I guess this is not unusual but it can`t be that normal to think this way.
I`ve had 2 serious relationships and both of my exes treated me with respect and never hurt me in anyway and even though i loved them both, i got bored.
After my last bf i started dating a guy named *Adam and he was horrible.
Called me a stupid w***e etc etc and at times i got so angry and sad i slapped his face in public and sometimes he used to wait outside my house when i got home after a night out. This was like 2 years ago.
But after that i realised i need (as they say in Buffy The Vampire Slayer)"a monster in my man" otherwise i get bored.
I recently started dating someone new and i really like him but he has asked me several times if i want a black eye and if he starts beating me, he wouldn`t know when to stop.
So far he has "only" pushed me and giving me light slaps and he has said if i would cheat he would stab me and the other guy.
But then he says he`s only joking and that he would never hit me.
I know it`s wrong for a man to treat his girlfriend this way but for some reason it excites me. I like the thought of someone being "obsessed" with me.

Could i feel like this because i was bullied from the age of 8 til about 16 (I`m 29 now)and i still get a bit surprised when someone fancy me (it happens a lot these days).
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replied October 6th, 2013
Extremely eHealthy
Being bullied could very well be the reason or part of the reason why you are adjusted differently to the norm, though it is possible you have a natural tendency towards a certain amount of masochism.

Different strokes for different folks as they say...

I knew a woman who found traditional good manners from men boring and needed passionate rows or arguments to keep her interested.
She divorced her first husband because the abuse got really out of control and eventually, years later, he committed suicide. After that she had a string of unsatisfactory affairs until she finally grew out of the need to be dominated.

People rarely say or do anything they don't mean; they might not mean it before or after the incident but at the time they generally mean what they say and intend what they do.
When a person, such as you, feels they need high emotions to keep them interested instead of the usual calm good manners and consideration and respect it is difficult to keep things in perspective and exert any control.

How do you get the excitement and yet prevent things going too far?
The difference in time and emotion between being threatened and being dead on the floor or badly injured is only a heartbeat or two.

From your description it doesn't sound as though you have found your ideal man yet and I advise you to be very wary around this one. He sounds rather worse than "differently adjusted".

Good luck!
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