Medical Questions > Mental Health > Depression Forum

I hate the place were I live ( netherlands)

I dont know if I can stand this any longer.
I am feeling more empty everyday. I need a change in ANYTHING as fast as possible.
Because I think real depression would be kicking in... very soon...

The past year was one lonesome year for me. I left my old friends because they only care about drinking,drugs,sex. When they go on holiday to spain, they try to have as much sex as possible. I mean really.. theres more to life.

The whole year, of living with my own, I spend self-reflecting and spending some time with god.
I came to the conclusion that my whole life I have been going against my nature.
My race is asia. I always tried to fit in with Netherlands people; but this ment for me self-destructive behaviour.
Alot of dutch people are always detached in public areas,and sometimes even in close relationships. Except ofcourse when your drunk, than its okay to have a conversation with a stranger... I dont get this at all! Sometimes I just want to have a quick, nice chat with a stranger in the bus or any place. But If I do, people think I am strange: that it is out of the norm. In asia this is normal. I dont want anything from the strangers, just a nice quick chat. thats all: I am just being nice.
I hate also that alot of people here, see me as less:because of my race. I dont get this!!I am just human as you... I have been a pretty populair guy in the past, living and spending time with a criminal youth gang with other foreigners. We did alot of drugs, and partied all day. Unknownly, this made me more depressed. This is not how I am...
The third thing, social hierachy is alive and breeding here everywere;school,workingplaces,family,frie ndsgroups! Its all about cliqs, to exclude as many people from it as possible;because of race,subculture,bodyparts etc.. And in cliqs itself there is hierachy. All based who is toughest,masculine etc. I dont get this!! I mean in asia we are all friends (with exceptions ofcourse!).If I think about this now, I just feel bad. Why?? why cant we go along all?
The fourth thing is, everyone is so ignorance and closeminded. How more you are, how cooler you are... Serious!! I mean we all got internet and acces to libaries here.But everyone chooses the path of ignorance.
Theres more way more, everyone is so silent here. I mean when I hit my toe to the corner of a wall. I want to scream that it hurts.. but nooo thats wierd, everyone would stare at you.You must act like nothing happend, otherwise its shamefull. I dont get this!! I just hurt my toe, i may shout??
I am trying to get new friends. But I came to a conlusion there are two different people here. The nerds and people who think life is about sex and beer. I dont want anything of this. I want to have no hierachy, and that people just care to be with eachother, in harmony and love. Just like asia. Thats a friend group I love to be with. Not saying those people arent here, but they are rare. I presume. Plus those people would be probally in lowest classe of the hierachy. How painfull...

Theres more, way more. Its living in pure self-denial of my own persona here. I cant stand it, I cant breath anymore. My own inner-deep self is slowly dieing. Demons of depression and self-destruct is ripping through me. I just want to be myself, withouth being looked at. I am not wierd at all, I just want to be nice and HUMAN. I am far from wierd, dont get me wrong.

You here this probally alot here, I am just a nice person. And I dont care about hierachy, and who is the boss. I wanna life equall. I want to share my stuff with everyone, withouth a greedy person seeing opportunities in me.Yes people do that here ALOT. I dont care about how much sex I have. I just want one close girlfriend for life. And If i talk to a girl in public, I am NOT Hitting on here. I am just quickchatting. And if someon tells a good joke, I want to laugh hard. Because its funny!! I dont want to run to the toilet to "giggle it out", because people might find it wierd whenI laugh hard in public places. I dont want that people see me as less just because of my race. I dont want to hear ignorance. I dont want to fight anymore for hierachy posistions. I DONT I DONT I DONT I DONT I DONT etc...
I just want peace and harmony. I wont to stop fighting against my self. Sad
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First Helper Sinc17

replied July 30th, 2011
Extremely eHealthy
HI, obviously u don't feel u fit in, and that is very possible; IT IS LIKE THIS;
u go to check out a apartment complex but as soon as there u don't like it
other person goes to same and immediately likes it

SO MAYBE if would be good for u to go to a new apartment complex IN YOUR CASE; another country such as Asian and u know them better than I.
but in the mean time don't give up on people there, because many in the world would be happy to trade places.
If u have never been to U.S. try San Fransisco or go little south to Burbank, CA ,
NOW AS TO giggling TRY IT OUT LOUD AND TRY IT SEVERAL TIMES u might find people enjoy your laughter.
good luck
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replied August 4th, 2011
I felt like that most of my life. I lived in Russia and people over there have very European mentality everything is black and white for them. Basically everything what you said about Netherlands is true for Russia, only Russians are also extremely rude. Also it doesn't help that I am a minority who looks Asian and Russians look down on Asian-looking people (although I am not Asian, more so Eurasian). I always felt out of place all my life. I can't understand their culture although I was born in Russia. I don't understand why they are primitive in so many ways, cruel, rude, nasty to everybody and each other. Suicide rate in Russia is one of the highest in the world. Why are they so dependent on people's opinion? I hate people drinking all the time, I hate nationalists, I hate racists, Russians are not even considered to be equal to Europeans, but yet they admire European culture, Hitler and whatnot. I was depressed most of my time there and then I moved to Asia. I immediately felt much better. I still had depression as I was so used to being depressed all the time. Now I live in USA, it is just another Russia but with fake smiles and better customer service.
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replied November 30th, 2014
Experienced User
Absolutly agree what's been said above.They're ignorent and smallminded.
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replied November 30th, 2014
Experienced User
That ''country'' can't be saved!
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replied March 29th, 2013
I also live in the netherlands. I have the same issue. Everyone here is detached and they dont eant to communicate with people they dont know. It sucks, I feel your pain tho. Since this message is from 2011 I wonder how you are feeling now.
What i always think is that if I go to college Ill move to another country. Because if i dont i wont be able to live my life. Its such a shame people are like this here. Most of my friends have betrayed me. I have trust issues because of them. But oh well i guess time will get better? Im curious where you are now. Dont think im the same like the other dutchies. Im pretty the opposite of them. Goodluck with everything u r going to do
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replied April 23rd, 2013
Yeah, well I'm spanish and I fell into depression in Germany.
Europe sucks, but southern countries are ok, I guess, we still know what life means.

I've been to Japan, nice country, people were very
polite there. And I love the food and the weather.

Germany, the Neatherlands, Russia, USA are distorted images of humanity. I think that if people don't eat decent food, fish, vegetables, etc.. then they are shallow, rude and ignorant in that country.

Check the cuisine before you travel!!

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