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i dont even known whats wrong with me, am i just being silly?

about 9 months ago, i started to just diet and excersise more because i was unhappy with my shape, i kept exercising, cutting more and more calories, i was counting them as well. It kinda got out of control in a super short period of time in just 2 months. i was eating on average 600 calories a day at a height of 167cm (5'6) and i started at 60kg and ended up being 46kg in 2 months. everyone got so worried and i then got worried and it all spiraled into me just stuffing everything into my mouth and in a week i gained 4kg back again blah blah blah, but still everyone was really worried and got me admitted into cahms with a worker specializing in eating disorders. but by the time we had our first session (in march) i had managed to binge so much to the point where i was 57kg. i was so upset because i looked so big and i started purging regulary, everyday basically, i told CAHMS and started treating me for possible bulima. But as time went on i got more and more scared and managed to (in a very short time ) stop purging and havent done it since april. now ive been yoying up and down in my weight, food still haunts me yet i still cant gain control back. i cry about my body all the time, i hate it, but i always cave in now. right now all i feel is stupid, am i just now overeacting, am i cured or whatever? because im a 'healthy' weight again and i eat, but the thing is i hate eating, i hate it so much,everytime i eat i get this overwhelming guilt inside of me, like im failing at everything. i just dont even know what i am anymore or if i even need help from CAHMS. i kinda just wanna know from someone else after reading all of this. does it seem like im completely overreacting now and just need to sort my head out, its not an eating disorder its just me being silly or does it seem like i should tell someone more about my struggles with food even though im a healthy weight again and not purging because i dont even know anymore im so lost and feel fat constantly i hate it.

if you managed to end up here well done thank you so much for taking the time to read this xox
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replied January 21st, 2019
Thank you for asking at Ehealth forum!

I read your question and I understand your concern.
I would suggest you to start SSRI like flouxetine.
Also continue CBT sessions and learn self coping mechanisms.
I hope it helps. Stay in touch with your healthcare provider for further guidance as our answers are just for education and counselling purposes and cannot be an alternative to actual visit to a doctor.
Take care
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