I feel so alone. I only have one friend who i can trust and i feel happy around, but lately he's been ditching me to hang around with the 'popular' pretty girls. I've always been bothered about my weight, infact it's the one thing which constantly runs through my mind. My parents both work full time so they never talk to me. I get ignored at school and every relationship I've been cheated on and messed around. I feel so ugly. I have this sick empty feeling in my stomach and i can't help but cry every night. I'm failing at school as i never have the energy to get my work done or even wake up for school. I feel selfish feeling this way, because it's just like i care about the way i look and i'm being self centered, but i can't help it. It's been bothering me for ages and ages and i don't know what to do
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replied November 15th, 2010
First off, it's not your fault that someone else cheated on you. You can't make decisions for another person. And honestly, the people that did cheat on you probably hate themselves as well. This isn't a very uncommon problem in the world. Let's face it, we all tend to compare ourselves and be compared to the people we see on television or magazines. All of that is imaginary, so of course we'll never compare to them.
The only advice I can give to you is to do something YOU Love. Do what it is that you feel inside yourself. Not saying be completely selfish or egotistical. I'm saying to let your spirit shine. From experience, looks are deceiving and shallow. If someone is going to truly Love you it's because they Love your spirit.
If your friend is going out and hanging with the pretty girls. Then maybe, you should be more open to making new friends who are into the same things you're into. Or just randomly start a conversation with someone at the grocery store. Everyone you see is a friend waiting to be made.
Find perfection in your imperfections.
Also, this self hatred will only progress with time. So, you should definitely take steps away from it. It doesn't happen over night. best of luck.
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replied November 17th, 2010
Take control!
I'm really sorry to hear you're feeling this way. I know this sounds quite cliche but, it's tough growing up. I know what you're going through in both friendships and perceived self appearance. I grew up very overweight and I don't care what anybody said, it bothered me. There's nothing wrong with being overweight, it's when being overweight affects your self esteem that it becomes a little bit of a problem. I grew up with no friends and the only friend I had, would also ditch me all the time to hang out with the cool guys. I hated myself too and it seemed to only be getting worse. Parents were divorced and I only got to see my mom for a few hours each night.

What I can tell you is that you need to be happy with yourself (another cliche). If you've always had a problem with your weight and it's affecting you like this, do something about it. I know it's really hard to lose weight but I'm not saying go on a crazy diet and kill yourself at the gym (that stuff never works because not eating only makes your metabolism slow down). I mean, find a sport or active hobby you find interesting and just go for it! It's also a great way to meet other people that at least have something in common with you. I know I'm being blunt but you're not going to make any friends unless you put yourself out there and meet people. And NO, appearance has nothing to do with real friendship. I chose to pick up mountain biking which is more of a loner sport so it didn't really directly help me in the friend department, but it helped me indirectly. After a few months I lost weight, not ALOT, but enough to give me back my self confidence. And that, my dear, is the ticket to making friends.

With my newfound confidence, I found myself talking to random people in random places and surprisingly, I've made a lot of friends like that. I found myself dressing different, talking different, and feeling much better about myself which is the more important part. Just finding something to do makes a huge difference.

As for the douches that cheated on you, screw them. Coming from a guy, TRUST ME, young guys are just stupid and more prone to things like that. You just need to learn how to pick them. Not all guys will break your heart. From being the guy no girl liked and got cheated on, I'm now happily engaged with a wonderful girl who loves me to death.

In the end, what I'm trying to tell you with all this, is that YOU are in control. If there's something you don't like about yourself, change it. If there's something in your life you're not happy with, get rid of it and get something else. I know how it feels to be in the dark, downward spiral but you don't have to be there. Be strong, get out and have some damn fun! And when you do, you'll be wondering why you let yourself feel like this!

Take care and good luck! If you ever need to talk, post a reply on here and we'll get in touch. I'd put my email on here but last time I did I got a bunch of really nasty porn in my inbox lol
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