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I am depressed because my heart is broken.

I was a freshman in college. I say was because its summer time and I am now offically a sophmore. But i had to transfer from my first college because of something at home, but I loved my first college. At this school, I met this girl. She's a volleyball player. Only one word can truely describe her,amazing. She's blonde, tall, southern, the nicest person I know and loves sports. Hell she knows more about some sports then I do. In the first semster I had a crush on her, I say crush cause you know I liked her, but still was flirting with other girls. Then the second semster started and I talked to her and hang out with her like every day. We got really close. Then one day I told her I liked her. She said no that she only viewed me as a friend and that we could still be friends. After that we really opened up to each other and got closer. Then one night, after a looooooooooong night of drinking I told her loved her. Needless to say it became awkard for me to talk to her even after she tried to talk to me. So my last night at the school I went out to a bar to say my good byes and I saw her. We talked for a loong time and she told me she wanted me to find a great girl and I told her she was the one and she unfourently told me she was talking to my really good friend. Now summer comes I date a grl for 2 weeks, while still talking to my best friend, the girl. Then the girl I was dating calle dit off cause she had feelings for her ex. So yesterday I told my friend I stll had intense feelings for her and she never reponded. So afew days after I talked to my friend she told me she liked my really good friend and infact they had been going out for a week. After being told this I can't sleep, i've become moody and pissed and I can't concentrate on stuff that is not this girl. I sleep I dream about my friend. She's my first thought in the morning.Now I don't know what to do? I need help!
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First Helper Sports6089
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replied May 26th, 2009
Extremely eHealthy
hi and am sorry to hear about this....all i can suggest is for you to go out with some of your friends and chill, because i know you still want to be friends with her as to not loose contact with her but if you feel this deeply about her and it is making you this upset then you really need to break contact in order for you to regain yourself. i know it is gonna be really hard for you but if you dont do this you are going to make yourself ill and you will push everyone else away that you care about with you moodyness. good luck jenny
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replied May 26th, 2009
i'm depressed cause of heartbreak
Thank you for that Jenny. And I have been told I need to break contact with her, by some of my close friends, who are friends with both of us and know the situation. They've said that she wouldn't want to see me as upset as i've become and that it would hurt her to see me like this. I have already started breaking away last week I did not talk to her on facebook, we talked every day on facebook. Except yesterday I had a brief conversation with her. But I know I need to break contact with her, but i'm having alot of trouble can you advise me on somethings i could do? I would also liek to add i have thought about what would have happened if I had never had known her and maybe it was a mistake ever becoming friends with her and maybe i ruined my life worrying over her and that if i had a time machine i wouldn't have hung out with her or talked to her and maybe i wouldn't feel this way and maybe it would have been better for her to if i hadn't met her that way she wouldn't have to worry about me
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replied May 26th, 2009
Experienced User
I know how you feel dude...
Heart Broken, I know how that feels dude, and I'm sorry for you.

your close friends are right. And what you say about the time machine part is what I thought aswell for me...

listen to me, keep talking to her for a week and during that time write a letter of everything that you want to say (take your time at this part), write everything that you feel when around her and what you want her to feel if she was your girlfriend.
Once you've written all this down, ask her to meet with you somewhere alone. Memorize what you written down and say everything that needs to be said, say how much you love her and finish it with the fact that you can't be around her because you love her too much (watch the ending of Jerry Maguire, that will give you some inspiration for things to say)

then leave...leave don't look back when walking away, and remember be gentle when around her the last time. Leave without a trace, delete her from facebook, etc...

you'll feel heartbroken, terrible in fact. But the beginning is the hardest, and if you need some help just write to me. I'll be there to motivate you through that part, people say it's time that heals a broken heart...I believe it's those good memories of our loved one that poisons our heart that is broken...in other words, if there was a pill to delete that special person from our brain then time would never be the healer...

Peace, dude. You know where to find me.
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replied May 26th, 2009
Thank you for all of that. I know I tried to write a letter and every time, I just get scared cause I know if I do that, that's it after that we won't be friends anymore I don't want to our friendship, but I cannot be friends with her everytime we do hang out as friends I think, why couldn't it be more. I actually tried to tell her we couldn't be friends cause it hurt to much once, she quickly dismissed it and said we would be life long friends. But I just can't with her every time I look or talk to her it just hurts my heart
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replied May 26th, 2009
Experienced User
Like GIVING candy to a baby...
It's like giving candy to a baby...you try to say "it can't work out" and she gives you a taste of what she has in mind "Life long friends" as in "I don't want to lose you" and that makes it even harder to leave...I know that you worship her and all (like how I loved mine) but you are the MAN! you got to sound confident and be strong when confronting her...

Dude, it's like a bandade it's gonna sting a the first moments but believe me, it is worth it. Take me for an example, heartbroken is like if we're drowning we can't see above water, it's suffercating, hard and there's no way out. Me, well let's just say that I starting to breath the air for the first time, that means it's progressing...

Dude it's simple...look on this forum see how many are basically in the same sitaution as you and me... in the end, they'll probably say that it was worth it. Because it was "bad mental health" staying in touch with "her" or "him". Even talking about this is making me worry if I'm gonna think about mine tonight, but hear me when I say, I'm staring to feel my hearts reparing itself... and that mine was a love that we planned our lives together, the whole Story...sad, Iknow for especially when I was in my corner, crying... but I'm staring to feel "alive" again.

You Can Do It! Trust me...
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replied May 26th, 2009
Experienced User
Like GIVING candy to a baby...
It's like giving candy to a baby...you try to say "it can't work out" and she gives you a taste of what she has in mind "Life long friends" as in "I don't want to lose you" and that makes it even harder to leave...I know that you worship her and all (like how I loved mine) but you are the MAN! you got to sound confident and be strong when confronting her...

Dude, it's like a bandade it's gonna sting a the first moments but believe me, it is worth it. Take me for an example, heartbroken is like if we're drowning we can't see above water, it's suffercating, hard and there's no way out. Me, well let's just say that I starting to breath the air for the first time, that means it's progressing...

Dude it's simple...look on this forum see how many are basically in the same sitaution as you and me... in the end, they'll probably say that it was worth it. Because it was "bad mental health" staying in touch with "her" or "him". Even talking about this is making me worry if I'm gonna think about mine tonight, but hear me when I say, I'm staring to feel my hearts reparing itself... and that mine was a love that we planned our lives together, the whole Story...sad, Iknow for especially when I was in my corner, crying... but I'm staring to feel "alive" again.

You Can Do It! Trust me...
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replied May 26th, 2009
How long did it take you to get over her? I just liked cried myself to sleep last night over this girl i just can't get her out of my mind everytime shes online I want to talk to her. Everytime the cavs lose, she's a big lebron fan, I want to text her and make fun of her like we used to do, but I know I can't
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replied May 26th, 2009
*sigh*
wow i'm really sorry i'm not going to be able to say anything helpful...but i had to say something because that is exactly how i feel the only difference is that while you're talking about a girl i'm talking about a guy. i just had to let you know that you described how I'M feeling right now better than i ever could.
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replied May 26th, 2009
I found alot of peope ahve the same problem like I do and i'm glad I finally have people I can talk this over with cause even though I love my friends and they do me I can't tell them everything i've felt
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replied May 27th, 2009
Experienced User
me...well
for me, well I haven't gotten over her completely, I still think about her, but I'm beginning to forget her a bit what is good...

to answer your question, it's been a year since we split (so we don't really have the same situation, you and me) and it's been 6-8 months that I built my nerve to delete from my life...

Do I regret it? yes, but if I think to myself how I felt last year...I now know that I'm feeling much better now than before... I'm starting to forget.
It's sad, I know...love...when we have to go our own seperate ways because the other doesn't love us back, or whatever... to say goodbye and never see each other again. But hey, keep your chin up and know that you WILL find love again.

I'm not saying mine's been easy, I've drank a lot, eaten junk food, hey my health is plummeting so I've been depressed...not to mention, I'm a bit cynical now.

If you can say goodbye to her, well then what you need after is a distraction, something to occupy your mind, me, I watched all the 24 series with Jack Bauer and I find it to be great. I've also dide other things aswell...like video games...

You see dude, Our heart is like a baby. the "girl" or "guy" we love is like the newest toy in the store, we get it, we hold it, we cherish it... then when we need to say goodbye, the toy goes away and our hearts start to ache (or metaphorically the "baby starts to cry") the only way to calm the baby (metaphorically our heart) is to give the baby a distraction, something to quiet the baby down...(not another girl, but more like partying with friends, watching films, etc...)
My explanation is a bit complicated I know but it's still logical...

If you ever do it, well good for you, it's gonna eat you inside, and it's gonna be painful, just live your life day by day, don't think ahead, keep your head down and avoid things that remind you of her...baby steps first dude...

Peace.
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replied May 27th, 2009
Supporter
i m sorry you feel this way. when you really like someone it would be hard to hear that person likes your friend.

you can stay her friends only if you can handle it. i only say this b/c it seems like she is a pretty decent person. she didnt lead you on, she told you that yall can be friends.
please don't be mad at me, but you feeling that way about her, and her only wanting to be your friend. did you think about how uncomfortable you made her feel when you would say certain things.
women will come and go, there will be another beautiful women that will be into you.
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replied May 28th, 2009
Experienced User
from the previous post...
...yeah but ServiceU, if the next person sports6089 meets and it's a beautiful girl, there'll still be one thing missing : love...
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replied May 29th, 2009
to service u, yes I have thought about the things i had said have creeped her out, but she said no they didn't. SHe said she understands where i'm coming from and she says the things i said did not freak her out and I did nothing wrong to her and i shouldn't apologize.

This girl is perfect in every sense of the word. I love sports, and the fact that she can debate sports with me is such a turn on. But she is also the kindest person I know and a bombshell. She really lieks my friend who she's been going with for a week and every time their on face book and post on each others walls with hey babe and all that stuff it hurts cause i just want to say why not me. That should be me. I wake up in the morning and I think to myself why not me. Why didn't she like me as more then a friend cause that's all I am and ever will be to her.

I would take a bullet for her, no questions asked. Infact I already fell on a grenade for her, metaphorically speaking. Ok so my college is a d 2 school, small. So alot of people know alot of people and word travels around fast. So my friend, the girl i'll call her K, she likes to flirt with guys, but she doesn't just hook up/ do guys infact she's only made out with one guy at the school and that's all. But because she's such a flirt, a rumor spread that she was a girl who got around with guys. WHich I know for a fact is not true. So i went off on the people who said stuff about her. I defended her. Turns out these people, had a problem with her cause she didn't want to date one of their brothers, yes this was a group of fratenerity guysthat said this stuff. So i challenged them all to a fight of course they backed down cause i had a bunch of people with me. But I would do anything for her, I would fight anyone for her. ANd i know he wouldn't and it sucks to know that

Tonight i don't know why but i have thought about just driving my car into a guardrail or something. Just ending it so she doesnt have to think about me anymore. i'll be out of her life forever and that way she won't have to deal with me and my friend and her can have a good life together and not have to worry about me anymore
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replied May 30th, 2009
Supporter
that's just your hurt talking! if you drive into a guardrail and become paralized, then you would wish you handnt done it.
give it some time to heal.
i've been hurt many times i know how you feel.
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replied June 16th, 2009
guys i messed up big time with her last night and yesterday. Everything was going good and stuff. She was my friend again and we were joking and stuff, then my other friend decided to mess with my facebook and started posing as me and talking to her and said some stuff that shouldn't have been said, but she knew it was my friend cause she texted me. Then i told her that was my fault and started blaming myself for that and she tried to calm me down. Then we started talking about the stuff that happened this year and I upset her she kept telling me to stop talking about the events that happened and i ended up accusing her of saying some bad stuff about me which she never said and that really got to her. So today i texted her and aplogized and she jokingly said she was mad but i didnt know she was joking and when i asked her not to be mad she flipped out on me saying it was a joke and what did she think she was a psycho that was always mad. So we talked for a bit and she said we were cool, but i messed up. I've noticed i have a self destructive pattern when it comes to girls and i think i lost a friend today and im about to cry as im typing this cause i didn't want to lose her, my best friend, as a friend, but i have
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replied June 16th, 2009
Supporter
why would you say you lost a friend when she said she's not mad.
you have to live a drama free life, with drama free friends. i dont know the whole story about the facebook issue, it's not important for me to know but it seems like a bunch of drama. whether it was your friend that started something....drama!!!
somethings we have to bit out tongue, and sometimes we have to just let things go because it's not the right time to speak your mind.
i think your over exaggerating the situation. but if you fall, get up and try again.
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replied November 20th, 2012
The same problem...
Hey, guys.
I'm here with you `cause I`m also suffering from my broken heart.
I don't know this guy very well, but he's become my reason to live. It's weird, I know that. But the first thing I think about when I wake up is him. The thing I draw in my fantasies before I fall asleep is him.
We often talk in my dreams. I tell him lots of silly things, listen to him, kiss him, though I know that it's lies I'm telling to myself.
Last night I dreamt that I went back home (both of us live in Japan now). I cried so much in my dream, so desperately - I couldn't stop. I prayed, I asked somebody to stop it. I cried, `cause I knew - I would never see him again.
What a relief to wake up in my bed, in Kyoto... And what a relief to know that he's in the same city, to know that he also will wake up, go to his work, that he will drink his coffee and breathe in the same air as I breathe in...
But still, he doesn't love me and I'm not sure that I will see him again anymore... I wrote to him again. I wanted to see him. But it's useless...
Yeah, guys, you're right. We should end it by ourselves. But I'm so afraid... I wanted to send him a message yesterday - to say goodbye, to tell him I love him. But I know that it will be the END. And I'm afraid. I have hope, but I will kill it with such a message.
I don't know what to do...
Sorry.. I feel that I also need help....(((((
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