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I am hearing voices (Page 1)

I am a Healthy 16 year old male with no family history of mental disease. I am top of my class. Yet I have been hearing a voice in my head separate from my own for as long as I can I remember and in the last several years he has taken on the image of a 45 year old man who i see on a regular basis. He has dubbed himself Mr. Smith (Cliche to the last but I am being serious so please listen) and constantly engages me in conversation about things i should not forget or things I may have missed that are important. He also helps me work through problems as well as offer a more logical opinion on certain subjects. As a result he seems to be more beneficial than problematic. His advice is what has helped me excel in classes my entire life. But lately he has been keeping me awake to all hours of the night. He has me planning so many things i can no longer buy enough journals to accommodate him. Not to mention he has me planning some dark things at some points. Such as defense strategies in the event of an assault or robber. Many of the plans leave the robber alive for an extended amount of time while the most ungodly experiments are done to him for punishment. He also has me pursuing a career as a trauma surgeon in order to make use of my interest in the medical field. I now fear he will drive me over the edge with his exhaustive planning. I attend martial arts and many of his plans for victory in a combat situation go to far and i have been reprimanded on many an occasion for going to far in an sparring round. He is becoming increasingly protective of me and is turning more violent in the process thus my concern. I was wondering if anything like this has existed before hand in the medical world and if it has how people have dealt with it. I would rather stay away from any sort of drugs as i do not wish to get rid of Mr. Smith as he has helped me through most my life and i fear i can not survive without his existence.
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First Helper W0LF
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Users who thank jamesartemis for this post: inconnu 

replied January 13th, 2010
Extremely eHealthy
jamesartemis
It's important for you to acknowledge that Mr. Smith is you. There is nobody else living in your head. This is not a supernatural event. Your ego is fragmented and you have a voice in your head just like everyone else but it isn't identifying itself as you and your externalizing of this voice is causing it to have the ability to interfere with your life and to encourage you to engage in behavior that you know isn't healthy.

This is schizophrenia or a schzo/MPD varient. You need therapy to bring Mr. Smith's direction and wisdom into your life without being controlled by him. Talk to a psychologist about what you're going through.
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Users who thank W0LF for this post: jamesartemis 

replied January 13th, 2010
I have attended therapy under many different psychologists. They tested me repeatedly and found that it was indeed a variant of schizophrenia but one they had not seen before for most voices suffered are incoherent whisperings of multiple unidentified voices that mainly give a strong emotion than articulate ideals. The resulting emotion influence thought patterns such as paranoid schizophrenia. I however have a rather beneficial single voice and visual representative. They dont know what to call it. But the reason i consult the internet is very simple. I live in a small town in Texas where we only have three Psychology majors. I do realize that Mr. Smith is just a figment of my ever expanding psyche and i assure you he is no supernatural event but i do enjoy the company and would just like some tips on how to deal with him without medication. (tried it once and i will never do it again)Thank you very much for your insight i do appreciate the thoughts.
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replied January 13th, 2010
Extremely eHealthy
jamesartemis
There's a reason you've not heard of a non-medical solution to Schizophrenia. The only practical treatment for the disorder is medication and psychotherapy depending on it's severity. Anything else is a gamble with your health and ultimately very much so your sanity. If you're not satisfied with the psychiatric care available in your town, move. It is your life, do whatever you need to to recover from this.
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replied January 14th, 2010
I agree with W0LF, if you are in disagreement with Mr. Smith whom you acknowledge is yourself then treatment is the only way to go. It's curious that you wish to keep Mr. Smith and I believe you won't be able to take control until you fully acknowledge that Mr. Smith is yourself. I myself plan defensive counters to people and sometimes it goes to far, but with concentration I can alter those thoughts. If you are entertaining the thoughts with your concentration upon them rather then altering them then you are the one making the actions and influencing yourself.
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Users who thank timmythethird for this post: jamesartemis 

replied January 15th, 2010
Shadows
James, it's not schizophrenia. There's a lot of self-shrink, quasi-religious and semi-scientific material on manifesting your 'shadow'. Whether you made a 'parent' personality (imbued with the traits you find strengths), or this simply represents the darker side of your mentality... No one can decide for you. People won't question an established faith out of respect for individual beliefs, yet they persecute individuals with a belief outside of established faith...
The question is if this is something you want to believe in because you can't believe in yourself? Do you need something bad to tell you that you're doing good? If so, then both self-preservation and morality must weigh in. You need a moral code to live by whether you believe in Mr. Smith or anything else. And you need to be strong enough to not be controlled by anything, included a fractured part of yourself (be it mind or soul). That type of surety requires introspection, and serious deliberation. It will never end. He probably wont 'just go away'. And pieces always want to be whole- it will want to be fed. But any professional will tell you the answers are all in your head... as is He. Get it? Wink
If it's telling you to hurt yourself or others, in any way, then it's obviously not good for you.
Don't make manipulation more complicated or mysterious than it is.

P.S You want to look at dissociative identity disorder. There's no such thing as MPD anymore, get hip. DID is an extreme aspect of 'the displaced self', over PTSD and dispersonalization. Childhood traumas create adult crises. I'm not saying to lose yourself in specifics, I'm suggesting you might find yourself easier to understand and predict. Figure out why you let something in, before it takes you over.x
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replied January 15th, 2010
If dissociative disorders don't fit you or your situation, I understand some psychotics get the 'alter ego', as well. I think it really branches across many kinds of minds, but in that case, what you are describing as escalating instruction and planning does fit the pattern. Check the criteria yourself with the DSM IV, 293. If you see a lot of similarities, talk to someone you actually trust, because it can be dealt with. Therapy and medication may greatly assist you, but it is a personal battlefield you're on.
You need regular sleep, and all the other basics to keep your perspective. Take some control and structure your thoughts, then structure your actions.
It's really not about controlling the world, but yourself.
If you can't pace and discipline yourself, you will snap.

You're bright, and bright lights cast deep shadows, so keep a close eye on yours...
Mr. Smith won't be testifying on your behalf- careful of his counsel.
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replied January 15th, 2010
Experienced User
why is it a kid with an imaginary friend gets called extremely intelligent, yet a 16 year old gets called a skitzophrenic, what is the difference??? i mean no offence with this question as i know nothing about skizophrenia, but it does interest me the fact that jamesartemis is v different from the stereotypical skizophrenic whereby you only here the one voice x
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Users who thank dianna25 for this post: jamesartemis 

replied January 15th, 2010
Extremely eHealthy
Because having externalized personalities is normal when you're a young child. When your age hits double-digits children gain a tighter grasp on logic and reasoning and they generally dismiss those friends that nobody else can see. When those friends persist with manifested rational that defies logic, it's not so glamorous.

Hearing a single voice is very common for Schizophrenics, especially mania/schizophrenia. Nothing is stereotypical about the disorder. It is as unique as the human mind.
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replied January 15th, 2010
I agree with WOLF, But is there any change that you could have Depression jamesartemis? It may not be manic depression but I am experiencing depression at one point when I was not diagnosed with it, I was seeing people that were not there and hearing voices, then when I was Diagnosed as an event happened which did scare my parents, I started hearing one voice then seeing a person, a woman.
I wasn't diagnosed with schizophrenia and in no sort of it but depression.
You seem to hold on to Mr.Smith and depends on him like as a smoker and a cigarette, You seem to need him and that was what I was like with 'Vicky' the woman, The only way to stop the hostile thoughts are to not need him any more and I know that seems out of the question and hard to let go but I am afraid that if you don't do so like I did, you will endanger your health, I did. But I don't want you too, Mr.Smith may seem trusting, loyal and a friendly face but in time he will become your worst nightmare as you said:

'But lately he has been keeping me awake to all hours of the night. He has me planning so many things i can no longer buy enough journals to accommodate him. Not to mention he has me planning some dark things at some points. Such as defense strategies in the event of an assault or robber. Many of the plans leave the robber alive for an extended amount of time while the most ungodly experiments are done to him for punishment. He also has me pursuing a career as a trauma surgeon in order to make use of my interest in the medical field. I now fear he will drive me over the edge with his exhaustive planning. I attend martial arts and many of his plans for victory in a combat situation go to far and i have been reprimanded on many an occasion for going to far in an sparring round. He is becoming increasingly protective of me and is turning more violent in the process thus my concern.'

See what I mean, He is a friend and soon will become your worst nightmare, 'Vicky' did with me, keeping me up all night, Scaring me with dark thoughts, making me very scared of my surrounding and almost controlling my life.

Thanks for read and please think about it, It is a hard thing to put in consideration but please do.

Faithy.
P.S. And If you wanted to know how old I am, I am 15 going on 16 on Feb 6th.
Thanks and good luck.
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Users who thank xfaithx123 for this post: jamesartemis 

replied January 15th, 2010
Active User, very eHealthy
Wow, what a complete piece of cuhrap this place is.

No one can ever tell when something [removed by admin] happening. This is going to get ugly.

I'm not saying that something [removed by admin] happening to you, Im saying if it does, no one will ever be sure that it is. Perhaps they can mimic actual mental disorders. Or perhaps they create them, or perhaps none of us have mental disorders, maybe it's been them all along.

I really need to know.

In my case, I happen to know who I am, the things that I can know and the things that I would never know, simply put how can I be a that and my voices or whatever be super smart?
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replied January 16th, 2010
Extremely eHealthy
I can say without certainty when something [removed by admin] happening Woops. It's when what's happening isn't natural. It's not rocket science. If jamesartemis gets evaluated and they find no sign of a mental disorder at work then obviously something [removed by admin] happening. However it's best to assume [removed by admin] going on, since more often than not, things are natural.
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replied January 17th, 2010
I thank you all for your opinions. However i recently set up a psych test in Houston at a respected hospital (Name withheld for privacy reasons). They will evaluate my mental fitness over a period of 3 days with a battery of mental and physical stress tests. My I.Q. shall be evaluated as well. They are all professionals in their own field and i trust them to give me an accurate picture of whats going on. I will tell you the results when i come back. Thank you again and best of luck.
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replied January 17th, 2010
It's not easy being so turned on all the time... You'll make your own decisions after everyone weighs in. Just don't let them put you in a box.
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Users who thank XYZ93 for this post: jamesartemis 

replied January 20th, 2010
I am currently in the Hospital with nothing to do. I am to be released in 4 hours. My results are less concerning than i would have imagined. It seems i have an I.Q. of 183 which is a result from my brain using both Hemispheres equally. To keep itself sane my brain fractured. Keeping the rushing thoughts and constant calculations separate from my conscious mind. This explains my whisperings and over analysis as a younger child, seeing as my brain was still trying to sort itself out. While my conscious mind remained intact and able to carry on social interaction my subconscious was growing more and more volatile with the constant activity it endured thus my brain saw fit to assign it a personality of its own in order to better handle itself and its stored information. So Mr. Smith was born. He became a voice of reason and the regulator of information. My doctors claim that the violent and brutal thoughts experienced during fights is simply Mr. Smith doing his job. He is providing the best information from my memory in order to bring the best results from the fight. The long nights of planning is the only real danger he poses according to the doctors. This they say is his version of rem sleep. You see rem sleep is when the brain arranges all of its "files" collected during the day and stores them correctly. Unfortunately Mr. Smith does not technically sleep and has grown used to functioning during conscious thought so he does his version of rem by making me wright things out. This way while i reiterate his stored thoughts and plans my brain stores them away for later reference in his personality. They offered me medication to help me sleep but i refused. So yes in short Mr. Smith is me. He is the representative of the other half of my fractured psyche. Now to answer the question whether or not this has been seen before. The answer is yes and no. They claim that many people have shown fracturing due to being well geniuses. However most who fractured did so later in life and lost most if not all grip on reality. Their thoughts consuming them. I however started relatively early, fractured perfectly, and respectfully speaking "for the better". Had i not gone down the mental path exactly as i did according to the lead psychologist i would be a and i quote "another useless babbling kook". I am one of a kind according to them and should be "Studied and documented". Ha. I know what that means. Needless to say i declined their invitation to attend their special "school". I am to return home and complete my studies. I wish to become a criminal psychologist. I have always been fascinated with sociopaths. I would love to talk to one in person one day. Thank you all for your support and i shall continue to visit this site daily to offer some of my own insight. Goodnight.
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replied January 23rd, 2010
crazy people
It's sort of a compliment to be told you've gone down the right wrong path, isn't it? Don't worry about the sociopaths. Most of the people who truly fit that diagnosis aren't worth your time. When you're outside the measurable box, but still within the parameters (not just a 'kook'), company becomes hard to come by, and people who impress you even more so. You have a lot of work cut out impressing whatever watches you, and yourself. Let go of normal/abnormal, and you find out you can't be yourself, because you're too many things... Then you're not just standing alone, but beside yourself, with no one and nothing and everything else (=
Reality is frightening and terrible. Our whole lives are spent trying to avoid it, change it, escape it. If you're functioning on a darker, different or higher level, the opportunities and illusions are difficult to discern. But truth is painfully obvious to you- that's why you're looking for answers. I've finally started to accept that there really is no point, except the one you make. No one can tell you the truth, so you manipulate yourself even better than anyone else, but it's a way of learning lessons no one else can teach you. And by you, I mean me. jh
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replied January 23rd, 2010
Experienced User
jamesartemis u refer to your iq as being 183, which leads me back to my point, kids being extremely intellegent but adult skizophrenic? why cant this been seen as such in adults too? it is quite easy just from your very 1st post to see just how mature and intellegent you really are, just because your able to interact with mr smith and understand him more than a child would does not make you skizophrenic, why should it have to be labelled any differently than a child, your are simply and now proven to be just extremely intelligent! the mind is a wonderful and extremely complex thing, and if yours is to give you this "Mr smith" who is to say that this is wrong, this is merely your minds way of coping with your vast intellegence! and what in the world is wrong with that? obviously you have some issues with this mr smith but thats a different topic all together! i was really happy reading your post of your findings while in the hospital! and really glad for you! the criminal phsycology job you talk of is also one i would love to do myself, the whole idea of how the mind works, and being able to study it through people whos minds work in a totally different way to my own leading them to the crimes they commit really does fascinate me! i wish you well in your venture towards this career, and in life x
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replied January 24th, 2010
Related revisitation of woops' comment:

A person's intelligence is one thing. but when I refer to being too aware, it's because I'm having an experience no one can deny, confirm, or relate to. We have different parts and levels to our minds, the creations of which seem foreign until we discover where they came from- us. But that's not to say other things aren't hiding in the maze...
[removed by admin] a strong and loaded word, and beyond our understanding is very vague. We are somewhat supernatural because of our brains, but they aren't beyond understanding. Just because we don't doesn't mean much- I'm not much impressed with human understanding or progress. Still a fan of monolith theory... and our brains are still evolving, especially in the area of thought and feeling. There really is a battlefield in the mind. A physical front. That tells me we're fighting something. Why would we develop advanced perceptual tools if we didn't need them? If only physical conflict exists, why the big brain?
Forcibly caused experiences change our perception and alter our consciousness for varied lengths of time. I could believe that events, environment, and brain chemistry put holes in our mental defenses. Who can say the painfully aware or traumatized don't have some things plaguing them besides memories? I also think a lot of traumatized people (especially children) literally beg for something to come in, take over, make it better. Explain the world they can't otherwise understand or function in. Basically, we beg for something to help.
I know i did. I asked, and indeed something appeared... Said to call him Mark, because it didn't really matter. I only say this because no one will believe me. If there any disembodied sentience among us, our needs are certainly not what it has in mind, besides those that benefit it. Us knowing about it is not a concern. All invaders want something- to be fed. If something fed on mental energy or willpower, would it not prey on the brightest-yet-weakened? Those who will produce the most of what it needs, and can be manipulated into giving it up?
I can't say if that idea is 'real', and if so I doubt our personal definitions are accurate. Senses are meant to be illusory- they can only make up an appearance based on the data received. But an alcoholic refers to drinking as a demon- one they picked up to fill a hole. Did something come with the bottle? Maybe there was a real reason the symbiotic concept behind Venom was so alluring and frightening, and easily grasped.
If you believe something (whatever) made us, it has to be recognized it didn't leave an instruction manual, and hasn't come around to tell us about us or itself. We've been given no reason. My belief is that any such 'creator' is either not our friend, is dead, gone, or actually left itself in our minds. Scary what darkness lies behinds that intelligence...

James, I don't know what you'll think of my little tangent, but I'd be interested if after your time with the doctors, you feel they gave you a truly valid explanation. Basically, has it helped you sleep any better at night?
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Users who thank XYZ93 for this post: mattnzguy 

replied January 25th, 2010
Not 100% convinced
I don't know if anyone else who read jamesartemis original post had the same experience as me. I found traces of highly imaginative story writing in his posts. Probably one of the most thought provoking stories I have come across on this site/subject.

Are you jamesartemis really this one of a kind person having these experiences as you have described, or is the post about putting up a strong resistance towards the current treatments for Schizophrenia? How did you get to go through this process so fast with Auditory/Visual Hallucinations/acting on commands from the hallucination and be awarded non-medicated diagnosis? From your first post it sounds very convenient with your desire to both keep him & not take pills with side effects. I am sorry to question your story here but it sounds like a schizophrenics fantasy?

Are you absolutely sure you are not a schizophrenic in need of medication? If it was a psychiatric venue you would have been medicated for your hallucinations without any consideration of your iq. I am prepared to consider for myself that Mr smith is imagined and helps with the left & right hemispheres of your brain cope with the hi iq but to come out with a diagnosis of the split brain theory after just 3 days of observation must have meant that you downplayed the hallucination aspect at the hospital. I have been involved in the Psychiatric Hospital system myself and all of this does not match up with your original post. Many patients become scared and hide the severity of what's going on in order not to be admitted for longer periods. If this has been you then you must re-evaluate any diagnosis given so far. Alternatively, Mr Smith imagined over a long period of time, you may not be able to differentiate how real he is but we are talking like hearing a real voice and seeing a physical character here. How vivid is he? Maybe you labelled incorrectly in your original post. I hope so.

Based on the nature of what is going on sounds like your non Mr Smith self who is following directions from the unknown quantity in Mr smith who is building up resources for some kind of preparation of violence, I do not know how you didn't wind up being admitted for a longer period and medicated to try and rid him. What are we all missing here? If you really are telling the truth about yourself I would like to know more about the test results and comments about your dopamine, serotonin, NE levels, what is happening across the brain synapse in your head since you are such a special individual.

Also if you are someone with this all going on regardless of what diagnosis you are told, you would want to maybe consider not encouraging this situation to exist at all and seek how to make that happen even if medication is necessary? The way the story has been written so far I feel a train wreck is ahead. Mr Smith is a planner and it scares me that he has you arming up & preparing for combat. Also I don't know whether you saw this when you wrote the posts but when you stated you would like to meet a sociopath one day and you are planning to keep Mr Smith around, who is giving you instructions towards violence...

What did Mr Smith say about you writing this post and going to the Psychiatric inpatient hospital? He must have had some play in all of this. If he wants to remain still only one part of your split ego then surely he had no involvement? Perhaps in posting all this and manipulation with the process you were both just trying to get the approval of remaining in what you already sense is a volatile relationship heading for imminent danger? Please elaborate so we can all understand how your case gets to be so unique and clear of danger.

To re-iterate what others have said already be really really careful with all this. If there is even the slightest possibility you could have wrong diagnosis here you are currently untreated with a seriously dangerous condition. Having such a high IQ works against you as you are capable of being a master of manipulation in single or dual form. You have no control and the story will write the rest of itself out if you keep the character and he gets to grow himself into a situation he can do whatever he wants without consequence. The whole thing reminds me of the Tarentino movie " True Romance " mixed with a bit with Ed Nortan's character in Primal Fear.

Sorry for all that will get offended over my challenging all this but it all sounds way too constructed in my opinion . James, I am praying that everything goes well for you.

Matt
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Users who thank mattnzguy for this post: jamesartemis 

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replied January 25th, 2010
Hey matt, im so glad that im not the only one that feels that there are some slight exaggerations in james's story. for instance, james, how can you be on here whilst in the hospital undergoing tests. surely your not aloud any electrical appliances near important machinery which may be affected by the electric. i apologise if your story is real, but i just cant believe it. especially since my older brother is schizophrenic.....
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Users who thank tonya94 for this post: jamesartemis 
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