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i feel a need to know everything about them, Am i a stalker?

Hi,
sorry I really don't know where to post this.. :S

Okay, so I'm 17 and I just realized recently I may not act like I should..
I have social phobia and have never been in a relationship. I like the idea of it, but whenever someone says they want to go out with me I just get overly stressed and freaked out. I have also never loved or liked anyone I personally know, or even never felt sexual attraction for anyone.

But the thing is, I seem to get really attracted to strangers. First of all, whenever someone looks at me I think they like me, and it just gets me happy and excited, and I want to see them all the time, so that they can see me and all.
But I also had 2 major "crushes", or whatever I should call them. The first one started when I was 13 and lasted 2 and a half years, and the second when I was 15 and lasted 2 years. They eventually ended as both people I felt infatuated to were a year older and left school.

The thing is, I had never even spoken to them! And both infatuations started cause they quickly just looked at me.
Ever since I always wanted to see them, in the hall, yard, anywhere! I'd think about them all the time.
I also found them on facebook, looked at all their photos hundreds of times, and felt like I knew them half by heart. I know where they live, their numbers, their music taste... I even went past or near the first ones house whenever I could.
I wrote an anonymous love letter to the first person but never had the guts to tell him who I was. The second lived quite far away so I couldn't pop one in her letterbox, and I had no connection to her whatsoever.
Social anxiety was a big blockage, and I really don't know what I would have done if I didn't have it.
I see a psychologist, and may get rid of a lot of it. And I'm a little scared of what I'll be like after that. I really don't know what I'll do, I don't think I'd harass them or anything, but maybe I'm wrong..
I'm starting a new crush on this girl I've seen 3 times in the bus in the past few months, she always gazes at me and all. I managed to find her on facebook, and I feel like all this crap is starting again. I feel the "need" to know everything about her, I feel like I love her! and it hurts me. I want to see her all the time, I want her to like me. I dunno, it's really weird..

So what do you think this is? I can't find much information on the internet, but a few websites suggest I may be an intimacy seeking stalker, or a love obsession stalker.
What should I do? I don't feel ready to talk about it to my psychologist, I am very embarrassed.
Has anyone experienced similar things?

Thanks a lot for reading all this and for your help!
And sorry for the mistakes, I'm French ^^
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replied November 22nd, 2013
Experienced User
I know its hard, but I would suggest talking to your psychologist. However, based upon what I read I don't think your a stalker. What I do think is that because of your social phobia you probably have a lot less social interaction then one would expect. Accordingly, it would appear you are fantasizing about having relationships because your social phobia currently denies you the possibility of having the real thing. Which is a lot different then being a stalker. Who tend to take things in quite extremes such as camping at the person house and so forth.

Also, don't be embarrassed about your situation. Anxiety is one of those things that many people struggle with.

Best of luck.
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