Thanks, pdemo1. Hearing your situation does help to know I am not alone. When he finally gets home, he always sleeps on the couch now, too. He doesn't speak to me unless it is with texting because he needs something. This started again about Of course, it has been on-again and off-again thing for last 4 years. He is either infatuated with me or hates me (that's how I feel). This epsiode has lasted longer though. I feel like we aren't husband and wife anymore, but just strangers exisitng in the same house.

We have no children, but always used to dream of having a family. I guess it is good there aren't children involved, but that makes it even more serious for me. I am 31 and not getting any younger. I know I want a family, and it is not looking promising here. I honestly don't what to do anymore. I have stood by him through arrests, drug addictions, being committed to psych ward, and more. But, when he is anger, I am the one he hates and blames for EVERYTHING.

It is just so frustrating and makes me feel hopeless sometimes. I seriously, especially this time, contemplate telling him it is over and to leave. I pay all the bills but one, so he would have to be the one to move out. I just don't want to accept that it is over. We started dating in high school and really were happy most of the last 14 years. We veen became the icon name for a happy couple. But, when this disease hit him, it hit like a brick wall. I wish he would just stay on his medication and try to get help! Becuase he thinks nothing is wrong with him, it makes it even more frustrating.

I do love him, but I am drowning here. I talk to no one in our lives because his sickness is a secret. I think that is another reason I am so drained. I spend so much energy trying keep everything a secret for his sake. He would lose it completely if he thought people knew.

Agghhh!!!!
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replied November 2nd, 2009
Experienced User
okay that sucks. first of all I want to thank you for reaching out when this isn't always the easiest way to deal with something.

Bipolar is sad and psycho at the same time. It doesn't really sound to me like he's psycho though from your description. Remember manic isn't happy, it's psycho.

I can't say I blame him for withdrawing in this wild and crazy world. It sounds to me like he needs coping strategies to make him feel good. If the couch works let him cozy up on the couch. It may feel like your in it alone but you can always bring him a blanky or a hot cup of tea or iced tea.

Then if he talks to you by texting let that work. Hes withdrawn but he's still talking to you. He's not heartless just unwell. The best thing for recovery is comfort. He's got you and you help keep him comfortable keep finding things like cut toast with a cookie cutter in the shape of a heart. and write I love you in the mirror after a shower
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