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I hate my life bc of my stepdad

I hate my life so much., Every day i come home and i tell myself that I hate my life. I am only 13 and its because of my step dad i hat him. All he does is lie. i come home and sleep i block out everyone.. I no longer talk with anyone in my house. i just go in my room and isolate my self.. everyday i look in the mirror and I cant stand my life.. Am i depressed do i need help. I hate talking to people like therapists. Just thinking about makes me want to breakdown, I am at the end of my rope. I told my mom that I HATE him and she is just like "you cant expect him to change overnight" when it has been 2 years
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replied February 16th, 2013
Extremely eHealthy
Hello Nicole,

I am sorry for your trouble and at 13 it is likely to seem worse than it really is because of your puberty.

I am wondering what sort of lies your stepfather tells that upsets you so much?
Is he a habitual liar or "romancer" as my old mother used to politely refer to such people who had got into the habit of the sort of lies and exaggerations designed to make them appear better and more exciting than everyone else even over the smallest things. Such people lie automatically without knowing they are doing it.

OR does he tell lies to hide guilt or does he deliberately lie for gain or to make others seem bad?

You say you don't like talking to people like therapists so clearly you have some experience of them? Why are you too suspicious of them to tell them about yourself and your troubles? Often the therapist doesn't have to do anything but listen and the very act of hearing yourself talking about things helps put them in perspective and eases the mind.
Most girls of 13 have a support network of other boys and girls to share troubles with as well as favourite uncles and aunts and friends among nearby neighbours, favourite school teachers and others at clubs, societies or church they might belong to.

You are probably a little bit depressed as you spend too much time alone in your room and are sleeping a lot. Depression is a chemical imbalance in the brain that makes a person feel really terrible. Along with your puberty that also sometimes affects the mind for a few years I am sure you feel really rotten and can't be bothered with anything.

You have to realise that spending so much time alone being inactive is going to make you feel worse because the chemical your brain needs to make you feel better is produced when you engage in physical activity and are being social with others. Some of the way you feel is caused by you being alone in your room. Not eating or eating the wrong stuff is also going to make you feel depressed.

Most young people hate addicts of all sorts - drugs, alcohol, and stuff like that.
Do you realise you are also an addict? People who are depressed are addicted to misery. They usually can't wait to get back to their pit of despair and wallow like pigs in their misery telling themselves how bad things are like a mantra and soon they come to believe it themselves.
Depressed people also tend to tell lies: they tend to say whatever others want hear even if it isn't true so they can be left alone with their misery.
A bit like your stepfather perhaps...

For the next few years you have to realise your brain can be telling you lies by giving you bad feelings when there isn't much out of the ordinary to feel bad about so you have to learn to be wise and use your intellect to decide what feelings to ignore.
You need to eat properly. You need to build yourself a support network. You need to divert yourself with interests and hobbies and you need to be physically active and be social. All these things are an antidote to how you are feeling just now.
If you do these things within just a month or two you will begin to feel much better...

You should be the most important thing in your life. You are number one and you need to look after number one. Your stepfather doesn't really matter very much - he is probably quite pleased that you spend so much time in your room. I suggest instead of locking yourself away and spiting yourself you get out there and do good and spite him.

Good luck! Please come back again and tell us how things are with you.
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