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I have no friends that are girls and have very little friends

Okay so i'm 17 years old and in high school and I know no girls at all. I also find it hard to conversate with girls and just approach them in general. I also go to an all boys school so it is hard to actually meet girls. I'm a normal guy and just dont know what is wrong with me, I can talk with guys just fine. I don't necessarily want a girlfriend, just girls that are friends. Whenever I am out and see a girl I like or that I think is pretty I will get all nervous and try to avoid eye contact and pretend I didn't notice them till they walk past. I just want to have the confidence to talk to them and be able to hold a conversation without it getting awkward like most guys can do.
I also have very little friends. I hang out with a group of guys at school and out of them i only am really friends with about 3 of them. I feel like an outcast because they all hang out together and go to parties and I am never invited and just pretty much ignored by them.
So what I'm pretty much saying is, I need help in actually getting some friends that are girls and how to talk with them and hold a conversation. Can anyone help?
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replied July 30th, 2012
i had/have this problem my hole life and im 25 years old. i just get along better with guys and girl seem to make me nervouse. i think it is self dout and insecure.
i hope someone give you a good answer to this or you will end up like me. no friends at all and alone because one day all of your guy friends will have there own girlfriends and they wont be able to hangout with you because there girlfriends dont like the idea or they will just get bored of a girl trying to be one of the guys. you have to fight threw this blockage now while your young because it will cause more problems than just not having any friend that are girls in the future. do you guy friend know any other girls? try hanging out in smaller groups with your guy friend and there friends that are girl. see if you hear anything you have incommon with a girl and join in on the conversation. start with making one girl friend and she will know other girl so you could go hang out again and meet new people. even if your nervous you have to try to talk and hold a conversation with them and many they will like what you got to say and your personality. than you can start with a new friend and do girly things that your supposed to do while ur young.
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replied July 31st, 2012
Focus on ur self, it sounds like u have an over all social issue. With only u only having 3 friends and not getting invited to parties the best way to meeting any girls is to focus on ur self improve the way u go about ur life. Despite what u might think a lot of guys have trouble talking to girls. Here's a good way to start, talk to girls like u would guys. You wouldn't talk to a guy just because he's good looking right? (well unless u swing that way) so don't just notice good looking girls, notice them because u have something in common, same way u meet guys. Girls see friendship the same way guys do. So if ur not trying to score with girls treat them normally.as far as ur all guys school goes.. Get involved in something out of school, get a job that forces u to be more social and forces u to work with girls and it dosnt matter what age they r talk to them be comfortable around them, talk to grandmas, tease them, flirt with them and dont feel awkward about it. If u mess up and say something wrong say sorry and learn...Do community service.. Do something.. Climb trees and go out on a limb. Get ur self into situations were girls have to talk to u and don't get nervous just talk , girls love to talk and they won't shutup if they feel comfortable around u.And if u get to a point were a girl talks about her problems with another guy to u, congrats she sees u as a friend and don't think it'll go any further if u plan on listening to all the bs. She won't complain to u if she actually likes u.
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replied August 1st, 2012
You don't really want to know how to talk to girls, cause that won't get you anywhere. What's funny is how the people we envy when we're young, are revealed to be nothing but a hype just a little later. Guys who know how to chat up girls are not at all good at keeping their interest. So shyness is not a curse. It's a treasure, actually. You may be surprised, but humble guys are really hot to ladies and are really treasured. Because we ladies grow up quick, and we learn the worth of the show-offs of men. And that's when we will give anything away just to have the approval of that humble guy in the corner. Cause he's real. You don't know how to approach girls? Just be cool about it, carry yourself with dignity, and they'll come searching for you soon enough.
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replied August 11th, 2012
You got some great advice there by andwhatda already! Go out there and do something where you can meet girls that you can hone your social skills on.

Most guys see peers that can relate to girls successfully and think they fell out of the sky with this ability to talk to girls. Let me enlighten you, they didn't! It's not a reflex you are born with. They learned how to do it by imitating successful men like their fathers or a brother. Some of them learned this from a very young age.

You haven't learned it until now because you did not have great "mentors" in your proximity to learn it from, but you can learn it now.

How do you learn it? There is only one way, by doing it!

How do you get confident to talk to girls? There is only one way, by pushing through your fear and by talking to them. The more you do it & face your fears, the more confident you will get. It's with learning any skill really.

I like to compare it with learning how to surf, which I did recently at 28, being a complete beginner.

You go into the water for the first time, everything feels awkward. You try to catch these waves and suck 100% of the time. You get smashed, sucked underwater, wiped-out, get shout at by more experienced surfers to get out of their way. It get's very scary sometimes, when the waves are too big. But you just gotta believe...you just gotta get smashed again and again and again. Going back in the next day, just to get smashed again!

But then one day, the waves suddenly don't seem that scary anymore. (<<< yes, you gained CONFIDENCE in the waves, because you got used to handling them and know what to expect) You also got used to getting wiped-out and recover faster. Suddenly, you ride a nice fast wave and get the most amazing feeling ever!

Talking to girls is the same. It feels scary, but you have to do it anyways. Every day again and again. You have to believe that when you do that every day, even though you suck now, you will get better! Read basic literature online about how to start and hold a conversation with girls, there is plenty of stuff around. Drop me a private message if you need specifics!

Start a conversation about something you observe. Practise with old women and girls you are not attracted to. Talk to random guys you don't know, too! Practise your social skills whenever you can. Yes you will have bad experiences, will "wipe-out" sometimes, but you will get better if you push through! And never, ever give up! Get back in, get smashed again and again and again.

If you continue doing that everyday, wait a couple of weeks to month and you will become this guy who is confident around women and has great social skills, because you actually practised it.

A great way to meet women you can talk to is when you share the same passions, like in a yoga class, a world of warcraft gathering or whatever floats your boat. Wink

Now go and talk to them! Wink

Tom

from DatingBullet
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