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I'm in love with someone who has schizophrenia.

Should I break up with the person who i'm in love with because he has schizophrenia?
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I am an 18 year old girl, and my boyfriend is also 18 and was diagnosed with schizophrenia. We have been together since we were 16, so for almost 2 years, and i'm very worried because i know i haven't seen the worst of his schizophrenia. His episodes aren't frequent, but when they do occur they're frightening. He also has ocd, severe depression and is currently going through treatments for papillary thyroid cancer, which only further complicates our situation. There is a great difference between the periods when he takes his medications, and the periods when he doesn't take his medications, but he doesn't think there is. His only incentive to take his medicines is that i've recently told him i will break up with him if he ignores his medication regimen. My dilemma is that I am looking forward to having a career and a family (we talk about those things all the time, and i know he wants the same), but i've been doing a lot of research and most sources say that the odds of someone with schizophrenia living a normal life are slim to none. he went through a span of time when he was secretly not taking his medicine, and now that he has begun taking his medicines again, his old medicine regimen is no longer working, so for the past 4 months it's been a matter of figuring out new medicine combinations that will make him better again. I just feel like i've bitten off more than i can chew, but now that i've become his main source of support, i fear that i've signed myself up for the life-long position of being his support system. I'm in love with who he was when we first started dating, and i continue to stay with him because i have hope that his mental state will return to being healthy, but in the process i've taken on so many responsibilities that i feel like i'm tied down to him for life. i have no idea what to do. Even if i wanted to break up with him and start fresh with different relationship, i have no clue how to break up with him without feeling guilty for leaving him when he is so helpless, and i also fear that he will kill himself (he attempted suicide twice before we had started dating) or become addicted to prescription drugs again (also a problem of his before we started dating). He always tells me how much joy i've brought to his life, and that makes me feel great, but he has no idea how much stress, fear and loneliness he has brought into mine. I need help either knowing how to end our relationship without him killing himself, or how to continue being his girlfriend without going crazy. If we did break up, i care about him so much that i would want to still be a part of his life, but would that be best for him? I understand that the best thing for me, may not be be the best thing for him, which is why i'm so stuck. I always try to do what is best for him, but now i find myself feeling smothered with his problems. I know that he would be the love of my life if he didn't have this disease, but the fact of the matter is that he does. It's not fair that he can't lead a normal life because of it, but i don't see why i shouldn't be able to either. Should i stay with him and deal with the disease or look for someone else?
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First Helper JohnEric
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replied July 25th, 2010
hey.. listen relax.. let me talk to u for a second.

u seem really upset by this, and u should be.

i had a girl friend who i was in love with, and my schizophrenia tore our relationship apart. but wait, theres good news.

listen, im schizophrenic. i kno what its like to be weird and stuff. im sure ur experiencing that with him now and it worries u.

but i recently started a nutritional regimine, that a doctor named Abram Hoffer put together that apparently "cures schizophrenia."

yes this sounds a little crazy. but let me tell u, ive been following the nutritional regimine, and i have to say that it really does work.

i bought this doctors book and red the whole thing in no joke like a week. after reading it i started following the vitamin "therapy" he recomends.

i highly recomend you get his book and help him get better.

It's by Dr. Abram Hoffer. It's called "Healing Schizophrenia: Complementary Vitamin & Drug Treatments."

Honestly, the book has been a God send. Since i started on the vitamins ive just steadily felt better and better. I really think that if you want to not just stay with him, but you really want to see him get better. You'll get that book, learn about schizophrenia. and help him get on the vitamins it recomends.

I'm really sorry you're having so much trouble with him, and i hope it gets better. I hope that book can help the both of you in the same way its helped me to recover.
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replied July 25th, 2010
and if you're going to start giving him the vitamins, i highly recomend you get in touch with me so i can help u put something together.

im no nutritionist or doctor. but i kno a thing or two about vitamins and how they need to be taken.

also check with his doctor to make sure it's ok to take those vitamins.

when i finished reading the book i told my therapist about niacin (the main vitamin for treating schizophrenia) and he said that it can help some ppl. and to go ahead and take it.

i have a few posts on here that i recomend yu check out.

they are ---

90% of schizophrenics better?
hope 4 schizophrenics
niacin and schizophrenia

honestly, since i started on the niacin i almost instantly felt better. i hope that u and ur boy friend can stay together and live a happy life.

i kno u said that its unlikely that a schizophrenic will live a normal life, but thats only true based on "approved" treatments. the treatments they use like drugs and stuff like that dont lead to ppl getting better.

sure it suppresses their symptoms, but only for them to get off their meds and get sick all over again.

i lead a normal life, and im schizophrenic. and ive only been on the vitamin therapy for close to 2 months now, and honestly since the first week i noticed and improvement. and i just keep getting better.

but i kno if it werent for the vitamins i wouldnt be living a normal life.

trust me getting that book will be the best thing u could do for ur bf.

just check out some of the reviews on the book. and search things like "niacin schizophrenia" in any search engine and see what comes up
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replied July 25th, 2010
also check out "masks of madness: the science of healing" on youtube. very interesting documentary.

im telling u ur boy friend can be well.

i just hope he doesn't lose someone special like i did. cuz when i was with my ex she was a big part of me getting well too. but we ended up breaking up because she couldnt stand my constant mood changes and strangeness.

but i kno that if i had been on these vitamins that none of that wouldve happened
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replied July 25th, 2010
Is it just niacin, or did other vitamins help you as well. At this point i will do/buy anything. He's my best friend in the whole world and recently he has been getting worse and worse every day. My biggest fear is that he won't be "himself" ever again. Is it true that the effects of his disease are irreversible?
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replied July 25th, 2010
i'm sorry, did't mean to sound rude, it's just that i've done quite a bit of research, and i know that niacin is not proven to help schizophrenia at all. But i'm all for alternative ways to help, seeing as the medications he's on now aren't doing much.

I'm looking more for advice for what i can do though. Is there anything you wish your girlfriend had done differently? I'm so sorry it didn't work out. It sounds like we have similar stories, i really hope you can help me see this from his perspective. what can i do to help him?
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replied July 25th, 2010
hey its ok u didnt seem rude lol. well yeah its not "proven" by the medical establishment. but theres a lot of reasoning behind that.

and as far as him not being himself again. well lets just say i used to be a really friendly outgoing guy. and after i started developing schizophrenia i became VERY anti social. but once i started on the niacin (and other vitamins, yes the other vitamins did a lot of good u kind of need all of them together) i started feeling like my old self.

im very social again, and im the funny guy i used to be. lol its pretty awesome.

and as far as it not being approved by modern medicine, theres a lot of things that aren't approved by modern medicine simply because theyre vitamins and vitAMins cant be patented and sold as drugs.

for example things like high cholesterol levels and high blood pressure can be greatly reduced by Omega fatty acids, a proper diet, getting adequate sun exposure (you produce Vitamin D from sunlight because cholesterol turns into vitamin d when exposed to sunlight / cholesterol+sun light=vitamin d). but these things aren't patentable.

and believe me when i say that untill they can patent vitamins, which they never will be able to, they wont have ANY interest in nutritional cures for any diseases.

but any way lol. i do take a lot of supplements, but some of the basic ones that this doctor recomends are niacin, vitamin c, and a few others. i kno a thing or 2 about nutrition and can help u "put something together for him."

of course, id have to recomend that you check with his doctor or therapist to make sure its ok to take this stuff. but ive been taking this stuff for a while and i havent had any adverse reactions.

but heres what i take.

1. a multivitamin high in b complex that's timed release.
2. 5 grams of niacin daily, btw i worked my way up to that dose. i started at 125 mg 3x a day. then every day i added 125 mg to one of the doses every day.

so for example i did
125 breakfast, 125 lunch, 125 dinner
then 125 breakfast, 125 lunch, 250 dinner
then 250 breakfast, 125 lunch, 250 dinner
and so on untill i reached a total amount of 1000 mg at each meal.

then after i saw noticable improvement from the niacin i increased it to the same 1000 mg at each meal but added 1000 mg in between breakfast and lunch and in between lunch and dinner.

so u kno. i dont recomend u just go based on what im telling u. when i heard that niacin was effective for schizophrenia, i didnt just start taking it. i bought the book i told u about and red it from front to back. lets just say that dr. Abram Hoffer is like the "god father" of this type of treatment. so u kno he was the first psychiatrist EVER to do a double blind placebo controlled study, which is now the gold standard for testing.

then applied my knowledge on vitamins to it and i guess it was a recipe for success cuz its working for me. i highly recomend u get the book, read it from front to back. after reading it do what it recomends for the vitamins (after checking with the doctor). and then get back to me so i can help u so he doesnt hurt himself by taking isolated vitamins.

ie. vitamins are pretty safe. but you have to take them together. which is why i think the multivitamin which is high in b complex and timed release is essential. simply because taking large amounts of niacin by its self is bad for u. but if u take it with the other b complex vitamins in high amounts. as well as the other vitamins from the multivitamin then u should be alright (tahts what im doing and i just got a physical and everything checked out).

good luck and plzzz dont hesitate to get in touch with me
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replied July 28th, 2010
hey have u gotten the book?
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replied August 6th, 2010
so how are u doing now nutsition4schizophrenia? are u still on meds?
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replied August 7th, 2010
Hi LABSk8s 1st excuse me for my english since it is not my native language...
You have stated that "the odds of someone with schizophrenia living a normal life are slim to none", this information is wrong. Most sources base their information on the old view of schitzophrenia, before the advent of antipsychotic medication. 50 years ago having schitzophrenia would indeed be totaly incapacitating, today it is not the case.
If you want to hear a case please hear mine: I was diagnosed with schitzophrenia well, probable schitzophrenia since I haven't yet had enought episodes to make a final diagnosis (only 2) in January this year(2nd episode). It seems that I have been schitzophrenic since my 1st year in college, 3 years ago. Since then I have lead a perfecly normal life both academicaly and personaly, exept by this years episode, wich has only happened because I stoped taking my medication. This has been possible thanks to the use of antipsycotics, otherwise I would still be runing away from taxis in the streets of Barcelona...
Has a medical student I have done extensive reasearch on the subject and found that nowdays the simptoms of schitzophrenia can be managed to a point were they become residual or disapear at all. Since the disease only progreses if you have it in an active state, the progresion of the disease may also be stopped using antipsycotics, this means that you dont actualy have to see "the worst of his schizophrenia", it may never come!
The main question is always to ensure that schitzophrenics take their medication: many seem to be following a circle in wich they start taking their medication because they feel bad, then they feel better, and stop taking them again because of their side-effects, start feeling crapy again, etc.. So the question is that you ensure that this person that you care about folows treatment acordingly (and stays out of other drugs...).
I dont know how it works in the states but here in europe, to ensure this they sometimes make the patient go every 15 days to a "primary attention center" to get a risperidone shot, so I think a similar process must exist there.
Make sure your boyfriend takes his medication and he may well be the man of your dreams so presuade him to do so, make him understand its importance.

So to answer your question no, you shouldn't leave him, at least not untill you have tried every possible way to ensure that he takes his medication and failed; remember, it's not his fault, this could happen to anyone...

Hope I've helped, good luck
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replied August 8th, 2010
where do u buy your vitamins?
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replied August 8th, 2010
Active User, very eHealthy
Vitamins are no cure for this disease if you even want to call it that, they can make you feel better sure, but are no cure, by the definition of cure anyway.
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replied August 15th, 2010
maybe theyre not a cure. but i mean what really is? theres no magic pill u take and bam its gone. all n e thing thats designed to help schizophrenics does is mask the symptoms

the difference between niacin and meds tho is that niacin is pretty natural, and u actually start feeling like ur old self. b4 u ever had schizophrenia.

im still on meds. part of what this doctor recomends is a special diet in addition to the vitamins. unfortunately right now i cant afford the special diet. so im only on the vitamins. but the vitamins alone r great. i feel awesome.

i highly recomend that n e schizophrenics out there invest the measely 15 dollars itll cost for that book and do someything about their illness.
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replied August 17th, 2010
if u guys wanna see some awesome videos search hoffer schizophrenia in youtube
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replied August 27th, 2010
hey in addition to all the vitamins im taking for my schizophrenia, ive also started eating 5 small meals through out the day, and my mood is a little more stable. i just eat every 2-3 hours. this is supposed to balance your sugar levels which may be unbalanced.

i used to eat 3 big meals, now i eat 5 small ones.

so before for example id have 2 eggs for breakfast w/ 3-4 french toast, a foot long from subway, and chicken, rice n veggies for dinner.

now i break it down, so instead of 2 eggs and 3-4 french toast its just 2 eggs. then for lunch instead of a foot long i eat 6 inches and eat them 2-3 hours apart, and for dinner i eat about the same amount.

so i guess u could say i actually eat 3-4 small meals a day.

also another gr8 book for treating schizophrenia is called "Prescription for Nutritional healing." It has a section in there for schizophrenia. this book plus the one by Dr. Abram Hoffer helped me big time.
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replied July 27th, 2012
Hi,

How are you doing now? Do the vitamins still work after all these months and have you improved, cause I heard that the vitamins (niacin, C, b complex, zink , etc) the longer you take them the more effect they have.

Are you on meds too and if so , how many do you use? I want to get rid of the abilify. I can't wait to start the niacin thing in 2 weeks from now.

take care and thanks for the info/.
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replied March 18th, 2011
This is not my health advice -- just my personal advice... I would break up with him if I were you. It sounds like he needs to become a man -- and a man would have the responsibility to take his medications. A man would also not want to bring you down; a real man would want to lift you up and set you free.

Tell him to follow his medication schedule for a few years.

Break contact with him- for his own good.

Tell him you won't date anyone else for at least one year; to show him that you respect him and the relationship you had.

In three to five years, see how things are going with him.

Seriously, it sounds hard, it sounds silly, but this is the most wise thing you can do at this point for you and him.
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replied July 30th, 2012
You can follow Abram Hoffer's book or you can get your bf a vitamin complex designed for schizophrenia and bipolar. I have schizoaffective disorder which is bipolar mixed with schizophrenia. I was terrible on medications for nearly all my life from the age of 18 to 26. I was not able to work, hostile and paranoid. I didn't hear voices, but i was delusional and made bad decisions. A bipolar friend tried a supplement her brother found for her online and she never had to take pharmaceutical medications again and was off disability and back working. It isn't a cure but it sure beats pharmaceuticals and it lessens all symptoms to nearly zero. I took it when I was 26 and now i'm 37 and i haven't needed to see a psychiatrist or take meds again. There are three companies now that sell this supplement. Studies have been done on them. I pay about 200 a month with my 30% discount for them since i have a low income. They all use a similar formula of vitamins, minerals, and amino acids in safe dosages. They work and they saved my life. I buy from one of these companies.
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replied July 31st, 2012
thanks.

I have checked out A. Hoffer and done research into it by reading cases by other poeple like you. I hear a resonance in the stories and other info I get online. I will try it out next week and let you guys know what happened. NOt sure if I should go the niacin way or niacinamide. I hear better stuff from the niacin people.


thanks
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replied November 20th, 2017
Check out benfotiamine.net
Benfo is lipid soluble B vitamins, that stay in your system up to five times longer than regular water soluble B vitamins. Benfo also has three vectors of protection against damage from diabetes symptoms, because it super-oxygenates your blood. Good stuff. (I use Benfo and pay for it. I get no financial consideration for this comment. I just like how Benfo works.)
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