Medical Questions > Mental Health > Depression Forum

I just dont know what to do anymore.

I'm a 22 year old guy that feels lost and hopeless, i'm in pain all the time i feel worthless all the time, i consider myself heavely depressed, i've been like that since i was 15 or so, it's a long time and i still feel this low i dont know why maybe theres something wrong with me.

since 2 years know i consider ending my life almost once every week, the reason i didnt go through with it is that i feel bad about my parents if died, or may be i dont have the guts to do it.

the reaons i feel so low, i've never had someone to talk to, i dont have friends, i have never went on a date or had a girlfriend, and that's have a great impact on me cause i'm 22 and dont even have a girl.

maybe i'm ugly, i dont know, i'm 5'4, skinny and feeble.

i'm just SO alone, i've never had a job, i cant find a job, and it makes me feel like a loser

i was always bullied at school, so basicly my childhood wasnt that happy, but when that happen, i mean when some big guys try and bully me I speak brave, and never back down, and i know i'll get beating up, but it's better than that damn guilt feeling about being a cowerd, it burns you have no idea. so i would die to prove othewise, prove that i'm strong, i would literally go to my doom to prove that, or maybe i'm just suicidal.

i cry and cry and cry alone
I dream to fiend my soulmate, i will do anything for her, i will die for her

thats pretty much my life, and how i feel every day, i just wish to be happy, but i think that some people are meant to suffer i dont know.. i'm afraid i cant control myself any longer... a blood bath will always be prime, i think i really stink this time.
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replied December 23rd, 2009
That sounds awful, so much more worse than my silly story.
I know what its like to be alone, I've basically been alone all my life.
Who cares if you dont have a girl? I believe everyone was split in half, and that their other half is somewhere else in the world. You just to find her. The only ugly people are the ones that treat their partners, co workers, friends and everyone else like crap. Stay strong, you sound like a very nice person.
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