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Husband wants to be a polygamist??!! What to do?

I'm going to try to sum this up as best as I can.

My husband and I have been married for 2 years. We tried having a family right away, as we both wanted to have a large family. I had a miscarriage very early on. We moved back to my home state (we were living in his across the country) for work. Right after getting here he begins acting distant from me, like overnight, not gradual. I finally got him to talk and tell me what was bothering him. He said if he could go back, he would've become a polygamist so he could have as many kids as possible. I told him we can still have a very large family, but he said that wouldn't be enough. He'd regret never trying to have more. So he got on "Christian polygamy" dating sites behind my back, put our photos on their and a description of us and began emailing women. I told him to take it down immediately. He did. No remorse on his part. At this point I was frazzled and didn't know what to do. I left for a couple weeks and stayed with family, trying to get some space and clear my head. He kept calling and saying he loved me. But never said sorry or that he would change. I asked if he regretted marrying me - he said "yes". He created his own profile on numerous "Christian polygamy" dating sites and began chatting with numerous women. After coming into our office and finding chats between him and women he had either saved or forgot to close out of, I was torn up. I moved into a separate apartment within the same apartment complex (we own it, so it's convenient), we've been living separate for almost 9 months now. He only gets on the site maybe once a week now. I put a key logger on the computer so I can see everything he does. He'll tell girls about me, saying he didn't really think through what he truly wanted before getting married, saying we're married but separated and that he doesn't believe in divorce because we are Christians. Yet he somehow doesn't think polygamy is wrong?!
We have discussed things numerous times. He says he has to keep trying until he fails. Which he admits he is, as no women are really emailing him back. He's never called or met any of them. He has texted a few c while back.
I want to repair our marriage, but I don't know how. I have tried remaining a Godly wife, but that seems to irritate him. He says I'm the ideal wife. Yet not enough for him I suppose? :/

I feel lost on what to do. I can't save a marriage alone right? He admits he's checked out on us for the most part and when I ask if he still loves me, he asks "what do you mean by that"? It's like he's void of emotions since all of this happened. He literally changed overnight. Maybe he's bipolar. I don't know. I feel like I'm waiting for nothing. Should I just leave and start over?

Any advice......
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replied November 7th, 2014
Hello and Welcome

I appreciate your concern

Thank you for sharing such personal information in detail. The situation is very complex and you need to have an idea of complex problems having complex solutions, they wont be straight forward by the book. The only thing that might benefit both of you is if you guys on the advise of a neutral family member which both of you trust come to a conclusion to undergo combined therapy sessions with a trained psychiatrist, so that every issue is on the table and there isn't room for hidden feelings and agendas. Things will get much clearer. I hope you guys work your problems out.

wishing you best of health


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