my mum is frantically spending her money as she suffers from Hyper Mania. When we tell her she can't have something she goes mad and starts swearing and says horrible things. The hard part is, is that I have to remember that it is not her talking, its the illness and no matter what happens she is my mum. Each time she comes out of an episode and psychosis I have to forgive her for everything but sometimes I can't forgive her for everything. I hope someone can relate to this.
Thank you.
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replied October 8th, 2012
I'm 41 years old and for the last 10 years my mother has just about put me and my sister over the edge. My father divorced her 10 years ago and since then its been a downhill journey. No matter how much we try to help her, it always turns around that we are the blame for anything that goes wrong or that we don't do enough. We have tried to move her into apartments where she will be around people thinking that would help, after a few days she will go behind our back and withdraw the applications telling them that me and my sister are trying to make her sale her house. I am at the point that I am done, I can't help her and I am so fustrated that I don't even want to have contact with her. She draws things up in her head and tells people that we don't want to help her, that we don't do anything for her, that we never visit, I hold down a 40 hour week job, I have a family and children and a grandchild that needs me too and I can't deal with her outbreaks anymore. I am just so done. Does anyone else feel this way? Is it wrong for me to feel this way? Do I need to seek counseling also? I am just so discouraged with the entire situation. And what do you do when they can no longer help themselves? she needs around the clock care, where do you go from here?
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