I am so glad I found this forum... My husband has bi polar and takes lithium and antidepressents. He functions well in society and most people think he is the nicest guy in the world! that is until he comes home.... Once he is home he is moody, depressed, angry at every little thing, he spends so much money that we are in serious debt, We both have good paying full time jobs and struggle to pay the bills, when I ask him to see the bills he storms off angrily and says I take all his money, he can spend it... ( we also have 3 children) my house is filled with crap he buys and he keeps bringing home animals that after a week he is bored with so I have to clean up after them. he gets infatuated with women at work or on the computer and resents me because I am not like them... He mutilates his toe nails and fingernails. I am fed up and am bringing 4 of his cats to the shelter and I am telling him that any other animals that come home will also go to the shelter. I know he will hate me for this and he will purposely do mean things for about 3 weeks, but I can't live like this. I feel like he is another one of my children and I have little to no respect for him. I know he is sick, but he is so selfish. He always promises to stop spending money and bringing home animals, but it never stops. I have been understanding for 5 years, but I'm fed up! will this ever get better, will the meds ever help or will he always resent me? we have come close to divorce several times and he doesn't want me to leave. I have told him he may be happier away from me, he is alway's so miserable when he is home, I can only assume it's me. Can anyone relate to this. I am lost.
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replied August 16th, 2008
Boundries
He does these things not because he is bipolar but more so that he can and get away with it. Stop being the door mat and set boundaries. It bothers me when people start either making excuses for peoples actions because of the illness or worse yet... stereotyping us as spend thrifts, mean to our loved ones or doing just plain arsine things.

It is what it is....your husband is a over spender and an ass for saying such things to you. You are just as responsible for the budget and monies as he. When a couple is having money issues, its both that are at fault...not just one. Make a budget and stick too it. You bring in monies and work so stand up for yourself.

If he is unwilling to change, do what you have too for you and the kids.
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replied August 16th, 2008
Experienced User
When he goes to see the doctor next time, go with him and tell the doctor that his medications need to be adjusted cause he is still having mood swings and is spending money left and right.

Hope the best for you.
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replied August 18th, 2008
Extremely eHealthy
I agree with nightstar. You need to alert his doctor to the behaviors you witness with your husband. He sounds like he is compulsive - perhaps a bit of obsessive/compulsive disorder is at work here. It is fairly common for bipolar disorder and OCD to overlap as they are comorbid diagnosis for many people. Over spending with such frequency is associated with manic behavior. The obsession with animals is further behavior that suggest OCD and a manic state.

He sounds like he needs to get into the doctor for a medication review. He does not sound like he is stable.

Much of what rock_digger said is true. I do believe that at some point self preservation must prevail and you need to do what you must to take care of you and your children. Abuse is abuse, no excuses. It can not be tolerated from anyone. Yes, bipolar disorder seems to lend itself toward the tendency to become abusive due to mood swings and feeling at odds with the world. That can be resolved with meds and therapy so it is no excuse to be abusive.

Mood disorders are complicated. What you describe are symptoms of instability. A medication tweak or new medication is probably needed. Your husband needs to see the doctor and take care of this.
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replied August 20th, 2008
Husband is bi Polar
Stacela72 I partiality understand these mood swings are terrible to live with
maybe something can be done go to my profile and check out the website.
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