Medical Questions > Pregnancy Forum > Depression During Pregnancy Forum

I don't know how to deal with the pregnancy

I just found out I am pregnant. I am so depressed. Everyone else is so excited. I know I should be... I just don't know how to be. Things are set: married, good job, house, supportive family. When I think of having the child I feel a pit in my stomach.
I was on birth control and was getting sick every few weeks. I stopped purchasing it and made an appointment with my gyno to find a different birth control. In the meantime I asked my husband to be protected. I'm so frustrated! I asked him to be protected and he didn't! Now I'm the one terrified. I've tried hurting myself to get the child out of me. I know I'm a horrible person. I really need someone to talk to. People say it's normal to feel overwhelmed. This doesn't seem normal. I just wanna die. Has anyone else felt this way? I hope I'm not the only one. I need to know it's going to get better.
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replied February 14th, 2013
Hi,
Welcome to ehealthforum,
The symptoms that you describe suggest possibility of pregnancy induced depression (also known as Pregnancy blues) along with effects of the changing hormonal effects. If the symptoms have been affecting your daily/work/personal life and/or your personal relations, you should consider visiting your doctor/gynecologist at the earliest for further evaluation (to look for the underlying cause) and assistance (to control the symptoms). Based on the evaluation results, medications (safe ones that can be used during pregnancy) would be started to help you. Counseling sessions would also help you to cope up with your symptoms and carry on with pregnancy smoothly.
Take care.



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replied March 12th, 2013
Tokophobia
Hi there,
Do you think you have tokophobia? I only mention this as this is what I have, a severe phobia about pregnancy & childbirth.
I have suffered with depression, anxiety & OCD for over 20 years ( I am nearing being 40). I am in a predicament & am severely distressed with how I feel.
I like you am happily married, have a good job, a house & 2 cats! I would like to have a child. I have managed to avoid it all my life due to my severe phobia of pregnancy. I now feel so trapped & left not knowing what to do. Everyone around me has had or are having children, I feel so inadequate, they don't understand. People keep telling me how pregnancy is wonderful & exciting, yet the idea makes me feel sick, yet I want a baby.
It was only about a year ago that I found out about tokophobia, and that it's a recognised phobia and many other women feel the same.
Unfortunately, if you do feel this way, I cannot help you deciding what to do, I cannot help myself with it either, but I'm glad there is information out there on this phobia, just google the word, and I am happy that I can now talk about this, I have kept it to myself all these years.
If you don't think this is your problem then I am sorry to have mentioned it to you!
Thanks
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replied March 20th, 2013
Newly Pregnant and Depressed/Anxious
I am just starting week 17 of my first pregnancy. I too am blessed to have a great famiky, husband, house, friends and job. I have always been unsure if i truly wanted children but knew deep down that I did want a family with my husband. I too suffer from anxiety (OCD tendencies) and have kept it under control for thirteen years, mostly with celexa. I also have MS which stirred up the anxiety. In any case, when I found out I was pregnant, which I did not truly think would happen the first time we tried (because I have PCOS), my doctor took me off the celexa in five days! This was the start of the worst time of my life. On top of extreme nausea and vomiting 24 hrs/day for weeks, severe depression and anxiety set in, worse than I have ever experienced in my life. I have been through a diagnosis of MS at 20 and lost my father suddenly at 28 and this current depression while pregnant has been more unbearable than anything I have ever experienced. To say that is a lot and shows how extreme this is. I have been suffering from extreme panic, terrible thoughts of wanting my life back and ending the pregnancy, the inability to conceptualize all the change and accept it. I am terrified of everything that has to do with this pregnancy. I have now been back on celexa for nearly five weeks and have been speaking to a therapist weekly. Its still hard but we have been noticing a small change week by week. We are hopeful things will continue to get better as I cannot imagine 5 1/2 more months of this. All i want is to accept and enjoy this pregnancy. Hang in there, I know I am.
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