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I'm depressed and I'm falling in love

My name is Tony and I just turned 18. Me and this girl I've known since my childhood just started dating. The funny thing is, we've known each other for almost 10 years now and acted as best friends for years but the past two years we've gotten a little intimate at times. We waited years to date because we wanted a solid relationship at the start of our adulthood together and hopefully start a family together one day. She is my bestfriend, and our families our very close.

So, 4 days ago I asked her to officially be my girlfriend and without surprise she said yes. Well, I'm falling in love very quickly and I've had pretty severe depression the past two years. I was admitted under the Baker Act for suicidal thoughts once, and then again for a suicide attempt. Today, my depression is not that serious and I'm on a fairly good track. The past couple days I've had all kinds of wild feelings. When I see her I'm on top of the world, but it's like the moment she leaves to go home I feel what seems like a comedown and I feel exhausted. I wake up maybe 8 - 10 times throughout the night with fear, and I'm extremely insecure lately.

My theory: after doing some reading up on a psychology website it comes to my attention that hormones are going wild during the "honeymoon" stage. I keep trying to tell myself that everything is just in my head right now but it doesn't seem to help. I take 5-HTP to level my serotonin levels but it doesn't seem to help. I want to love this girl with all my heart but it feels like my depression is setting up boundaries and making this love almost painful.. But I want it so bad no matter how much it kills me.

Please, doctors, give me some light. Please tell me what I need to exercise with myself to get through this. Are there any OTC supplements I can take with the 5-HTP, such as PEA?
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replied June 30th, 2016
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I'm not medically trained or anything but it sounds like you have seperation anxiety. I mean this girl has been your friend for years and now you have become a couple . You have everything you want and you sound scared in case you lose it.

Have you told your gf about your past ? I think if you were honest she would understand and this may ease your need to be with her. Insecurities are the worst thing you try so desperately not to lose someone and yet your behaviour is the one thing that drives people away.

Please feel free to message me anytime

Take care
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