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How to cope with failure?

Hi All,
I am having treatment with donor egg/sperm in Spain and just had my first failed cycle
This was our first time using BOTH egg/sperm donation and I imagine I had my hopes up that it would be the secret ingredient to making our cycle work! All of my immune, implantation and clotting tests show "normal". All of my HSG, Hysteroscopy's and Sonohystograms are normal too except for some minimal polyp tissue which has been removed during the procedures--but it has been nothing major anyway. So, what could it be? We used fresh embryos and transferred 2- 3-day great looking embryos.
All transfers in the past we have used Medrol and baby Aspirin in our protocol.
I am just at a loss as to what to try to finally conceive!! Any advice? Am I really this unlucky to have another failure?I have done 3 own egg IVF resulting in 1 miscarriage at 8 weeks
Next I had donor egg IVF with 1 fresh and 4 FET-----all negative
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replied March 23rd, 2015
I am also from Spain. I made a donation in different clinics of Spain. 10 failures!!! I lost a lot of money that could be spent on my children. And I am not the only one. People, be smarter, dont go in Spain for donation, there is no success rate!!! Do not waste your precious time, money and health. Having decided to try my luck abroad, I was choosing between India and Russia. I rejected India very quickly as there is a high level of diseases. Sometimes children are born with disabilities. In General donation in India is very cheap, but I cannot imagine how people decide to go to make the child in such a country. In Russia I found a very respectable clinic. After 10 failures I was almost out of hope, but you can imagine my shock when I got pregnant after the first attempt But finally I had a miscarriage. It was a big tragedy for us. A year is passed since that. And Only now I feel strong enough to continue my efforts. I dont want to come back in Russia. I think you understand me. This place connects me with my unborn angel. It is too difficult for me. Now I am thinking about Georgia and Ukraine. I like clinic in Georgia. I guess a service will be better there. As I have heard there are some difficulties with comfort in Ukraine. But in Ukraine treatment is cheaper. And they have very attractive proposals. So we still didnt decide where to go.
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replied March 24th, 2015
Hi WestRose! Oh I can imagine how you feel. You have passed through so difficult way and experienced a lot. Did they explain you why these failures happened in Spain? Maybe it is a silly question because I also had failures. And in my case they just said that it didnt survive. Though you had so many attempts. Did the doctors give you baseless hope? Maybe they put you some diagnosis? It is very dishonest from their part to promise what they are not able to. Georgia is an amazing country. It is truth that they have perfect service. My friend went for egg donation to Georgia. She was surprised with the highest conditions and attentiveness of the personnel. But unfortunately, she had four failed attempts. And please note, that those tries were not cheap. It is known that there is no high success rate in Georgia. As I understand it is because of lack of the experience in this field. The sphere of reproductive technologies in Georgia is relatively new. There are not so many clinics. So it is not a surprise that there is no too much success. I wouldnt advise you to go to Georgia. You will just spend money without any result. As I did surrogacy in Ukraine and achieved positive result I find it the best country for ivf, egg donation and surrogacy. Of course, there are pros and cons. The service is not the perfect. We also had to wait a lot before the procedure. There are a lot of clients. But I can say it only about Biotexcom. I didnt visit other clinics.
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replied March 23rd, 2015
Hi,Carry! As I know there is no high success rate in reproductive medicine in Spain. I went for egg donation last year. I had three attempts. None of them were positive. As I understand it has explanation in such way. There are used frozen eggs instead of fresh ones. That happens because of a lack of donors. And certainly it is more preferable to do egg donation with fresh eggs. I have read very interesting article. Here you can read about the fresh and frozen here. http://newseurope.info/fresh-donor-eggs-ma ke-for-success/ The clinics where I did IVF didnt give me any guarantee. Furthermore, I had to wait a lot until they found compatible donor.
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replied March 23rd, 2015
Hi,Carry! As I know there is no high success rate in reproductive medicine in Spain. I went for egg donation last year. I had three attempts. None of them were positive. As I understand it has explanation in such way. There are used frozen eggs instead of fresh ones. That happens because of a lack of donors. And certainly it is more preferable to do egg donation with fresh eggs. I have read very interesting article. Here you can read about the fresh and frozen. Furthermore, I had to wait a lot until they found compatible donor.
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replied March 24th, 2015
I think the clinics that use fresh eggs are rather an exception. Most of them use the frozen ones. The clinics where I had treatment were able to offer egg donation of fresh eggs. That is why I had to find out other options. The problem in Spain is that you have for a donor lot. You cant also choose the donor by photo. After my failed attempts in the clinic, I went to another country. And there I could choose the donor by photo. I find it is very convenient. But in Spain I didnt have such opportunity. I was also provided by the basic information about the donor. I am glad for those couples who achieved success in Spain. However, I believe it is rather a rare case than a common thing. I also think that some can have more luck. They can conceive with the first attempt. The other ones can try three or four times and nothing. But there is a success rate of every clinic. It is like a general opinion. So after failures in Spain I conceived in Biotexcom in Ukraine. It is not just luck. It is truth that success rate in Ukraine is much higher than in Spain. A lot of Spanish couples come to Ukraine for reproductive programs. I must say that I dont regret at all about my decision. The service was not worse as in Spain. And the price was also affordable. Finally the most considerable point for it was that they had excellent results.
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replied March 24th, 2015
I think the clinics that use fresh eggs are rather an exception. Most of them use the frozen ones. The clinics where I had treatment were able to offer egg donation of fresh eggs. That is why I had to find out other options. The problem in Spain is that you have for a donor lot. You cant also choose the donor by photo. After my failed attempts in the clinic, I went to another country. And there I could choose the donor by photo. I find it is very convenient. But in Spain I didnt have such opportunity. I was also provided by the basic information about the donor. I am glad for those couples who achieved success in Spain. However, I believe it is rather a rare case than a common thing. I also think that some can have more luck. They can conceive with the first attempt. The other ones can try three or four times and nothing. But there is a success rate of every clinic. It is like a general opinion. So after failures in Spain I conceived in Biotexcom in Ukraine. It is not just luck. It is truth that success rate in Ukraine is much higher than in Spain. A lot of Spanish couples come to Ukraine for reproductive programs. I must say that I dont regret at all about my decision. The service was not worse as in Spain. And the price was also affordable. Finally the most considerable point for it was that they had excellent results.
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replied March 24th, 2015
Hello, ladies! I do want to warn you about Spain. Since I live there, and unfortunately I experience it firsthand. Firstly, I had three IVF attempts with my embryos. But they were not of very good quality and I was offered a donation. Then I made 6 attempts with donated embryos and all were failed. Moonlight, I think you like no one can imagine my desperation. I cried, I thought I was crazy. How is this possible? But when I came to life, I began searching the information. It should also be a cause. I was looking for people with the same problem. And I read about the frozen eggs, that in Spain there are very few donors, thats why they froze the donors eggs. But the horror is that after freezing the implantation rate is reduced to the minimum. I paid for each embryo, which is not really cost anything. Girls, if you want to have children, look for other options, don't go to Spain. I'm also trying to find other options. Take care of yourself and be careful making a choice.
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replied March 31st, 2015
Hi, Deedeee! I completely understand you. I was in the same situation. I felt desperate and frustrated. I thought that it was my last chance. But, please, dont give up. This is not the end. There are a lot of other options. I also didnt achieve in Spain. As I have mentioned I had three negative results. But it didnt stop me. I tried to find out new ways out, new solutions. I am sure that you will choose the best option for you. And you will be able to feel the pleasure of motherhood.
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replied March 31st, 2015
Corazon98, thank you for your support. I appreciate it very much. Without a doubt I am not going to give up. Only I lost a lot of money. Now we have some difficulties with finances(( I have money really for only one attempt(( But no one can give me a guarantee that I will get pregnant. And I have a lot of fears. I dont want to lose my last chance. I dont know what to do. I should go in another country for treatment. But I am afraid of it so much. We also should have extra money for accommodation and food. I am also afraid of frauds. Actually I would like to go in US. I have heard that they are gods of reproductive medicine. But I havent enough money even for one attempt there. And it is without flights and accommodation. Too expensive for us. So it should be something much cheaper. But all other options I can imagine scares me even more. Maybe someone here had experience of donations abroad and can share it. This information could be very useful, I think not only for me. Or maybe someone is going abroad for donation. I will be very grateful for all information you can share. May be it is impolite to ask you for that. I know sometimes it is hard to share your private story. I am sorry for it. But it could help very much. Thanks in advance.
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replied August 15th, 2018
Experienced User
I've just came across this thread. Seems it's been napping. But I have definitely a thing to add. I've read biotexcom was planning to organize its open days in London on 18 and 19th of Aug. I thought those who are looking onto egg donation and surrogacy might be interested in the event. It was said the head of their English department will be there to explain their treatment plans and answer the questions.
We're currently undergoing DE ivf treatments with them in ukraine. Have positive experience though our 1st round OE ivf failed. I produced 4 follies and 1 egg only! They transferred 1 embie but it failed to make his home. We ended with bfn. Dr told she felt no good with pushing me into another OE round. She strongly recommended using donor egg instead.
The thing I love about them is that they are honest with the patients. And if for some reason the treatment plan is not going to work --they tell you openly, then begin looking for ways to improve the situation. They explain things -- not irritate with excuses. I believe this is a perfect approach. This is not the place which looms your money, but the one which works for the result. Just felt I needed to say this.
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replied August 15th, 2018
Experienced User
I've just came across this thread. Seems it's been napping. But I have definitely a thing to add. I've read biotexcom was planning to organize its open days in London on 18 and 19th of Aug. I thought those who are looking onto egg donation and surrogacy might be interested in the event. It was said the head of their English department will be there to explain their treatment plans and answer the questions.
We're currently undergoing DE ivf treatments with them in ukraine. Have positive experience though our 1st round OE ivf failed. I produced 4 follies and 1 egg only! They transferred 1 embie but it failed to make his home. We ended with bfn. Dr told she felt no good with pushing me into another OE round. She strongly recommended using donor egg instead.
The thing I love about them is that they are honest with the patients. And if for some reason the treatment plan is not going to work --they tell you openly, then begin looking for ways to improve the situation. They explain things -- not irritate with excuses. I believe this is a perfect approach. This is not the place which looms your money, but the one which works for the result. Just felt I needed to say this.
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replied April 26th, 2019
Experienced User
Re: How to cope with failure?
Carry12 wrote:
Hi All,
I am having treatment with donor egg/sperm in Spain and just had my first failed cycle
This was our first time using BOTH egg/sperm donation and I imagine I had my hopes up that it would be the secret ingredient to making our cycle work! All of my immune, implantation and clotting tests show "normal". All of my HSG, Hysteroscopy's and Sonohystograms are normal too except for some minimal polyp tissue which has been removed during the procedures--but it has been nothing major anyway. So, what could it be? We used fresh embryos and transferred 2- 3-day great looking embryos.
All transfers in the past we have used Medrol and baby Aspirin in our protocol.
I am just at a loss as to what to try to finally conceive!! Any advice? Am I really this unlucky to have another failure?I have done 3 own egg IVF resulting in 1 miscarriage at 8 weeks
Next I had donor egg IVF with 1 fresh and 4 FET-----all negative

I'm so sorry to hear you're facing this, hun. It must be tough and unbearable at times. Here's some of my background:
Me - 38 yo with DOR.
DH is 39 yo, his swimmers perfect.
Natural cycle with clomid - too many to count 2013.
Cancelled IUI - July 2014 (cysts)
Sep IUI 2014 - BFN
Swithced clinics Jan 2016 for one abroad (our next step was gonna be IVF, so we searched for more affordable prices)
IVF#1 - ET 1 embryo - BFN.
Sep 2017 was told IVF with OE was not going to work. Time to use DE.
2017-2018 - Plan B donor eggs.
Sweet LO born Dec.
From the deep of my heart I wanna tell you, I'm hoping for you. Moreover, since you've been opting for donor eggs, have you heard anything about mitochondria donation therapy?? It's aimed for ladies 40+ or with low AMH to use own eggs with IVF. I'm going to paste the article through another post, please, do have a look. What if it's your chance to improve the situation you've found yourself in??
Keeping you in my prayers rainbow
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