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how to talk to teen boys about sex? (Page 1)

I'm a singal mom of two boys how to i have the sex talk because i know my ex husband wont and i dont ant them to be a teen parent like me
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replied February 22nd, 2009
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well
I usually just ask my parents about sex and stuff . It would help if u talk with them about it. You know say things like I'll by them condoms and stuff make it a fun talk but serious it is slot easier to talk to parents about this when the kids don't fill like ur giving them a lecture. I hope I helped. . Smile
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replied May 29th, 2009
I agree in away!! But You also need to let him know where or not you are ok with him having sex. bc just telling him you will buy him condoms will tell him to just go have sex! I think you can talk and be open with your children and not have it be weird. You just need to be honest with him and let him know how you feel about it!!!
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replied June 9th, 2009
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I'm a teen boy, and my mom had the "sex talk" with me when I was in the fourth grade lol. Its important that you don't wait too long to have it, especially if they're over 13. I don't really think there's a magic way to do it, just don't be too awkward about it. You'll eventually find a good time and say to yourself "F*** it", and bring up the topic.
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replied July 1st, 2009
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my son is now 17 and fromthe very begining i never held anything back if he asked a question i answered honestly. its become a inside joke with us that almost every day or at least once a week i would just out of the blue say ' dont do drugs and wear a condom' lol he just laughs at me but he took my words seriously and he has just become active and he buys condoms. i know this because he also has become very confident in his sexuality and talks to me and his father openly about it. you will be respected more i believe by just being open . ask him what he whants to know and answer honestly. dont feel shy about it. they will love you for it in the long run. also i speak to the girlfriends about it if they are protected with the pill and such . you should look after your men in all areas and you know what the girls seeing me open about it are in return open with me. i say 'girls' its one at the moment. lol good luck
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replied July 30th, 2009
I may be a teenage girl, but I can relate to some of the guys that have posted here.
When I turned thirteen, my parents gave me a book, on sex, periods and all that other stuff. A book. They left it on my bed, and asked me to read it. So I did. I'm now nearly 16, and not once has the issue of sex been brought up by either parent. Whilst I'm partially glad that they spared me the 'birds and the bees' lecture, I feel kind of let down that they didn't have the confidence to talk to me about somehting as important as sexual health. So, if I were you, I'd have that talk. Just be patient, thorough, and answer any questions they might have, because I'm pretty sure there'll be a lot of them. It may feel awkward at first, but believe me, they'll thank you for it in a few years time. Smile
Hope all goes well,
Lauren. x
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replied August 9th, 2009
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bamagirl1 wrote:
my son is now 17 and fromthe very begining i never held anything back if he asked a question i answered honestly. its become a inside joke with us that almost every day or at least once a week i would just out of the blue say ' dont do drugs and wear a condom' lol he just laughs at me but he took my words seriously and he has just become active and he buys condoms.


Heh. I do the same thing with my kids. My daughter is 14 and my sons oldest would have been 21 and youngest is 9. I started from the time they could ask questions answering their questions directly. No matter what the question may be. My daughter freely talks to me. I know she isn't holding anything back by some of the questions she asks me. My son listens to us talk. He hasn't started asking questions yet but I do check in with him to see if he has any. I did the same with my older son. I kept a basket of condoms out in the open and available for him. His friends would even ask me questions. I still have some contact with my older son's friends and to this day they thank me for being so honest and open with them and making them feel comfortable enough and safe. None of them have kids or diseases to date.

I get so frustrated when I hear a parent say something like my kid is not doing that. YES THEY ARE! They are going to do the "that" weather you know about it or not. They are just going to be better at hiding it. I am a big advocate of educating and protecting. What is the harm in providing birth control/protection. Consider the alternative. I got pregnant at 15 and was dang lucky not to have contracted and STD. My mom would not allow me to get on the pill. She said she wasn't going to "give me permission" to have sex. I was already having it, she wasn't even part of my consideration.

I think sex ed should be taught in schools. Not the wimpy type that has to be pc either. Get down and dirty with these kids. I bet the adults would learn a thing or two as well. Those parents that refuse to allow their kids to participate in sex ed are blind. I hear "it's a parent's responsibility to teach their kids about sex" yep, it is but so many of them say that and don't follow through. My daughter's school has a sex ed class. If a parent opts to not allow their child to take the course then the child must provide 13 hours worth of study and reports on STD and pregnancy to show that if they aren't getting the education in school cuz parents want to teach them at home then the parents are actually teaching them at home.
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replied August 21st, 2009
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my sond school does not have a sex ed class. so im sooo glad that we talked to our son early he was 10 when we talked . he is almost TOOO open with uo lol lol he tells us everything. and i mean EVERYTHING lol. i joke with him about fighting with those vampires all the time you know the ones that bite your neck haha. but hes confident and secure with himself and im happy for that i was made to feel ashamed and even know i still get that way it really does mess you up how you get treated by your parents when it comes to sex. im glad he wont have that problem and know he will be just as open with his children. also remember you can get free BAGS of condoms for free from your local health department so pass on the info. after all free is still protection.lol. i love my son and love how open we are with one another all parents should put the 50's idea of wait till your married out to pasture and realise its going to happen and accept it and talk for Gods sake open is so much better than lying.
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replied August 21st, 2009
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oh and just like you jinjer my sons friends think im "COOL" for being open with my son . isent it great lol
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replied August 21st, 2009
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I'm the same way with my sons..Since they could talk I've always answered their questions directly and talked to them about anything. Now they are 18 & almost 20 and they tell me everything. Sometimes things I'd rather not hear, but hey they think I'm a cool mom and they are great kids..I couldn't have asked for better. I feel so lucky when I read some of these forums about teens. The trick to raising great kids is open communication from the start. Let them know they can trust you and never make fun or laugh at any questions they ask because it will only shut them off from asking you the next question and someone else may give them the wrong answer. I know people who have a total wall up between them and their kids and it's really sad. I really believe it's the reason so many kids get into trouble. They say families who eat dinner together have the best communication with their kids..
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replied August 21st, 2009
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there is a cool website for teenagers it's called sexetc.org
it teaches sex education and it answers typical questions teenagers may have. you can search the site and it may give you ideas.

my son is 13 years old and i dread talking to him about sex, but i know if i dont tell him he will learn from the streets.
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replied August 21st, 2009
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Hi ServiceU,

It's nice to see you on here tonight. Don't let him see that you are uncomfortable talking to him about sex or he will feel that wall and go elsewhere for answers and we don't want that. Begin with a little joking around and then turn it into a little more of a serious but comfortable conversation about sex or anything else he may be having problems with...Tell him afterwards that you are there to give him any advice, support and answers he may need and that he can tell you anything. You have no idea how much this is a relief to teens to hear a parent say this to them. So many kids are looking for answers and wouldn't even think of asking their parents. Just open up to him, tell him stories about things you went through as a teen and you will see that he will enjoy opening up to you.
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replied August 31st, 2009
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yes like i said i keep it a running joke to keep it light but i think its more for me now that hes older than for him haha because hes sooo open with us he doesent even care if its embaressinglol the joke is Dont do drugs wear a condom. lol he just laughs and rolls his eyes and says yes mom i know i know lol of course i love it because everything weve said HAS sunk in glad to see others doing the same.
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replied August 31st, 2009
I'm 15..... my parents dont really talk about this stuff.....i think it would be kinda weird bringing up the subject sex to a 15 year old from a 40 year old ;P mayb just buy him condoms and tell them "Play it safe."
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replied August 31st, 2009
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there is this cool website called sexetc.org
it for teens
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replied September 1st, 2009
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Talk to your boys about sex just like you would about the importance of excercise, racism, or any topic that will be important to them as they go through life. Be practiced in your material, speak calmly and comfortably. Your awkwardness with the subject will only make sex seem more forboding or weird to them. Cover the basic facts of where babies come from, why they need to be safe from diseases and why they need to be sure they are protecting their partners from pregnancy. If you have a moral belief about sex you feel you need to impart on your boys be sure to frame it as "I beleive that you shouldn't do this because of this this reason". Mixing personal belief into facts may confuse your message. Make sure to separate the two clearly or you risk that neither will be heard. Keep any speech short, most teens do not have a long attention span and it gets shorter for parental lectures. Once you've said what you need to ask them if they have any questions and brace yourself for anything. Do your best not to chuckle at anything they ask. If you don't know something they ask about or are unsuare how to best answer it, write the question down and tell them you want to be sure you have the right answer, you'll get back to them on that.

If your kids believe that you will give them accurate unbiased information about sex then you'll win the priviledge of being informed of their sex life, which sounds pretty daunting but is a lot less nerve wracking that being left to wonder who they're having sex with or what kind of lessons the outside world is teaching them about sex.
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replied September 1st, 2009
Abstinence lectures do not work. I would just suggest telling him that sex is something that should between people who truly love eachother, but not some random girl that's willing to give it up. And ALWAYS be safe. 15 year old boys are the horniest things on the planet and I'm sorry, but your son is/will be one of those 15 year olds. Just be open about it, say that you know that abstinence isn't a value in kids these days and that you'll be willing to talk him through anything.
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replied September 1st, 2009
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Amen people, Amen . and if ANYTHING use condoms please kids. and no matter how embarrising it may seem bring it up they may feel the same way someone needs to open the door why not you. good luck
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replied September 1st, 2009
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Also buy condoms for your kids. Keep them in a location you know they won't deteriorate. Tell your boys any time they think they may need a condom you'll be happy to give them one.
When I was a minor it was an insurmountable task to take a pack of rubbers off the rack and walk up to the cash register with them. If it weren't for outreach centers that handed out condoms I probably wouldn't have had protected sex until I was in my early 20's
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replied September 1st, 2009
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we buy them for our son. and too you can get a huge bag of them for free from the health department. thats where i got them also.
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