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I hate food and it feels like I'm going crazy.

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I can't let myself eat it, and I have to force myself to when my parents are around.
I'm already in therapy for depression, self-injury, and family issues, but I don't want my parents to find out about this-they already think I'm messed up.
Although one friend of mine found out, and he showed me a skeleton saying, "Skinny enough?" and it hurt. Not sure why, but it hurt.
It's jumbled up and I'm not making sense, I know. I just don't know what to do.
On one hand, I want to keep starving and losing weight, while on the other, I just want to feel normal.
I either don't eat and feel depressed, or I do eat, purge, and feel worse. I want a happy medium but can't find one.
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replied July 19th, 2011
I understand how you feel. I'm going through this, too. I'm just not in therapy for anything, but I am relating to your relationship with food. If you want to lose weight, perhaps you shouldn't do it so drastically. The trick is to eat less calories than you burn in your day. For example, five minutes of jogging burns around 50 calories. You could burn off those 50 calories after eating something that has that many and you'd be left with zero. That's almost like you hadn't eaten anything! So just measure yourself. If you are underweight or at a healthy weight and bmi, there is no need for you to stop eating. If you eat around 1200-1500 calories a day, your weight will not decrease nor increase. You will be able to maintain a steady number on the scale. By doing so, you wont have to starve yourself and you should feel normal- that's what everyone else does! it'll take some time to get used to eating more, and it's going to be hard. If you want to take better care of yourself, you'll have to work for it. But I know it wont be easy, it's ok. Go up by increments. Hope I helped. Smile
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replied July 20th, 2011
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whats doctors says about you?
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replied July 21st, 2011
i think you need some natural product like blue green algae,enzymes it me help full for you
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replied July 23rd, 2011
Hey we are shooting a new documentary and music video about recovering anorexics and bulimics. and expressing its ok to embrace ourselves and not conform to what the world wants us to look like... email me if you are in Canada or USA and want to be involved in spreading a positive message to the many that need it.
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