Medical Questions > Relationships > Troubled and Abusive Relationships Forum

How to deal with a dominating and cruel mil?

Iam married 8 years ago with a 5 year old son.After 6 months of marriage my mil startted criticizing.Iam not doing anything right.Iam not clean I dont do work fast.Iam fat.I have pco problem and facial hair...on that also she made fun.She will not allow me to cook in the kitchen...neither i should cuddle my baby.I bore it alll...and one fine day I lost my temper and she moved upstairs .We have 2 houses. .....saying u stay down happily....that became more problem for us....their she starrtted controlling my husband and kid.....and when i tried talking to her....she would shut the door on my face....she would say nasty things about me to my child...and that child of 3 would come repeat to me....i would go telll my husband....but he is mom' son...would not lke to hear anything against her....i would beat my child....cry for being so cruel to my child.....iam sick...though iam well educated and had a good job....nobody was willing to help me at home ...iquit my job...for my child's sake...but mother and son will behave as though nothing has sick of alll this........many a times i feel like leaving everything and going...take up a job ..and manage my son alone....but my son needs a iam bearing all this nonsense...Now my son is 5 he understand lot of things also she is continuing the same thing...telling all bad things about me ....i have no escape from this mad house...only God should help
Did you find this post helpful?

User Profile
replied July 25th, 2010
Community Volunteer
Hi poora73,

You need to move out of your mother-in-law house. You say you are an educated person who had a good job, you can get another one. As you should know abusinng your son is wrong and if you must, leave him in the care of your husband until you can get yourself together. Get in touch with an attorney and have him to draw up an agreement between yourself and your husbanding stating you are willing to leave your son with him and his mother providing when you it is understood that you are not abandoning him. Please seek counseling immediately and don't beat your son ever again, it is hurting him for life.

Good Luck,

Faded Rose
Did you find this post helpful?

replied August 31st, 2011
Faded Rose I agree completely. if (poora73) you want to be a good mother, how can you do it feeling like this my dear? you have to focus on your own well being as it is one and the same with your son. take steps to get out of there and when its all done and the dust has settled, and the right action has shown itself, then you can figure the way to do right by your son. you can then raise your son either from a distance; seeing him now and then IF its suitable, or get custody of him, or whatever else is right for you. the priority is this- get yourself out, get self sufficient. easy for me to type this. remember the immediacy of action- dont keep yourself in limbo just do what you have to do. i can only imagine what you are going through, but i stand by what i said, it is imperative that you stop focusing on these people and put your sincere and sustained efforts into getting out, for good. dont take half measures, or something will bring you back. you do this, for yourself, and your son will benefit so much. dont let him blame you, kids can feel when their moms are not happy and its liable to affect him. remember the example of water, nothing is softer than water, and yet, through steadily lapping at rock, it can tunnel through it, even rock is so hard it can make a path through it, and is still so soft.

There is light at the end of this tunnel for you. do the right actions and dont become a prisoner of doubt or despair. dont be led by emotion to hurt your kid, be led by wisdom, to make best for yourself and for him

Love and sustained encouragement,
Garry A
Did you find this post helpful?