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I may have really messed this one up

Ok so this starts with girl A we meet online go on a couple dates. Girl A has a job that has her out of town a lot and tells me this early on. I felt and still do that the attraction and common interests we have were worth trying to work around her schedule. So we go out for about 3 months and then things stopped sort of abruptly. I assume we are over a look for someone else, which will be girl B. We email for a month then go out, its at that point things go into high gear we couldn't leave each other alone. It seemed like we had even more in common then what i had with girl A. I mean heres where it gets messed up you see I was a virgin till my fourth date with girl B who wasn't but had only been with one other guy about 4 times prior. The other guy was gone and that was why she was looking for me. Well anyways me and girl B slept together on our 4th date which was not what either of us expected. We don't drink or do drugs so what happened was while we were of sound minds. Well at least I think she didn't expect it, I mean talking to her I saw a lot of my personality characteristics and seeing that I was a virgin till 29 and she was 28 it all made sense. Well to add to all this chaos and confusion girl A calls me the day after and we talk and decide to try again. I don't know why but I felt that girl B was going to be gone soon at that point. Well instead girl B kept me around while I was seeing girl A and eventually I drifted away from girl A for girl B. I felt that we had more in common, plus we still couldn't leave each other alone. Well after about a month of me seeing girl B only she dumped me, decided she could never love me and didn't know why although she was talking to some other guy at that point apperantly she had been looking the whole time we were together. I was devastated and left, but about a month later I emailed her then called her. We talked and she said she might want to try again but her ex came back. Now her ex mind you would vanish for weeks at a time the first time they were together and then eventually just left and told her that they need to start seeing other people. I think or logic would inidicate he was messing around on her after 9 months of going out. But whats amazing is she decided to go back to him, the cheater and not me. Well I decieded to call girl A and see what was going on with her. She was happy to hear my voice and I was happy to hear hers.

Whats complicated is that she doesn't want a committed relationship with me because of all the traveling she does. So on the one hand seeing other girls isn't too bad. But since I had sex with her girl B and left girl A for girl B. I feel guility whats making me feel the worst is here is a girl who seems to be willing to work with me. While we don't have as much in common she is still around and doesn't show and for that matter hasn't shown signs of running off with someone else.

So do I tell her about girl B or leave it alone? I do feel that I have obviously screwed up here, and don't want to risk making things worse. Whats still sort of an issue is the traveling but I don't know I mean if we can date when we can at some point, and this is what she has told me, the traveling will end.

Whats really bothering me most is I feel like I was basically just being used by girl B while she was basically waiting for her ex to get his stuff together. I am hurt by their actions and don't want to hurt girl A when what happened was my fault.

I am feeling an even stronger attraction to Girl A right now, the final break up with girl B took place sunday and I called girl A Sunday. She didn't ask me any questions though I think she may know something happened she just talked to me and it helped.

I guess whats attracted me to girl A from the start and this most recent event adds to it, is she doesn't run when things get hard or bad. She does do a really good job of support or like helping. The only other people I know that would do that are my friends the ones I have had for 12+ years, were as I have only known her for 6 months with maybe 2 months of off time in there somewhere. But each time we start talking again things get even stronger with us.

So I don't know if I am going crazy or what to do at this point.
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replied September 16th, 2008
Extremely eHealthy
Kinda confusing from all the A/B girl stuff lol but from what I gather, first of all i would definitely leave girl B alone..it seems to me that she is just using you as sort of a rebound..which is completely unfair...i think that you and girl A should make an effort to work at things, if you have that connection..its worth trying it out...long distance can work out..my boyfriend and i of 2 1/2 years now went 8 months of our relationship long distance...its hard..and it takes work..but i'm just saying, if you both are willing then it can work out...as for telling her about girl B..I wouldn't bring it up unless for some reason she asked..it doesn't seem like at the time you were dating both you were commited to either of them, you were just out dating tryin to see how things work...dont feel guilty, everyone does that until they figure out which girl/guy they wish to be more serious with..it seems like you just sort of made a bad choice in choosing the first time since girl B didn't really respect you at all...so dont feel like you NEED to tell girl A bc from what I gather you two weren't in a committed relationship...but i would definitely give it another chance!
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replied May 22nd, 2009
Supporter
you had a better connection with girl B, but girl B had a better connection with her on-again off-again b/f.

in a way it's not your fault, if your being honest about the story. you didnt do anything wrong. though the next time you hear from girl B i would tell her how you feel.

and maybe things will work out between you and girl A. be honest with yourself, no one knows your needs. can you be okay with dating a girl that's away.
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replied May 29th, 2009
Experienced User
okay bottom line, if you were doing this (and i understand this right) then you cheated too. but you have a really screwed up relationship with both so i suggest either forgetting them both and moving on or you should pick the one that is most stable (sounds like girl a)
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