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husband doesn't show love

My husband and i been living together for a few months. We are best friends and thats why we got maried in the first place but lately i have been so depressed. I have not shown it because ever since i meet him he has been depressed. He final found a theripst that he likes. When he came out he was crying and the rest of the day he was acting weird the rest of the day towards me. Later on that night i asked him what he talked about with the theripst? He said about his suprest anger against his parents. I asked him maybe he has some anger agianst me? He said no and i said well i was just asking becuase seems like you do. Then he asked me well everything does not need to be about you! Then we fought more. Then it kead to how he never says he loves me or shows me love. Then he said that everything dose not need to be about you. That itr deosnt need to be a comtshion with me. I dont know what to do anymore? He doesnt help about the house.. he doesnt like to do anything and this deppresion is hurting us alot. When i ask him for help he says he doesnt feel good and leaves. I just want to be loved and he cant do it anymore. Him being depresed is makeing me depersed. I love him but i cant make him happy or do things right for him. What should i do?

-signed wife who wants her happy husband back-
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replied August 31st, 2008
Extremely eHealthy
This very well could be a symtom of Bipolar that even he never knew about. Or never told you about. People are prone to holding back or being in denial. Some of the things if not all of them do minic Bipolar Disorder. I would try any way you could to get him some help. It is not goiing to go away. And it would be a good idea for you to research Bipolar, so you have some idea what it is all about and some of the things you may be able to help yourself get though those times.
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replied September 2nd, 2008
Extremely eHealthy
It seems like your husband is really into the idea of therapy which is great. Therapy can really help someone explore their feelings and help fix up their lives. Perhaps you can suggest couples/marriage counseling to him. That way the two of you could go to be in a safe environment to talk out your problems with the help and guidance of a professional.
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replied September 2nd, 2008
Patience
Hi,

I understand how hard it is to go through something like this with someone you love so much. You would do anything for him, and it sounds as though you feel slightly abandoned, and very hurt.
A few years ago, my boyfriend at the time ( we are now happily married) went through a similar depression. It lasted for about 4 months, and culminated in a brief break-up. I love him very much and decided that i should treat the situation the same way I would if he was physically ill... I waited, I was patient.. I put my feelings on hold, and tried not take anything personally. It sucked, im not going to lie, it was the hardest period of time spending time feeling abandoned by the person i loved the most, but in the end it paid off, our relationship is stronger than ever, and he felt really great about how much time and patience I was able to show him. That your man is going to therapy is a really good start,and I think its true, its not about you and you have to be patient, and not push him to talk if he doesnt want to. Maybe just offer this, " Id love to hear how things are going with your therapist, if you would like to tell me about it.", but dont put pressure on him.
It sounds like he has a lot of issues he needs to resolve, and having you as a solid support during this can make you both stronger, together and individually. You just have to remember not to take his behavior personally. If you love him, be patient and dont give up, I think the idea of therapy could be great too for both of you, but it sounds like you ought to let him get through some of his issues first.
Good Luck!!
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replied July 30th, 2019
Thank you for asking at Ehealth forum!

I read your question and I understand your concern.
These symptoms are consistent with bipolar disorder. You should be around him for his care so that he may not attempt suicide or cause self inflicted injury. Try to assure him about his illness.
Its better to show him to psychiatrist to evaluate him and streamline his management.
I hope it helps. Stay in touch with your healthcare provider for further guidance as our answers are just for education and counselling purposes and cannot be an alternative to actual visit to a doctor.
Take care
Khan
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