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I don't know how I continue to move foward.....

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I have never opened up about this and I am not sure if this is a good idea or not but...... I am a 24 year old male how recently lost my father, grand father, a close friend and now my great uncle....my dad's uncle.....in the past year since I moved to where my family is I have lost some many people that are close to me. It is a year and a half since I left my home state and I feel lost at times and want to fall to my knees, look to the sky and ask why? I was never home because of family issues when I was younger but I knew I had to do something to have closure before my dad passed. I know it sounds like I am depressed but I am not even sure....I just feel cold.... My dad would always tell me "when life knocks you down you have to pick yourself up by the boot straps no matter how much it hurts. If you don't things will become harder for you and that the weight can be hard enough to handle, but you have to pick yourself up and keep moving on"
I try to keep this in mind but I just don't know. I find it hard for myself to get close to people and put on a mask to cover the pain even though it hurts bad. I just don't want to involve people in this but I know it is not working. I.....I am confused how I keep moving forward with college recovering from a injury and not being able to go to work because of it....I am just rambling but it kind of helps. I am not suicidal or anything like that, the thought hasn't crossed my mind I just feel so tired.
I don't know if anyone will read this or not but if you do I appreciate the fact you took the time to read this and bear some of my weight. Thank you from a 24 old male
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replied October 18th, 2013
I feel really sorry for your loss, be strong, these are things life throws at you independently of what you do, it is not your fault, and you can't change it. The only real help is time, the time will heal everything, and maybe someone to talk to, nice thing that would help you is to light some nice candles for your people, talk to them a bit, show them love, they love you also, and to know they are still connected with you. Or try to do something nice in their name for this world. Take care xo
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replied October 18th, 2013
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Overcoming grief depression over a loss or death of a family member is a difficult process. Whether the departure of a loved one is sudden, or has been anticipated over a period of time, we experience a powerful and complex range of emotions of grief - including disbelief, shock, anger, hatred, guilt, loss of faith, fear of the future, loneliness, regret. Going through this is a normal part of the grieving process and is necessary to reconcile ourselves in some way so that we can move on from the experience to become a better, stronger person with a greater sense of purpose in life as a result.
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replied October 18th, 2013
Thank you for your words of support, it has been a difficult process for me and my family. It's hard for me because I watched my Dad die in front of me and couldn't do anything to help. I've honestly been doing better, it's just I'm going through a rough patch since I was told I have P.C.S. (post concussion syndrome). My life is on hold and things get bumpy at times but I try to make the best of it.
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