Medical Questions > Relationships > Broken Hearted Forum

I dont know what to do, So depressed, lonely, sad over her

i am in sort of a situation, i love my girlfriend, she went back to jamaica from her internship, she said wherever i was at was home for her, she was in love with me deeply, then all of a sudden after 1 month and a half of being back in jamaica she stopped calling me frequently and i had to call her almost everytime, she started telling me to leave her alone and stopped telling me she loves me, she began to say that she cant take seeing me in this pain, and that she does not want to come back to see me, i just dont get it, i got engaged to her on her birthday, what better of birthday gift is there? She was ecstatic always telling me i was the love of her life and the best she has ever had, and now, she doesnt even call, i have to and when i do call she wont talk to me for more than 2 minutes, she avoids me, dodges me and wont talk to me, im soo depressed, sad and lonely, i cry almost every night, i have tried to move on but everytime i am with a girl that is not her i treat them like i would treat her, i cant even kiss another women, something just wont let me, i dont know what to do!!!
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replied December 25th, 2012
Extremely eHealthy

I am sorry for your trouble.

It is clear your fiance has either changed her mind or had it changed for her by pressures from her family or past boyfriends.

You don't say whether she is black or whether you are black but traditional prejudices, customs and cultures are likely to be much stronger in Jamaica and other such places. It is probable family and cultural pressures have been applied to her soon after returning home.
When you call it is possible she is being overheard which will severely limit her conversation.

I feel you have two choices - either accept she has a changed mind about your engagement and move on or take a trip to Jamaica and discover the truth for yourself.

A surprise visit would be the best way of discovering the truth.
If she was old enough to pledge her engagement and she hasn't formally cancelled her agreement and returned the token (engagement ring) with you then you have the right to continue to hold expectations about your future together.

The sensible thing to do would be to write and ask her to state her intentions clearly and give reasons for her changed behaviour. If she wishes to break the engagement she must return the ring or any other token used to mark her declaration of intention to marry you.
The trouble you are facing is such a letter could be intercepted by whoever might be influencing her so you really need to meet her in person to be able to discuss the matter and find the truth...

I feel you need to find the absolute truth before you can move on.

You must accept the possibility that you have been her "holiday romance" and she became temporarily too involved which led to her agreeing to become engaged. Since returning home she has undergone an awakening or realisation that her enthusiasm was unwise but is too embarassed and/or ashamed to admit the fact.

Plain language is best...

Good luck!
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replied January 12th, 2013
maybe u shouldnt have tried to have a long distance relationship.
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replied January 17th, 2013
thats what is happening with me and my bf. i love my bf very much but i always have to call or text him and wait hrs till he replies me. i know how much it hurts when your love ones ignores you. i think you should tell her how ur feeling about her if u did, do it again and again so she will stop hurting you.
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