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I genuinely don't feel I have an Eating Disorder.

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I have been recently getting help from a counsellor for depression, self harming and a recent suicide attempt.
When I was in hospital, I had fainted after my finger prick test. I hadn't eaten and I don't drink a lot, I never have done even as a child, and the nurses directed me to a counselling service where I was told I had an eating disorder.
My B.M.I is 19 I think, which is normal, and I'm at a healthy weight.
I do eat and drink on occasion because I have to and I give into hunger. I'm not a good cook and want a quick fix when I'm starving so I cook something easy and probably not highly nutritious.
I drink everyday, but not a lot. I don't eat every day. I eat maybe 2/3 times a week. So I'm not starving myself too much.
My reason for not eating is because of my depression. I just have no passion to get up and out of bed some days. I also hate cooking because it's boring, I'm not good at it and I've undercooked my food at times, so I feel like I'm failing at it. I like eating. I want to eat. I don't have the money to eat out so I don't. But I have absolutely no motivation to cook it myself. And when I do eat my own cooking, most of it goes in the bin.
I'm not exercising. I don't like exercising. I'm not trying to be thin, I just really hate making food. I find it too much hard work. I get emotionally distressed by my failure.
I'm not making myself sick. I have, just to get rid of acid reflux on very rare occasion. I was a fat child, but I lost all my weight. And I don't want to be thinner than I am. I have got a bit of a fear getting up to 8 stone or above, but I don't feel I really have a problem, this is just me generally worrying about not being able to fit into my clothes.
My only problem is that I can't just switch off depression and low motivation. I know if I could, I would probably force myself to cook some food every day.
It's got to the point where I'm too embarrassed to eat in front of the people I live with. I feel isolated, none of them speak to me any more and I hear them talking about my weird eating a sleeping patterns. I'm eating at ridiculous times, sometimes when they're all asleep. I don't want them to watch me and judge me for not eating healthily, or eating large amounts, or not enough.
Again, I don't feel I should be told I have an eating disorder. I'm paranoid enough without adding more problems to my list. And there are people out their who genuinely suffer.

I just need some help or some tips on motivating me back into an easy to accomplish, quick to make and healthy diet so I don't feel bored by food, and can make sure I eat it everyday. I know once I'll stop being depressed, I can have a passion to eat.
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First Helper grandcorpsmalade
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replied March 14th, 2014
Hello aosc93,

I hope that you don't mind me being honest with you, but it sounds like you do have an eating disorder. Not all people with eating disorders are the same, for example my eating disorder is very different to yours, but your eating is definitely disordered. You may have EDNOS, which is what I was first diagnosed with (Eating Disorder Not Otherwise Specified), and it is when the eating disorder is atypical, which I think yours is. They don't like to diagnose people with an eating disorder unless it is serious and if you continue to eat so sporadically you will either end up with a severe eating disorder or even dead. I have nearly lost my life to an eating disorder or more than one occasion. Seek help whilst you can, there are obviously people willing to help you. I also have depression, so you can have depression and an eating disorder. Are you taking any medication for your depression, it might help you feel a bit more empowered. Could you buy some couscous or pasta salads from the supermarket that way you don't have to cook but can still have something nutritious, just an idea. Cooking isn't always enjoyable but your depression seems to have made food unenjoyable for you, which is a real shame, I hope that you can find a way to move forward. We will be here for you whatever you decide.
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replied July 18th, 2014
Yes I like this post I have get lot of information about eating tips.
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replied August 12th, 2014
You have already changed your life patterns,getting help from psychiatrist is good step o your part.
As you get out of the depression ,you will start enjoying your food.
Better health will reduce bad sleeping as well eating patterns.
So, great lifestyle awaits you,get cheered up.
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