Medical Questions > Relationships > Broken Hearted Forum

I hate her boyfriend, she has rejected me.....what should I do?

Hi, I really need help, here's the situation:
I've liked a girl since I met her, she's the love of my life, I adore her, I've known her since a year and like 8 months.
At first, it started as every flirt, but I screwed it and she rejected me and then evicted me for the next 2 months.

I didnt care it much at first, but one day she needed urgent help with schoolwork and came to me, I couldnt negate her cause I still liked her, and she started to talk to me, but not too much, and she asked me to be kind of her tutor or something(Im the best student of my grade, and a bit shy), and that was the way I started to relate her.

Well time passed and my love for her growth with that time. I always gave her gifts (I dont pretend to show-off, but they werent any gifts, they were not cheap) when dates like xmas, birthdays, valentine's day, and she was ok with that but never showed any attraction to me, but I didnt care, now I was in love with.......well, in love of her.

She had boyfriends but any serious one, always she ended heartbroken.
When we finished the school-year where we met, I had a "minor" girlfriend, I was just figuring out if my beloved came jealous if that happened, i didnt knew it, but we even dated in vacations, but like friends....(I havent that intention in my mind). We entered to highschool, I broke with that gf, but something bad happened, SHE STOPPED TALKING TO ME!! EVICTING ME AGAIN!! AND TOLD ME GET OUT OF MY LIFE, WITHOUT EXPLANATION. Those were the 3 worst months of my life, but it ended when a friend make her to think a bit about the she ha done to me and she apologized me (that friend knew I love her)

More time passed and we started to relate waaaaay better (I mean, she seemed to be happy for first time when with me). At past year february he starte dating a guy, the one I hate because he's a problem!! his talk is cheap and rude, and a hipocrit cause he was "an angel" with her, but when men, he's a bull. They lasted 8 months and he broke her heart finishing her aparently without any reason

Nothing really important passed the rest of the time, but now April came, 2 and a half months away from departing to different schools next year =(, I gone to france at eastern hollidays and bought her a scent for her bthday , I gave that to her, including a declaration letter with absolutelly ALL my feelings for her.

2 days later, she talked with me and told me she loves me like a really good friend(I learnt just a month before that friends are always there, but pretenders not, anyway is too late) I was her "kind of guy that she always wanted" but she just didnt feel the way I o for her, and she was feeling bad because she doesnt want me sad because of her, but I told her that if she was happy, Im too, no caring about my heart (that always have been broken), and she promised to keep beeng as good friend as we thought we were.

Anyway I was fine, but yesterday, from out of nowhere her ex-boyfriend appeared at our school (he was expelled past year, imagine now how mean is he) and I dont know what he told her... and now in her msn nickname he put his name and her name like a million times and messages like miss u, need u blah blah blah

I'm kind of too bipolar right now, from sad to rageous, I absolutelly want her happy, but I know its gonna end a bad way because of the way he is!! Im too worried for her, what shoul I do?? Because I love her, but I'll never be with her, but I always dream about she and me being in love together, and know she'll be with a jerk!! Im a bit paranoid too because I think in things like marriage, relates and sex without that feeling of impotency of not being with her burns myself from inside!!

*apologies for my poor redacting, my mother language isnt english
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replied April 23rd, 2010
Experienced User
It sounds to me that shes made it pretty clear that she likes you only as a friend...it sucks yes but you have to move on...either accept her as a friend and leave the relationship stuff alone or if thats too hard and you cant have just a platonic relationship with her then you need to move on with your life...also, being there for her means being there for her through the good and through the bad...people cant control how they feel about someone,she cant control how she feels about this guy...she probably is well aware that this guy isn't appropriate for her but that isn't for you to decide..so if I were you and you dont want to lose her completely I would just be there for her when he lets her down bc trying to force your opinion of this guy onto her will only upset her...one of my good girlfriends isn't fond of the guy i'm dating, shes always bad mouthing him and telling me i need to move on, but ultimately if IM happy and your my friend thats all you need to worry about...period..if hes not the right guy..she will just have to learn that herself..but its her decision to make...you will find a nice girl one day..trust me...but if you're stuck on this one..then you may miss out on alot of good girls that pass your way..I was head over heals crazy for a guy freshman year of college, I would have done anything for him...but unfortunately he didn't want a relationship...on summer break I met my current boyfriend...it was actually just supposed to be a summer fling to make the boy back in college jealous...but it turned out to be way more than what either of us expected and we've been together years now...my point is, love happens when you least expect it..but if you dont give any other girls a chance bc youre so stuck on this one..then you're missing out...
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replied April 27th, 2010
Extremely eHealthy
I agree with worrywart...maybe you should stop buying her these expensive gifts and just be there for her as a friend. I know it will be hard but i think it will be for the best..good luck..Jenny
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replied January 28th, 2011
Heartache, and time to heal
in similar situation myself, 48 yrs old, and been there before. Sad but true, our only choice in order to be free to satisfy our souls is to move on until the desire dissipates and only then can we re-locate into a "friend" category. Otherwise subtle nuances a female will use to express her love for you as her best friend will be too easily mis-interpreted by us in our hopeful aspirations as leaning to something more until our hearts are broken again and again and again in our quest to satisfy a romantic love relationship that they will never desire or entertain in our wildest fantasies. I want to cry just posting this, because anything except this depth of acceptance would only be denial on our parts. I am sorry for you and me, but that's how it is.
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