Medical Questions > Mental Health > Bipolar Disorder Forum

husband diagnosed as unipolar manic

He suffered depression about 10-12 months ago and dr put him on
lexapro meds started working within a week, he was happier and more
sociable. jump ahead 2 months and he is a completely different
person, wanting to go out all the time, bars etc. which we stopped
doing 7 years ago when I became pregnant. He made a bunch of new
friends on facebook, people like 10 years younger, he was litterally
crawling to get out of our house. he didin't want to work anymore,
didn't want the pressure. Started having an affair in the begining
of Janury, I didin't find out till about 3 weeks later. got a 2nd
cell phone to talk to her while I was working 12 hours a day to try
to support my family. he finally told me about the afair and said he
had to move out and explore the relationship. He has gone on
spending sprees and has loss of memory. our son is having a very
diffult time dealing with this I am speaking with his ped to get him
some therapy. Husband finally agreed to go see his dr and his doctor
thought he had bipolar, weaned him off lexapro and started him on
amblify. not really any change in him so far. dr sent him to see a
psy. dr and his diagnosed him as unipolar manic no lows only highs.
started him on a new med, I don't know the name as I am not to know
anything anymore as this is his life and he wants me out of it. I am
getting ready to file for divorce which he told me to do, he wants to
live his life, he feels 17 again and his ego is out of control,
thinks he is god's gift now. my question is, is there any chace the
guy I married and loved for 9.5 years will ever come back or do i
divorce and move on with my life???? thanks for letting me vent and
any advice would be appreciated. oh and by the way he has no
remorse, thinks that everything is ok and said that our son will get
over it and that I should get a grip and stop being emotional. I
should't be upset or cry.
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replied February 20th, 2009
I'm sorry to hear that you are going through this. My mom is bipolar and refuses meds, so I know how difficult it can be for a family.

My parents have one of the worst relationships I've ever seen. A few years ago when I was still in high school, my mom got hooked on morphine pills (she had just had a knee replacement.) It was the absolute worst time of my life. She would go missing for days, and when she would come home, she would attack me and my dad. I was the one she always took her anger out on first, then my dad. She usually left my little sister alone, and I'm not sure why. Anyway, now 5 years later, I can see a significant improvement of her behavior. I don't know what turned her around, but I'm grateful. She still has mood swings and some anger problems, but nothing compared to what it used to be. The point of my story is... my dad never gave up on her. I begged him to divorce her many times, because she was destroying him and I already hated her for what she was doing to our family. He wouldn't. He told me that marriage isn't easy, but on their wedding day, he pledged to be there for her for better or for worse, and he has been. They just celebrated their 25th wedding anniversary at the beginning of the month. She has opologized to me many times since I graduated and left, and our relationship is slowly getting better.

I don't know if this helps any, and your situation is a lot different seeing as how he cheated on you and is the one who wants the divorce. Also, if you feel like you or your son are in danger, that's a whole other story. I was just giving you another perspective to maybe see things from. I hoped this helped Smile

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replied February 20th, 2009
Community Volunteer
This is what I would do...have a good cry (not in front of your son), meet with an attorney and set yourself free from this self-centered / absorbed person and don't second guess yourself.

Children have a way of blaming themselves for their parents divorce. Therapy for him would more than likely benefit him.
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