Hi to all that will read,

I'm 35 and alone. Never married, no children and no friends. I have been going every day with out a phone call from anyone to get together for the past 15 years. The only calls that I get are from bill collectors. The reason for the bill collectors you may ask. I frequent asian massage parlors because they seem to be the only women interested in having any form of intimate relationships with me. Yes, I have to pay to have a some one care about me and it's for only an hour. Then it's back out into the world of neglect.

I seem to have an uncanny nack for alienating people. Co-workers aren't interested in talking to me. They aren't interested in hanging out with me and they aren't interested in working with me. Women aren't interested in me either. A good example is that I've been out with 5 different people from work that all seem outgoing and like to have fun. All have shunned me and I do not hear from them at all, even at work. If I should be so lucky as to get married, I don't have anyone to be my best man. I don't have anyone that will even attend other than my small family....I won't have any friends there because I don't have any friends.

I've been told that, and I quote, I "have the most boring personality of anyone I have ever met". I've literally been told that I'm stupid, meek, mild, annoying and a push over. I think it all goes to the point that I don't want to rock the boat because I want people to like me. I try to be nice and pleasent. I'm not funny at all and I know that's how you win friends. Screw what Dale Carnegie tells you, it's freakin' bogus. I say stupid things and do stupid things, that I don't know why I do. Afterwards I realize how stupid I was to say or do those things.

At any rate, I'm just ranting in frustration and I think that I've accepted that I will be alone. I just wish I had friends. Even though I've accepted it, I don't like it and I can't force people to like me....it's just the way it is.
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replied April 29th, 2009
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your family doesn't call you? If you got a women to go out with you on a date that means they like you enough to do that.
i believe there's someone for everyone. is there any other places you go like church. you don't have to be funny to win friends. im silly and i tell jokes that aren't funny. my problem is the opposite i have isolation issues i can be content with not talking to anyone or seeing anyone for a long while.
i honestly think it would be good for you to try to go out more and be around people.
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replied May 30th, 2009
its true you dont have to be funny i kno alot of people who arent funny but are the most popular people in any group. i use my sense of humor becuase its what comes naturally to me and its how i make friends but its not the only way. start watching programs on tv that everyone watches listen to the lastest music, read the newspapers anything that will make a good convo starter. Give advice to people a lot of my friends have been made becuase im easy to talk to and everyone like someone they can talk to about anything.
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replied May 30th, 2009
i personally think Ur to hard on yourself, you should just try to relax, and be secure in yourself, don't worry what other people will think of you , i bet Ur really a cool guy,you dont have to be funny all the time , and when you do meet that special girl, she will think ur perfect just the way you are, i hope you will find some kind of help. like in ur church, or some meetings . but ur not alone, god loves you. good luck sweetie,
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replied May 30th, 2009
Rule #1: Never date people from your job, never. It sounds like you have low self esteem. Do things for you. Take a vacation, travel the world. If you feel happy about yourself, that will outshine and attract people.
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replied May 30th, 2009
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that's also my #1 rule. if it goes bad, one maybe rude enough to talk about your sex life (problems) or your flaws which your co-workers shouldn't know about creating an uncomfortable enviroment.
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replied June 18th, 2009
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you could play around with the dating lines, myspace, facebook, it others i cant mention. put yourself out there. i remember when i was going through a dry patch,and i am very picky when it comes to men. but the three things i just mentioned it gives you a better chance to meet someone. they will respond if they like what they hear or what they see.
get dressed up and go out instead of staying in the house.
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replied November 26th, 2010
Thanks for the thoughts
1. I don't date people at work. I can see how I phrased that may have made it seem that way, but I don't.

2. I'm an atheist, I don't believe in a god or gods or jesus, buddha or what have you. So I won't be going to any church, synagoge or temple any time soon.

3. I do do things for me. But after you go to the movies alone, play golf alone, take vacations alone, go to NYE parties alone and go to concerts alone.....it gets old after a while. I've tried talking to people at those places and I get funny looks or get ignored once they find out that I'm there alone. Which I can understand. It's unfortunate, but I actually understand why they do it.

As far as being funny, I think that it does make a difference and what makes friends. Anyone you're friends with, you laugh and joke with right? I've tried making conversation, but again I'm looked at as being boring. I may be hard on myself but that it because I know how people react and act towards me. I read people well and I'm not someone to sugar coat things. I see them for what they are and realisticaly.

I'm comfortable with where I am and how things are. I appreciate everyone's help and concern but life for me is what it is. As much as I wish it was different, I'm too old now and life is too far developed for things to change.
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replied December 3rd, 2010
i think you just need to learn the "socializing rules". there are courses/programs/therapists and other which help people like you to learn the right way to connect to people.
i have the same problem, i am a woman and i'm pretty good looking. i was always attracting attention of people but never had friends. untill i found out what is my problem i've became a very shy and distant person. if someone starts a conversation with me i can hardly think what to unser unless it's a common question that i know the pattern of a conversation..

i suggest that the next 2 weeks you try talking to people and paying attention to the point where it beccomes odd. try to figure out what is your difficuly. the person is not intersting/ you don't know much about the topic your talking/ why is it hard to keep the conversation/ does it take you lot's of time to think what to say or unser.
if there any fammily or person that you could recieve a honest critisism of your personality...
you know just to get a starting point, whare's the problem, because from then it will be easier to proceed.

you should think of yourself as equal to each and every other you see. try talking in front of mirror/ building more confidence

i suggest you to start some new hobbies which involve group activities if it's sports/ arts/ or any other new envoronment that you will start from zero and make new connections.

women and people in general attract to people who are happy and confident with themselves.

i wish you luck!
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