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I have a dysfunctional family

I live in a very dysfunctional family and, as of recently, have been having strained relationships with my father and step mother. My biological mother is unemployed (but actively seeking employment) and is the only real source of consolation from the flak I receive.

My step mother, although I love her dearly, has been recently treating me very badly. I am on the pinnacle of graduating high school as an honour student. Unfortunately, this is counter acted by severe social issues with my peers. I have been bullied and picked on because of my alien (outsider) views in a rural right-wing heavy neighborhood since third grade. I act very maturely whenever I can, approaching issues in my life with absolute deliberation, I am neither careless nor reckless in my approach. My step-mother believes I play the victim too often, because of the fact that I end up reacting to my peers taunts despite much energy on self control and do not take the bait mentality. She also is beside herself on little things with me, and we share polarized viewpoints, we rarely agree on very much anymore. For instance, I forgot to park off to the side at my grandparents and parked at the front door. When she came over to drop my brother off, she was livid, moved my car (would not let me do it) and took my keys away. It comes down to little things like that with her.

My father and I have a strained relationship because of differing viewpoints on lifestyles. He works very hard to feed me and my three siblings, but he depends heavily on financial support from my grandparents, who run a gourmet grocery. I have voiced that I want to live in a large foreign city one day and that I would never have had so many kids if I was unable to feed them well (he mostly cooks cheap, nutrient poor meals typical of pay check to pay check families) I also believe that he expects too much of me at times (academically) when technically I've done better than him in every class he ever took, and that I just don't test well compared to my peers.

This may be a rant, and I consider it to be one, but my step mother I know has medical issues. She takes medicine for depression and anger issues (she once flipped a table over a comment me and my biological brother made). Not to mention myself, which I've been able to self diagnose. I suffer from mild to severe depression, depending upon how a day goes for me. I also suffer from chronic anxiety and stutter, which only affects me when I am in agony, such as the time I had all my electronics de facto confiscated due to the fact I spent some money on some anemities and opened a checking account outside their control, I felt like prisoner in my own home for three weeks, being forced to do chores for other people in my home over a minor issue at best.
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replied June 7th, 2012
I need some help and maybe an answer to my dysfunctinal family problem
My step dad is going to be 80 in a couple of weeks my mom wants to have a family get together bbq party for my dad, problem is I havent been to family get together in over 4 years because of my sister and her family mostly it's because of my niece she is in everbody's business including my business she doesnt stay out of my business,telling 1 lie after another and she knows it all so I cut them out of my life I told them they are all dead to me (my sister and her family)but my niece doesnt stop now she got into my son and his familys business my son was going thru possibly a divorce and she was right there putting her 2 cents in she is such a back stabber it's not even funny and very controlling my sister says she does no wrong ,my mom says she is her grandaughter and knows what she is doing is wrong but mom can't do a thing about the niece.The niece will talk about you behind your back tell strangers about your past etc help!!! I have a rare disease and my body cannot handle stress and everytime I am around my sister and her family I get so stressed out and sick and my sister she is no angel neither her and her husband will rub it my face" they got it made"my brother in law is a theif and steals from work so they can have fancy cars,boats,trips etc and the whole family knows it!!How can I be at my dad's birthday without dealing with these people? See step dad the day before? BTW my sister after my divorce a few ago she told me my ex husband was always hitting on her.The last time I was at a family get together was 4 years ago for xmas and I sat with my new husband and my sister and her family were in 1 corner whispering and pointing at us and talking about us behind my back I am not parnoid this goes on all the time at famiy get togethers,they think they are better than everybody,We excused ourselves and went home they cannot seem to stop gossiping I politely ask them to stop but they don't. So now for the holidays I make other plans because of these people I do not wish to be around these miserable people.My niece knows it all she has a Dr.s degree and marriage counseling degree but she ddnt even finish high school.!!!!
When I used to be around them and feel sick she would say your such a drama queen or when my son had marriage problems there she was giving her advice but while she did all this her fiancee was cheating on her.How to deal with these people?
I know it makes my mom sad we can't have get togethers anymore,but my husband and I agree to stay away from my sister and her family he doesnt get what their problem is why they continue their dysfunctional ways we all sat down a year ago and I thought it was settled and discussed but they are still at it nothing changed with them,mom says let it roll of your back but they are saying very hurtful things about me and my new hubby.
Husband is so sick of their mouthy mouths and all their backstabbing and gossipping
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